I just re-instated Ritalin (after about a 3-month break) My pdoc said I could "play" with the dosage a bit, because I was previously on a low dose (20mg extended morning, sometimes added 10mgIR afternoons). Problem is, coverage is very inconsistent. I've started loads of focus-intensive work/required research/reading projects, and I really depend on it more to function in this role.
I'm getting really varied effects from it...not sure what to do. It helps me focus on detailed tasks - and I start out feeling no appetite/nauseous (which is normal effect, I always eat decent breakfast like oats/yogurt/water, about 40 minutes after taking it), but then I'm starving like 3 hours later, and really physically tired fairly quickly (on extended dose)...I took a 10mgIR dose (after eating lunch, feeling physically tired) and I can still mentally focus fine, but still feel very tired, like I need to lay down and I'm still abnormally hungry!! Is it simply not working as it should, or am I metabolising too fast?
I'm not sure how to adjust my dosage or what works best for you guys? Really bummed out, I need this to work. I don't want to be popping it like candy all day!
Since starting Wellbutrin last august i have felt fairly stable as far as my depression goes. I have felt normal and sometimes almost upbeat in a way that did not slip into euphoria. I started taking Ritalin last year or this year due to insurance issues with my nuvigil for narcolepsy. I also had a......traumatic?? life experience where I learned that my husband had cheated on me and may have gotten this girl knocked up. We are trying to work things out, and I've been dealing, but it is hard. It constantly plays through my mind. She is always between us. That had a big triggering effect on me. Since then, back in April, I have been utilizing my support group and working on building myself back up and redefining my reality. It is a lot of work, but I have managed and I am learning to deal with it better.
Lately though, I have felt my anxiety crawling up. I have also been super emotional. Crying for no obvious reason (in that moment, i will be fine and then something as minor as a sigh can trigger tears). I am aware that wellbutrin can cause issues with anxiety. Mine has always been very high though. Can anxiety cause you to cry like depression does? I'm not saying I'm not depressed right now....Just...I don't even know what I am trying to say or ask. I can't think. My thoughts are so disorganized right now. I did have two cups of coffee this morning..
One day I'll be perfectly fine and stable. The next day I may be overly emotional. The next day I may be good again. The next,awful or bad. I started keeping a mood chart about a month ago and it looks like an active seismograph! From day to day I cannot say how I might feel. To my knowledge I have not been diagnosed with rapid cycling anything, but my pdoc is still getting to know me. I was already medicated when I started seeing him with tweaks here and there.
I've also learned I do not deal well with change. My husband started a new job and works as a mechanic during the day and a tow truck driver on nights and weekends so it feels like he is always gone. It going to take a lot of adjustment and I have not been handling it well.
I've spent the last year applying for jobs and I cannot get hired anywhere. Part of me is thankful because I"m not sure how I would handle working around people, but a part of me is highly disappointed because I want to work. It feels so controversial. I do not want to just bum around and be completely dependent on anyone, but at the same time I am TERRIFIED of getting into the workforce again. I haven't worked in years because I have been home caring for children. Now, they are all in school and I worry, if I find a job then who will be home with them when they are sick? Who will take them to appointments? Things like that. What if I get a job and I can't control my emotions? I break down or have a very irritable day/s? I stay irritable. I always have. I can fake the happy personality, but I won't excel at my job doing that I don't think. I learn slow. I would once again have to adjust to something new. I avoid watching most tv, and listening to a lot of music as well as being around most people because I'm worried I'll be triggered into one emotion or another and not be able to pull myself out of it.
People have asked me more than once why have I not applied for SSI?
It seems so final I guess. I guess I'm worried that there will be no turning back if I do that. What else am I going to do though? I'm not doing anything currently except for being a money pit. I need to do something to help our household. I feel...what is the word...inept? useless? I'm not sure. I do not even know if my symptoms are uncontrolled enough to qualify if that is a thing. Do you have to be constantly uncontrolled to qualify?
I am sorry the post was so long. I apologize again for being all over the place. I needed to get all of that out, but I had no idea how.
I tell everyone that "I am fine." /sigh
Does anyone have strong heart pounding sensations from meds? It does not feel like it's racing, just beating really strong sometimes, I notice at bedtime. I wonder if its the combo of Ritalin + Effexor? I've been taking a 2nd Ritalin in the afternoons. I usually have low blood pressure, but wondering if meds can really change that as well?
My parents both had heart attacks quite young (50's) If I get an EKG is that really enough to assess that my heart is perfectly fine? Are there other tests to get? I heard that an EKG cannot always predict that you have a heart condition. It did not predict my mothers problems - her EKG never detected anything wrong, yet she would experience missing heart beats and/or tachardia sometimes during the night.
My pdoc was hesitant to put me on a moderate/high dose of a stimulant because he knows they've made me manic before, so he put me on 5 mg of Dex 2x a day. I went online to all of those drug forums (first things that popped up in the google search) and the people there basically said that 5 mg isn't worth anything and won't do a thing.
However, I took 10 mg in the early afternoon and I'm still wide awake at almost 12:30 so maybe they're wrong? (I took 10 mg because I have to cut the 10 mg pills and I didn't know where the pill cutter was at the time.. long story. From now on I'm only taking 5 mg at a time, found the pill cutter--) 10 mg feels very powerful whereas the people on those websites said it might make you feel mildly high or something. I feel more than mildly high-- I feel euphoric and highly energized.
So is 5 mg a worthwhile dosage after all? If 10 mg keeps me awake long into the night, surely 5 mg will do SOMETHING, right?
A main symptom of my depression is this debilitating inertia, lack of pleasure/reward and total boredom. It's like the feedback mechanism that motivates me into action & rewards me for taking action in pleasurable activities is completely broken...
Despite this lack of reward/pleasure, I do take tons of action as far as forcing myself to exercise 3-4 days per week, eat right, socialize weekly, try creative projects, all kinds of new/different things incl volunteering to engage or distract myself, but I am fighting tooth & nail, ready to give up because I am always crazy bored and i'd rather just lay in bed or waste time online being unproductive (which in turn makes depression more severe). I feel useless and lazy. All of these positive things do not matter, I still feel the same and I'm afraid this will never change.
Is there any OTHER solution other that stimulants or dopamine-type meds for this issue? Have stims cured this problem for you? I am afraid to get completely hooked on them. i don't even know if I really have ADD - or whether this issue is an ADD thing?? I know I quickly build tolerance to stimulants, they will stop working & then my reward system will be even more screwed for life never to return! Anyone have any feedback/thoughts around this topic?