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Chrisalt87

Bi polar hell and been black listed by all area pdocs

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Posted (edited)

Long story shortish I saw a very well known psych doc from 16-23. He ended up discharging me. We were not a good fit from day one. I’m 30 now.

Last nov shortly after turning 30 I went into the psyche ward and requested any other pdoc, who shows up? Him. I thought ok I’ll give him another chance. Then one out patient appt later he asks me my symptoms. I started to answer the he says “I don’t care I don’t care” at that point I fired him as my pdoc . Why am I going to see someone who doesn’t care or let me answer a question he asks?

since then I’ve tried to get admitted 4 times to 3 different hospitals but since I fired him no one wants to touch me. A couple weeks ago I went into 2 different psychewards saying (one of which he practises at) saying “I’m suicidal I’m homicidal I’m a threat”  I’m gonna shoot up the place etc etc” my blood pressure was 202. They still would not admit me. I even said this infront of 2 cops.  I’m 6’2 200lbs tattoos everywhere including head and face. I’m a scary looking guy, i can admit this as I have my reasons why. Having said this I wouldn’t hurt anyone who didn’t come at me to hurt me. If they did Then they better kill me.

You’d think they have at least arrested me. 

I wish I was joking about any of this

Ok so my main point for this post is iam playing pdoc to myself along with scripts from my shocked family doctor. I have myself at 1200 mg lithium following my own blood work and the mania is semi gone but I feel like I’m just getting older and more tired to keep this fight up. I feel like suck starting a shotgun or lighting myself on fire in the street. 

Does lithium help with depression? I want an anti depressant but can’t handle the sex sides. Anyone have good experiences with adding Wellbutrin to a mood stabilizer?

sorry for the long post. Any advice appreciated.

Edited by Chrisalt87

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I think lithium does help a lot with depression, although usually it’s more well known for squashing mania. Considering the life changes I’ve had to go through lately, I’d say it’s kept me on a fairly even keel. 

Unfortunately, Wellbutrin turned me into a raging anxious bitch. It seems to be an either love or hate med. some people do very well on it. As always, YMMV, so it might be worth a shot. 

Are there any nearby cities that you could try, for another pdoc? Mine is in another city 30 minutes away, wish he was a lot closer, but that’s where he chose to relocate. Your situation sounds very sucky, sorry. Good luck. 

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what about telemedicine

www.amwell.com 

or 

www.doctorsondemand.com

 

they ahve pdocs you can see over your computer.......or even with your pdoc to collarborate........or if u need medicine that they cant prescribe via telemedicine your doctor can write it

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3 hours ago, Rabbit37 said:

I think lithium does help a lot with depression, although usually it’s more well known for squashing mania. Considering the life changes I’ve had to go through lately, I’d say it’s kept me on a fairly even keel. 

Unfortunately, Wellbutrin turned me into a raging anxious bitch. It seems to be an either love or hate med. some people do very well on it. As always, YMMV, so it might be worth a shot. 

Are there any nearby cities that you could try, for another pdoc? Mine is in another city 30 minutes away, wish he was a lot closer, but that’s where he chose to relocate. Your situation sounds very sucky, sorry. Good luck. 

Thanks for the advice on Wellbutrin I think I’d have the same results but replace bitch with complete asshole. I’ll have to think on that one.

 

2 hours ago, looking for answers said:

what about telemedicine

www.amwell.com 

or 

www.doctorsondemand.com

 

they ahve pdocs you can see over your computer.......or even with your pdoc to collarborate........or if u need medicine that they cant prescribe via telemedicine your doctor can write it

Interesting.. I’ve never heard of this service. Thank you I’ll look into it.

 

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20 minutes ago, Chrisalt87 said:

Thanks for the advice on Wellbutrin I think I’d have the same results but replace bitch with complete asshole. I’ll have to think on that one.

 

Interesting.. I’ve never heard of this service. Thank you I’ll look into it.

 

i know some on here have used it before

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I'm terribly sorry you're having such a hard time with getting treatment! That's awful! Sounds like that pdoc you were seeing is a class A throbbing asshole... For a doctor of any kind to say "I don't care" in response to a question they asked kind of suggests to me that either they have lost their way as to why they took that job in the first place, or maybe they don't know what to do or something..

6 hours ago, Chrisalt87 said:

Ok so my main point for this post is iam playing pdoc to myself along with scripts from my shocked family doctor. I have myself at 1200 mg lithium following my own blood work and the mania is semi gone but I feel like I’m just getting older and more tired to keep this fight up. I feel like suck starting a shotgun or lighting myself on fire in the street. 

Does lithium help with depression? I want an anti depressant but can’t handle the sex sides. Anyone have good experiences with adding Wellbutrin to a mood stabilizer?

I've been there myself... I had to do that while I was searching for a pdoc and also when I finally found my current one but had to wait for my intake session. You may need a whole cocktail of meds to deal with your symptoms, it sounds like... I can't say for sure what you would need since I'm not a pdoc, but I can make suggestions from my experience based on what you've said. I'm really sorry you're feeling suicidal. I hope you don't act on those feelings.

For most people, from what my pdoc told me, lithium at low blood levels tends to act more like an antidepressant, while at higher blood levels it acts like an anti-manic. Since your mania is still present, you may need more lithium, but you don't want to overdo it on the lithium because you can damage your kidneys and thyroid.

I knew someone on another website similar to this one that went down who was on a combination of Wellbutrin and lithium for depression who did quite well, actually. He was on it for bipolar depression, though, not mania and depression, which, btw, does it seem like you might be in a mixed episode? Rather than Wellbutrin, perhaps you might consider asking your doctor about Lamictal for your depression, and also an atypical antipsychotic for topping off the mania and also helping with the depression. Any of them would do, but the side effect profile depends on what symptoms you're mainly struggling with. Like if you need something sedating, you might want to go with Zyprexa, Seroquel, Saphris, etc., but if you need something stimulating, Abilify, Rexulti, Vraylar, etc. But if you are looking for weight neutral and metabolically friendly, Abilify, Rexulti, Vraylar, and Geodon are probably going to be the best fit, and so on... I think you know what I mean by all that though.

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18 hours ago, mikl_pls said:

I'm terribly sorry you're having such a hard time with getting treatment! That's awful! Sounds like that pdoc you were seeing is a class A throbbing asshole... For a doctor of any kind to say "I don't care" in response to a question they asked kind of suggests to me that either they have lost their way as to why they took that job in the first place, or maybe they don't know what to do or something..

I've been there myself... I had to do that while I was searching for a pdoc and also when I finally found my current one but had to wait for my intake session. You may need a whole cocktail of meds to deal with your symptoms, it sounds like... I can't say for sure what you would need since I'm not a pdoc, but I can make suggestions from my experience based on what you've said. I'm really sorry you're feeling suicidal. I hope you don't act on those feelings.

For most people, from what my pdoc told me, lithium at low blood levels tends to act more like an antidepressant, while at higher blood levels it acts like an anti-manic. Since your mania is still present, you may need more lithium, but you don't want to overdo it on the lithium because you can damage your kidneys and thyroid.

I knew someone on another website similar to this one that went down who was on a combination of Wellbutrin and lithium for depression who did quite well, actually. He was on it for bipolar depression, though, not mania and depression, which, btw, does it seem like you might be in a mixed episode? Rather than Wellbutrin, perhaps you might consider asking your doctor about Lamictal for your depression, and also an atypical antipsychotic for topping off the mania and also helping with the depression. Any of them would do, but the side effect profile depends on what symptoms you're mainly struggling with. Like if you need something sedating, you might want to go with Zyprexa, Seroquel, Saphris, etc., but if you need something stimulating, Abilify, Rexulti, Vraylar, etc. But if you are looking for weight neutral and metabolically friendly, Abilify, Rexulti, Vraylar, and Geodon are probably going to be the best fit, and so on... I think you know what I mean by all that though.

Thanks for the advice man. Yeah he is definitely a class A asshole you could say. I’d put his name for people to see in rate md.com that at least half the people agree with me. I don’t need any more bullshit tho from the people in power though. It’s all people who have seen him for a stretch that agree. Others with limited exposure think he’s great. Like I once did 13 Year’s ago.

i agree with you I think I spent the last couple of months mixed. Now my gf who is also bipolar says I seem less manic and more stable since upping my dose. I just feel so low now.

interesting info on the lithium I didn’t know at various levels it acted in different ways.

ill definitely check out your other recommendations.

cheers

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Posted (edited)

Can your gp advocate in getting a pdoc to take on your care?  Usually they can set something up, or so I’ve experienced. I shake my head in amazement that they can refuse to help. So wrong, really. 

Edited by sugarsugar

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17 hours ago, Chrisalt87 said:

Thanks for the advice man. Yeah he is definitely a class A asshole you could say. I’d put his name for people to see in rate md.com that at least half the people agree with me. I don’t need any more bullshit tho from the people in power though. It’s all people who have seen him for a stretch that agree. Others with limited exposure think he’s great. Like I once did 13 Year’s ago.

i agree with you I think I spent the last couple of months mixed. Now my gf who is also bipolar says I seem less manic and more stable since upping my dose. I just feel so low now.

interesting info on the lithium I didn’t know at various levels it acted in different ways.

ill definitely check out your other recommendations.

cheers

I'm glad I could be of help! I hope you never have to see him again...

Well, I'm no professional, but maybe you might just need something like Lamictal to add to the lithium or something like that for your bipolar depression. Perhaps you could ask your doctor and see what s/he thinks? I hope you get help with that... I know all too well how much that sucks.

What's weird is when I tried low-dose lithium (just 300 mg at bedtime), it made me much more depressed for some reason. It also gave me seizures, so that was a definite deal breaker.

Best of luck to you! :)

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On 2018-04-15 at 2:40 PM, sugarsugar said:

Can your gp advocate in getting a pdoc to take on your care?  Usually they can set something up, or so I’ve experienced. I shake my head in amazement that they can refuse to help. So wrong, really. 

Yeah it’s really quite terrible. The pdocs have their ways of refusing care and keeping it legal somehow.  Tbh I think that if I did do something like commit suicide or hurt someone (not saying I’m going to do either) they would be liable on some level because they knew and some of the excellent intake/crisis workers had it all recorded on paper b4 I spoke with my former pdoc. The other hospital it was admitted to me by the Former one I was just talking in Toronto turns away patients not in the downtown core and are “out of the area” they don’t say this tho just do it.

my family doc has sent me to the ER with notes saying please admit him. Doesn’t do anything. Crazy I know. 

 

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14 hours ago, mikl_pls said:

I'm glad I could be of help! I hope you never have to see him again...

Well, I'm no professional, but maybe you might just need something like Lamictal to add to the lithium or something like that for your bipolar depression. Perhaps you could ask your doctor and see what s/he thinks? I hope you get help with that... I know all too well how much that sucks.

What's weird is when I tried low-dose lithium (just 300 mg at bedtime), it made me much more depressed for some reason. It also gave me seizures, so that was a definite deal breaker.

Best of luck to you! :)

Thanks man, yeah I’m never going face to face with that guy again. I doubt I could handle it appropriately. 

Ive Tried lamotrigine a couple times over the years and gone up really slow. Got the Rash every time.

i hear you about the lithium I find it kinda makes me depressed to at low doses. Everyone around me says at 1200 I seem a lot better. Starting to feel it. Maybe I found my med that will work with limited side effects.

have a good one 

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3 hours ago, Chrisalt87 said:

Thanks man, yeah I’m never going face to face with that guy again. I doubt I could handle it appropriately. 

Ive Tried lamotrigine a couple times over the years and gone up really slow. Got the Rash every time.

i hear you about the lithium I find it kinda makes me depressed to at low doses. Everyone around me says at 1200 I seem a lot better. Starting to feel it. Maybe I found my med that will work with limited side effects.

have a good one 

Oh no! I had no idea... I guess you can't take lamotrigine then... :( Unfortunately that's the only anticonvulsant moodstabilizer that has been the most studied for bipolar depression and subsequently consistently shown to help both treat and stabilize from below (for depression). There are other off-label options, though. For me, in my experience, I've had good luck with oxcarbazepine and topiramate (my current ones) helping me with both anxiety and depression as well as keeping me mostly stabilized (and not continually dipping in and out of depression as I tend to do). The only thing about the former is that it, too, has the potential for a rash, since it's related to carbamazepine, and the latter has major cognitive side effects (I'm actually going to see if I can get off of it when I see my neurologist next time...). Sorry if I'm mentioning stuff you've already taken. I know you must have tried a number of meds since your teens. If not the anticonvulsants, there's always the antypical antipsychotics, and as you mentioned, bupropion, which typically has a low incidence of switching to hypomania/mania.

Really? I guess I probably could've benefited from higher doses, but when the seizures started that kinda made it certain that it wasn't the right medicine for me. That and the rapid weight gain despite not changing what I was eating. Glad you are doing better at your current dose! Maybe and hopefully so! Man, if I had read your whole post before I went straight into typing, I wouldn't have typed a majority of that first paragraph, lol.

You too. :)

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Wellbutrin increased my blood pressure to scary levels. It's too bad because it worked wonders for me otherwise.

My lithium was added specifically to eliminate suicidality, which it did. It's frustrating that it's not doing the same for you. It's known to be pretty effective that way.

I'd echo a previous poster and try looking further out of your geographic area if you can.

Jennifer

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