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So my girl is now 18. She is going to a party tonight. And for the FIRST TIME EVER, she asked if I would buy a bottle of wine for her and her girlfriends. I told her I was very uncomfortable with this idea. She said they would drink some at home, put the rest in water bottles and either walk or take an Uber to the party.

Every warning signal in my body is screaming NO NO NO. But knowing MY experience is super shitty as a comparison, what do you guys think?  Would love both 'kids' and parents to chime in. Thank you!

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Don't do it, water. The legal drinking age is 21. If you provide alcohol for underage youths, you could be held criminally responsible. 

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I know! I told her that. Even if they don't drive a car if something happened I would be arrested.

They said they will ask someone else if i don't do it. And that all the kids do this. And that it is safer to bring alcohol to these parties than drink the stuff they have there. blah blah blah

I told her no. They are waxing their FACES. It broke my heart. ugh. She removed for the first time ever, the hair above her upper lip. That delicate hair was fine, it was perfect. Now it will be thicker. I need to let it go. oh god.

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water, if they get the alcohol elsewhere then the person providing it is responsible and it's on them. In point of fact, if your daughter came home drunk, you could call the police and have the person who provided the alcohol arrested. This is one of those times when you have to put your foot down.

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Thank you and bless you. I did. It's weird. Right now I am more upset about her waxing her face. I guess this is another right of passage. She seems to like me there when they occur which is a good thing I guess. Sometimes, though, I wish.....I didn't know so much. 

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jt is right, do NOT furnish alcohol to minors. There are several different ways you can run afoul of the law by doing this.

There are some places that carve out exceptions for parents furnishing to their own children while supervised at home; this does NOT apply to furnishing alcohol to other minors, even supervised in your home.  It's not worth trying to keep track of all that.

Bottom line:  Do not furnish alcohol to minors. Period.

 

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All of the above. Do NOT do this. It’s one thing if my 17yo asks if I’ll split a beer with him with a late dinner, and he’s going nowhere. But to have your child - and others - drink and then leave, you can and will go to jail for that. Putting wine in water bottles?  Your daughter is risking being arrested too. It’s doubtful that an 18yo is responsible enough to not do something stupid while drinking.

Your child is miffed? Well too bad. She’ll get over it eventually. 

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Thank you RAbbit and SB. Of course I said no. But then they asked someone else.  My girl drove to a friend from camps' house with two friends. She did not drink and drove them all back to our house at 11pm. I then drove them all BACK to the camp friends' house. They never went to the college party.  Which I was VERY relieved about. They did however drink at the house of the camp friend. AND made a mess of the bathroom, wax and false eyelashes everywhere.

She handed it all very well. I am constantly reminding her about alcohol. Her birth grandfather was an alcoholic. I am a total lightweight which is wonderful. I can get tipsy off a half a glass of wine. She knows that being able to hold your liquor well is DANGEROUS. Her freshman orientation was filled with alcohol and drug warnings. AND she tells me if she does anything. Which, as I said, is not always easy. 

But about the water bottles....I went to a speed artist/dating event last night. lol
I polled a few people. Most said that bringing your own alcohol to a college/frat party in a water bottle is a great idea. They are all freaked about drinking out of other peoples concoctions or drinks. HOwever, all of these guys were above the age of consent. Not much above however. I did NOT drink at 18. I hardly drink now. Some of the people I asked thought it was no big deal. But there were others who NEVER drank at age 18. 

I am not at all ready to have a drink with my girl. She is still too young. It feels weird. But that is totally because of my lightweightness and her ability to hold her liquor. 

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My parents wouldn't even let us have alcohol at home on special occasions (Thanksgiving, Christmas dinner, etc.) until we were 18, and didn't let us have it on ordinary occasions at home until I was 21. I went to college out of state, and my parents were more-or-less aware that I did drink underage, but they were not going to provide it when I was home, except on holidays. Honestly, I never had much of a social life in high school, so rules about drinking with friends were pretty much a non-issue. I did find it a little weird that even once I left for college, they wouldn't let me have a drink at dinner when I came back to visit, but to me, it never was a big deal. I don't know if my experience is really relevant since I didn't really party or go out with friends anywhere that there would be alcohol while in high school, and in college, I was away from home. 

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