I have been self harming since I was 11.
I'm 21 with a job in healthcare and I still can't stop myself from cutting. Its become a custome. That's my go to when I'm stressed, upset, lonely, sometimes even if I'm bored. I just like to have cuts or burns or scratches on me at all times. Its like a secret that I don't have to share its amusing to me in a way. I feel almost naked if I don't have at least a few cuts on me at any given time. I've tried to stop and for a while I did, but I just keep turning back.
I want to move forward with my life but its like I'm stuck In a hole that I can't climb out of. I see everyone around me moving on with their lives and I'm stuck here hurting myself with no control over anything. My anxiety is to bad to seek help. I just feel like I would be better off dead because dying just seems so easier, more realistic and more inviting than trying to live a normal life.
I have tried to stop self harming and it's not working. I have been cutting for a little over 2 years and have tried to stop multiple times, but with no luck. I had stopped for about 3 months and relapsed about an hour ago. I can't control myself when I feel emotions and I absolutely hate it. I can't talk about it in person, or I break down. Any replies would be nice. I would just like to talk to people that don't know me as a person and have never met me, it helps a lot.
I started Abilify 2mg on Monday to try as an adjunct treatment to Wellbutrin XL 450mg. Since Monday night, I have had a headache that has not stopped, although it seems to be at it's worst maybe 6-10 hours after I've taken my meds.
It only occurred to me today that my headache might be a side effect of Abilify and I wanted to hear if anyone had similar experiences or not, and if you did if it cleared up or not
Edit to add: I've also been experiencing intense nausea, with fits of gagging and retching and I did throw up a little on Tuesday night, and a complete lack of appetite as well the last few days.