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I am struggling right now with old thinking patterns.  I'm just not feeling stable and strong. I'm reliving feelings from my childhood when I was vulnerable and was in the role of a victim,which is what I identified as for most of my life. 

This morning on the radio there was a report about a train wreck. Everybody survived and most were only mildly injured but a few had to be taken to the hospital.  My  immediate reaction was to think that they were lucky to "get" to go to the hospital and be taken care of. 

I don'tknow if anyone will understand this.  I just want to be taken care of. 

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It makes sense to me. We all like to be taken care of and given attention. At least sometimes.

 

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I'm not sure what 's going on with my brain. I keep going back and forth between feeling pretty good and then, a few minutes later, feeling really anxious and insecure. Like I am teetering back and forth between feeling stable and then really unstable.  

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Are you coming out of an episode?  I can get like that when an episode is finally ending--things start stabilizing until it eventually sticks.  Just a thought.

The other thing I would consider is medication-related.  Any new changes?

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I've actually  been pretty stable for about a year.  No recent med changes. This is a typically hard time of year for me sothat could be leaving me feeling vulnerable and then it is easy to slip back into old thoughts and patterns. Plus,my birthday is on Monday and I guess I am trying to block it out...

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