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kittyloaf

Caregiving

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I've been my grandma's caregiver for almost 2 years. I set up her meds, remind her to take them, and lately it's to the point that she can't prepare her own food. I left for an overnight trip (she was supposed to come too, but refused at last minute) and when I came back found that she didn't take her meds and didn't eat anything except a banana while I was gone. Now my boyfriend is starting a job (he cooked for us) and isn't home to cook dinner anymore. I am struggling with mental health issues and feel like I can't care for my grandma anymore and wonder if she should go to a nursing home. I feel like such a bad person for giving up on her but I can barely take care of myself right now. There isn't an option other than nursing home as both of my uncles' wives refuse to have her move in (which is when I stepped in when she was living alone).

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I was my grandmother's caregiver as well. There definitely came to a point where I couldn't manage the both of us. You're not giving up on her, and it doesn't make you a bad person. Giving up on her would look like leaving her alone, rather than ensuring that her care needs were met, and by recognizing your limits and working out an alternative you're still caring for her.

I'm not sure if where you live has respite care, but it can also be very helpful in case you have to go away again.

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Thank you @WinterRosie. There is respite care, a caregiver comes 3x week for 3 hours to give me a break. My grandma complains about paying for it, she just wants me to do it for free I guess. Frustrating. Anyway, I didn't call them as my grandma canceled at the last minute and I didn't think they could get someone on so short notice. Next time I will definitely get respite care.

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