Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Chrisalt87

Bi polar hell and been black listed by all area pdocs

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

Long story shortish I saw a very well known psych doc from 16-23. He ended up discharging me. We were not a good fit from day one. I’m 30 now.

Last nov shortly after turning 30 I went into the psyche ward and requested any other pdoc, who shows up? Him. I thought ok I’ll give him another chance. Then one out patient appt later he asks me my symptoms. I started to answer the he says “I don’t care I don’t care” at that point I fired him as my pdoc . Why am I going to see someone who doesn’t care or let me answer a question he asks?

since then I’ve tried to get admitted 4 times to 3 different hospitals but since I fired him no one wants to touch me. A couple weeks ago I went into 2 different psychewards saying (one of which he practises at) saying “I’m suicidal I’m homicidal I’m a threat”  I’m gonna shoot up the place etc etc” my blood pressure was 202. They still would not admit me. I even said this infront of 2 cops.  I’m 6’2 200lbs tattoos everywhere including head and face. I’m a scary looking guy, i can admit this as I have my reasons why. Having said this I wouldn’t hurt anyone who didn’t come at me to hurt me. If they did Then they better kill me.

You’d think they have at least arrested me. 

I wish I was joking about any of this

Ok so my main point for this post is iam playing pdoc to myself along with scripts from my shocked family doctor. I have myself at 1200 mg lithium following my own blood work and the mania is semi gone but I feel like I’m just getting older and more tired to keep this fight up. I feel like suck starting a shotgun or lighting myself on fire in the street. 

Does lithium help with depression? I want an anti depressant but can’t handle the sex sides. Anyone have good experiences with adding Wellbutrin to a mood stabilizer?

sorry for the long post. Any advice appreciated.

Edited by Chrisalt87

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think lithium does help a lot with depression, although usually it’s more well known for squashing mania. Considering the life changes I’ve had to go through lately, I’d say it’s kept me on a fairly even keel. 

Unfortunately, Wellbutrin turned me into a raging anxious bitch. It seems to be an either love or hate med. some people do very well on it. As always, YMMV, so it might be worth a shot. 

Are there any nearby cities that you could try, for another pdoc? Mine is in another city 30 minutes away, wish he was a lot closer, but that’s where he chose to relocate. Your situation sounds very sucky, sorry. Good luck. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

what about telemedicine

www.amwell.com 

or 

www.doctorsondemand.com

 

they ahve pdocs you can see over your computer.......or even with your pdoc to collarborate........or if u need medicine that they cant prescribe via telemedicine your doctor can write it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Rabbit37 said:

I think lithium does help a lot with depression, although usually it’s more well known for squashing mania. Considering the life changes I’ve had to go through lately, I’d say it’s kept me on a fairly even keel. 

Unfortunately, Wellbutrin turned me into a raging anxious bitch. It seems to be an either love or hate med. some people do very well on it. As always, YMMV, so it might be worth a shot. 

Are there any nearby cities that you could try, for another pdoc? Mine is in another city 30 minutes away, wish he was a lot closer, but that’s where he chose to relocate. Your situation sounds very sucky, sorry. Good luck. 

Thanks for the advice on Wellbutrin I think I’d have the same results but replace bitch with complete asshole. I’ll have to think on that one.

 

2 hours ago, looking for answers said:

what about telemedicine

www.amwell.com 

or 

www.doctorsondemand.com

 

they ahve pdocs you can see over your computer.......or even with your pdoc to collarborate........or if u need medicine that they cant prescribe via telemedicine your doctor can write it

Interesting.. I’ve never heard of this service. Thank you I’ll look into it.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 minutes ago, Chrisalt87 said:

Thanks for the advice on Wellbutrin I think I’d have the same results but replace bitch with complete asshole. I’ll have to think on that one.

 

Interesting.. I’ve never heard of this service. Thank you I’ll look into it.

 

i know some on here have used it before

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm terribly sorry you're having such a hard time with getting treatment! That's awful! Sounds like that pdoc you were seeing is a class A throbbing asshole... For a doctor of any kind to say "I don't care" in response to a question they asked kind of suggests to me that either they have lost their way as to why they took that job in the first place, or maybe they don't know what to do or something..

6 hours ago, Chrisalt87 said:

Ok so my main point for this post is iam playing pdoc to myself along with scripts from my shocked family doctor. I have myself at 1200 mg lithium following my own blood work and the mania is semi gone but I feel like I’m just getting older and more tired to keep this fight up. I feel like suck starting a shotgun or lighting myself on fire in the street. 

Does lithium help with depression? I want an anti depressant but can’t handle the sex sides. Anyone have good experiences with adding Wellbutrin to a mood stabilizer?

I've been there myself... I had to do that while I was searching for a pdoc and also when I finally found my current one but had to wait for my intake session. You may need a whole cocktail of meds to deal with your symptoms, it sounds like... I can't say for sure what you would need since I'm not a pdoc, but I can make suggestions from my experience based on what you've said. I'm really sorry you're feeling suicidal. I hope you don't act on those feelings.

For most people, from what my pdoc told me, lithium at low blood levels tends to act more like an antidepressant, while at higher blood levels it acts like an anti-manic. Since your mania is still present, you may need more lithium, but you don't want to overdo it on the lithium because you can damage your kidneys and thyroid.

I knew someone on another website similar to this one that went down who was on a combination of Wellbutrin and lithium for depression who did quite well, actually. He was on it for bipolar depression, though, not mania and depression, which, btw, does it seem like you might be in a mixed episode? Rather than Wellbutrin, perhaps you might consider asking your doctor about Lamictal for your depression, and also an atypical antipsychotic for topping off the mania and also helping with the depression. Any of them would do, but the side effect profile depends on what symptoms you're mainly struggling with. Like if you need something sedating, you might want to go with Zyprexa, Seroquel, Saphris, etc., but if you need something stimulating, Abilify, Rexulti, Vraylar, etc. But if you are looking for weight neutral and metabolically friendly, Abilify, Rexulti, Vraylar, and Geodon are probably going to be the best fit, and so on... I think you know what I mean by all that though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 hours ago, mikl_pls said:

I'm terribly sorry you're having such a hard time with getting treatment! That's awful! Sounds like that pdoc you were seeing is a class A throbbing asshole... For a doctor of any kind to say "I don't care" in response to a question they asked kind of suggests to me that either they have lost their way as to why they took that job in the first place, or maybe they don't know what to do or something..

I've been there myself... I had to do that while I was searching for a pdoc and also when I finally found my current one but had to wait for my intake session. You may need a whole cocktail of meds to deal with your symptoms, it sounds like... I can't say for sure what you would need since I'm not a pdoc, but I can make suggestions from my experience based on what you've said. I'm really sorry you're feeling suicidal. I hope you don't act on those feelings.

For most people, from what my pdoc told me, lithium at low blood levels tends to act more like an antidepressant, while at higher blood levels it acts like an anti-manic. Since your mania is still present, you may need more lithium, but you don't want to overdo it on the lithium because you can damage your kidneys and thyroid.

I knew someone on another website similar to this one that went down who was on a combination of Wellbutrin and lithium for depression who did quite well, actually. He was on it for bipolar depression, though, not mania and depression, which, btw, does it seem like you might be in a mixed episode? Rather than Wellbutrin, perhaps you might consider asking your doctor about Lamictal for your depression, and also an atypical antipsychotic for topping off the mania and also helping with the depression. Any of them would do, but the side effect profile depends on what symptoms you're mainly struggling with. Like if you need something sedating, you might want to go with Zyprexa, Seroquel, Saphris, etc., but if you need something stimulating, Abilify, Rexulti, Vraylar, etc. But if you are looking for weight neutral and metabolically friendly, Abilify, Rexulti, Vraylar, and Geodon are probably going to be the best fit, and so on... I think you know what I mean by all that though.

Thanks for the advice man. Yeah he is definitely a class A asshole you could say. I’d put his name for people to see in rate md.com that at least half the people agree with me. I don’t need any more bullshit tho from the people in power though. It’s all people who have seen him for a stretch that agree. Others with limited exposure think he’s great. Like I once did 13 Year’s ago.

i agree with you I think I spent the last couple of months mixed. Now my gf who is also bipolar says I seem less manic and more stable since upping my dose. I just feel so low now.

interesting info on the lithium I didn’t know at various levels it acted in different ways.

ill definitely check out your other recommendations.

cheers

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Can your gp advocate in getting a pdoc to take on your care?  Usually they can set something up, or so I’ve experienced. I shake my head in amazement that they can refuse to help. So wrong, really. 

Edited by sugarsugar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, Chrisalt87 said:

Thanks for the advice man. Yeah he is definitely a class A asshole you could say. I’d put his name for people to see in rate md.com that at least half the people agree with me. I don’t need any more bullshit tho from the people in power though. It’s all people who have seen him for a stretch that agree. Others with limited exposure think he’s great. Like I once did 13 Year’s ago.

i agree with you I think I spent the last couple of months mixed. Now my gf who is also bipolar says I seem less manic and more stable since upping my dose. I just feel so low now.

interesting info on the lithium I didn’t know at various levels it acted in different ways.

ill definitely check out your other recommendations.

cheers

I'm glad I could be of help! I hope you never have to see him again...

Well, I'm no professional, but maybe you might just need something like Lamictal to add to the lithium or something like that for your bipolar depression. Perhaps you could ask your doctor and see what s/he thinks? I hope you get help with that... I know all too well how much that sucks.

What's weird is when I tried low-dose lithium (just 300 mg at bedtime), it made me much more depressed for some reason. It also gave me seizures, so that was a definite deal breaker.

Best of luck to you! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2018-04-15 at 2:40 PM, sugarsugar said:

Can your gp advocate in getting a pdoc to take on your care?  Usually they can set something up, or so I’ve experienced. I shake my head in amazement that they can refuse to help. So wrong, really. 

Yeah it’s really quite terrible. The pdocs have their ways of refusing care and keeping it legal somehow.  Tbh I think that if I did do something like commit suicide or hurt someone (not saying I’m going to do either) they would be liable on some level because they knew and some of the excellent intake/crisis workers had it all recorded on paper b4 I spoke with my former pdoc. The other hospital it was admitted to me by the Former one I was just talking in Toronto turns away patients not in the downtown core and are “out of the area” they don’t say this tho just do it.

my family doc has sent me to the ER with notes saying please admit him. Doesn’t do anything. Crazy I know. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, mikl_pls said:

I'm glad I could be of help! I hope you never have to see him again...

Well, I'm no professional, but maybe you might just need something like Lamictal to add to the lithium or something like that for your bipolar depression. Perhaps you could ask your doctor and see what s/he thinks? I hope you get help with that... I know all too well how much that sucks.

What's weird is when I tried low-dose lithium (just 300 mg at bedtime), it made me much more depressed for some reason. It also gave me seizures, so that was a definite deal breaker.

Best of luck to you! :)

Thanks man, yeah I’m never going face to face with that guy again. I doubt I could handle it appropriately. 

Ive Tried lamotrigine a couple times over the years and gone up really slow. Got the Rash every time.

i hear you about the lithium I find it kinda makes me depressed to at low doses. Everyone around me says at 1200 I seem a lot better. Starting to feel it. Maybe I found my med that will work with limited side effects.

have a good one 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Chrisalt87 said:

Thanks man, yeah I’m never going face to face with that guy again. I doubt I could handle it appropriately. 

Ive Tried lamotrigine a couple times over the years and gone up really slow. Got the Rash every time.

i hear you about the lithium I find it kinda makes me depressed to at low doses. Everyone around me says at 1200 I seem a lot better. Starting to feel it. Maybe I found my med that will work with limited side effects.

have a good one 

Oh no! I had no idea... I guess you can't take lamotrigine then... :( Unfortunately that's the only anticonvulsant moodstabilizer that has been the most studied for bipolar depression and subsequently consistently shown to help both treat and stabilize from below (for depression). There are other off-label options, though. For me, in my experience, I've had good luck with oxcarbazepine and topiramate (my current ones) helping me with both anxiety and depression as well as keeping me mostly stabilized (and not continually dipping in and out of depression as I tend to do). The only thing about the former is that it, too, has the potential for a rash, since it's related to carbamazepine, and the latter has major cognitive side effects (I'm actually going to see if I can get off of it when I see my neurologist next time...). Sorry if I'm mentioning stuff you've already taken. I know you must have tried a number of meds since your teens. If not the anticonvulsants, there's always the antypical antipsychotics, and as you mentioned, bupropion, which typically has a low incidence of switching to hypomania/mania.

Really? I guess I probably could've benefited from higher doses, but when the seizures started that kinda made it certain that it wasn't the right medicine for me. That and the rapid weight gain despite not changing what I was eating. Glad you are doing better at your current dose! Maybe and hopefully so! Man, if I had read your whole post before I went straight into typing, I wouldn't have typed a majority of that first paragraph, lol.

You too. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wellbutrin increased my blood pressure to scary levels. It's too bad because it worked wonders for me otherwise.

My lithium was added specifically to eliminate suicidality, which it did. It's frustrating that it's not doing the same for you. It's known to be pretty effective that way.

I'd echo a previous poster and try looking further out of your geographic area if you can.

Jennifer

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

I’m curious as to whether your old, crappy pdoc that is essentially keeping you from getting medical treatment....emergency psychiatric treatment no less....if he has had a complain filed against him in the past and/or disciplinary actions.   I don’t know how to find this info out, but it crossed my mind right away.

Can you explain your situation to your general doctor for a referral to a new pdoc?  There are pdoc who really do care.  You deserve to get treatment and have a pdoc that won’t judge you.  I mean, initial trust and a working relationship with your new pdoc is par for the course....but that can happen.  They just need to give you a break!

i have bipolar 1 with psychosis and rapid cycling, several anxiety disorders, and chronic pain.  I’m disabled, treatment-resistant but I’m in good pdoc care.  My point is I’m not an “easy case” but I like my pdoc.  

My boyfriend has bipolar 1wih psychosis and his mania is just wild....he unfortunately has to go IP every time and is on the “C ward” which is .... sort of hardcore as far as unpredictable behavior, etc.  

Anyway, he found a pdoc that took his insurance and met him....and he likes his...so decent pdocs are out there.

 I’m wondering if you need a pdoc that specializes in areas specific to,your needs.  And perhaps a newer pdoc?  Like, one that isn’t “O.G.” with the existing pdocs....mainly the nasty one who influences others in his profession.

i have been IP on several occasions and the longest was six months (crisis and then long term residential). But, yeah, I understand the legal standard the criteria, like you seem to.....it’s been laid out to me clearly by my pdoc.  Here is the threshold (per my pdoc) in my state (southern USA) and I have  never been turned away,  

-If you are imminent danger to yourself or others.  Suicidal or homicidal.  Suicidal IP is you’re having suicidal ideations (thinking about suicide) AND you have a PLAN.  Having a plan (and I suppose having access to complete the plan )....that’s the criteria right there.  

You are not safe on your own, you are an imminent danger to yourself for suicide.   Therefore, you need IP to get stabilized and be ina safe environment, receive crisis psychiatric care (med change, etc.).  Need to keep a close eye on you for your own safety.

-Another one, he told me:  You cannot take care of crucial daily things in your life because, for example....you’re extremely depressed (not necessarily suicidal, we are talking non-functioning).  You cannot take care of yourself, period.  

You aren’t keeping up with hygiene, you aren’t eating much at all because you have no appetite and are unable to cook (bedridden from depression or just don’t care).  You’re sleeping multiple hours a day, you’re typically “med compliant” but your schedule of when you take meds is thrown off.  You wake up, dehydrated and confused as to what to take when, etc.  You’re too anxious to leave the house to go pick up meds.  You can’t keep up with care of your home,  Etc.  My pdoc freaks over the hygiene for some reason.  (If they only knew how it can be for us, ugh lol).

That is a whole bunch of reasons and I’ve been checked in based on some of that criteria.  He told me I wasn’t able to take care of myself (and had no help) and therefore I needed IP.  And it helped a lot, the IP.  I was in a mixed bipolar episode (suicidal ideations but no plan)....but I needed to get away from daily demands and have meds dispensed, food prepared, etc.  Get back on a schedule and get an empathetic but directive “push” to shower, brush my hair, my teeth, etc.

^ Basically I told them at the ER my nonfunctional status and that it was a bipolar episode brought on by extreme ongoing stress. That I was basically on the verge of a “nervous breakdown” and could not function daily.  And MY pdoc said go to the ER.  Yes, suicide was in my thoughts but no plan, but I’m in bad shape,  and all that was true,

Im sorry because that was about my experiences ....but I have had a lot of them as to IP and that’s how it went, never an issue.  Couldn’t think of a better way to post than by example.

Each time, I had a friend or support person (but I had no one at home) TAKE me to the ER and confirm my status and, frankly, help me communicate because I tend to cry (quietly, but messy) and can’t express myself.  I’ve always arrived totally sober with my friend having helped me pack a bag and bring it in.   Intake has always been less than an hour.

In fact, I am in a mixed episode now and one of my meds just quit working after awhile.  My pdoc put me on Viibryd with titrating....that Viibryd was making my thoughts darker, severely.  The suicidal ideations were strong and vivid and I intellectually knew Imwanted to live....yet I wanted to die...the episode causing it.  

I have a regular appointment this week but I called him last Thursday and asked if I could go off it.  Explained how it was worse, etc.  So he agreed and adjustments made over the phone that day.  

However, he expressly told me right then that I had to go to the ER/IP if I was feeling worse over the weekend.  (And I do have a great 24/7 partner so great support, not alone, my pdoc has met him as he attends all my appointments and likes him).)  I didn’t get worse but they wouldn’t have turned me away, I wouldn’t think.  But I’m not going IP this time.  Thank goodness.

Only other IP separate example .... manic episode and no sleep four days.  Day three is when psychosis starts.  I start freaking out past three days, that’s our agreement when to call him.   So I called him Day 4 and he preadmitted me to a crisis Mood Unit Psych IP.....it was voluntary.  He said he liked the pdoc there and she could get me stabilized faster IP than he could.  

I hope you keep us posted.  You need an advocate....maybe someone else has more ideas.  But the above are my experiences and most were IP because actively suicidal...had the plan...I was not safe.  

Meds: Wellbutrin, Lithium and Abilify pulled me out of a suicidal depression years ago.  And other meds but you asked about those three.  

Take care.

Edited by rainyday107

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow I can not believe no one helped you even after saying those things! You'd think at least the cops would have jumped on you or something. Then you could've gone to hospital and gotten help you'd think right? Well I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time finding help. Is there a different town or city that you can maybe try to go to? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/14/2018 at 7:41 AM, Chrisalt87 said:

Long story shortish I saw a very well known psych doc from 16-23. He ended up discharging me. We were not a good fit from day one. I’m 30 now.

Last nov shortly after turning 30 I went into the psyche ward and requested any other pdoc, who shows up? Him. I thought ok I’ll give him another chance. Then one out patient appt later he asks me my symptoms. I started to answer the he says “I don’t care I don’t care” at that point I fired him as my pdoc . Why am I going to see someone who doesn’t care or let me answer a question he asks?

since then I’ve tried to get admitted 4 times to 3 different hospitals but since I fired him no one wants to touch me. A couple weeks ago I went into 2 different psychewards saying (one of which he practises at) saying “I’m suicidal I’m homicidal I’m a threat”  I’m gonna shoot up the place etc etc” my blood pressure was 202. They still would not admit me. I even said this infront of 2 cops.  I’m 6’2 200lbs tattoos everywhere including head and face. I’m a scary looking guy, i can admit this as I have my reasons why. Having said this I wouldn’t hurt anyone who didn’t come at me to hurt me. If they did Then they better kill me.

You’d think they have at least arrested me. 

I wish I was joking about any of this

Ok so my main point for this post is iam playing pdoc to myself along with scripts from my shocked family doctor. I have myself at 1200 mg lithium following my own blood work and the mania is semi gone but I feel like I’m just getting older and more tired to keep this fight up. I feel like suck starting a shotgun or lighting myself on fire in the street. 

Does lithium help with depression? I want an anti depressant but can’t handle the sex sides. Anyone have good experiences with adding Wellbutrin to a mood stabilizer?

sorry for the long post. Any advice appreciated.

OMG, What City/State are you in?? Just Curious... I'm the Kind that will show up Bitchin.... Exactly where I Need to....Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×