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ReincarnatedCow

I'm not suicidal, but I wouldn't mind dying.

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I'm not suicidal, at least I don't think I am at the moment.  I do have plans in place for if something goes wrong but i'm fully aware I wont act on them. But if someone were to pull a gun on me or something like that, I would most likely tip him. I'm not actively trying to kill myself, but I would not mind dying. Can anyone else relate or am I going crazy?

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When you kind of passively wish to die, a lot of times that could mean that you just want life and/or the world to stop, which is different than wanting to kill yourself. I was in that place for years. That doesn't necessarily make you feel any better, I just wanted to point out a possible distinction.

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3 hours ago, crtclms said:

When you kind of passively wish to die, a lot of times that could mean that you just want life and/or the world to stop, which is different than wanting to kill yourself. I was in that place for years. That doesn't necessarily make you feel any better, I just wanted to point out a possible distinction.

yes i had passive deathwish for a while

get some help, are you seeing a dr? what about a therapist?

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5 hours ago, crtclms said:

When you kind of passively wish to die, a lot of times that could mean that you just want life and/or the world to stop, which is different than wanting to kill yourself. I was in that place for years. That doesn't necessarily make you feel any better, I just wanted to point out a possible distinction.

Not speaking for the OP, but for me, it's not a passive wish; it's just that if it happened, I wouldn't mind.

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I currently don’t have a therapist and I’m about to move states so I no longer have a doctor,  at the moment it feels like I’m just forever stuck in one place mentally.

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sbdivemaster, I am not being clear enough, because what you describe is pretty much what I experience.

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ReincarnatedCow (great name, by the way), I know exactly what you’re feeling. I’ve felt that way so many times, and for so long. How do you feel otherwise? Blah? OK? Are you enjoying things? Coping ok with ordinary life stuff?

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10 hours ago, Gearhead said:

ReincarnatedCow (great name, by the way), I know exactly what you’re feeling. I’ve felt that way so many times, and for so long. How do you feel otherwise? Blah? OK? Are you enjoying things? Coping ok with ordinary life stuff?

To be totally honest things around me are going fairly well, for whatever reason I still remain depressed. I recently got out of a manic phase so this was expected and now I’m just trying to get through.

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4 hours ago, ReincarnatedCow said:

To be totally honest things around me are going fairly well, for whatever reason I still remain depressed.

The beauty of clinical depression, no?  Agonizingly non-sensical at times.  I hope that your depression lifts. 

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1 hour ago, dancesintherain said:

The beauty of clinical depression, no?  Agonizingly non-sensical at times.  I hope that your depression lifts. 

I am also, I used to only take Zoloft which did actually help the depression but once I started my mania took off and had no intention of stopping

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8 minutes ago, looking for answers said:

Why no mood stabilizwr

I’ve been going to a family doctor cause my parents don’t like going to a specialist and this doctor is very hesitant. Right now the plan is to just keep moving forward and get real help when I’m out of the house.

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Just now, looking for answers said:

Can u schedule urself and drive urself?

Well not exactly... I’m in the middle of moving states in a few days and in my last manic swing I totaled my car.

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54 minutes ago, ReincarnatedCow said:

Well not exactly... I’m in the middle of moving states in a few days and in my last manic swing I totaled my car.

Ur parents don’t believe there’s an issue? Does you GP label u bipolar?

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11 minutes ago, looking for answers said:

Ur parents don’t believe there’s an issue? Does you GP label u bipolar?

So the thing is that yes I have been diagnosed BP1, but my parents don’t like going to specialists (I have no idea why) so they aren’t the best when it comes to this but I have been working on some self help methods and a coworker of mine gave me a bipolar workbook which has been very helpful. That should/hopefully get me through the year and then I can get some real help.

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