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bygonebebygone

weird syndrome med needed and hopefully tell me if u know what it might be

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i'm 27/m

i wish someone could read my symptoms and suggest meds for me
Symptoms began around age 13-15
. grew up a bit scared as parents fought a lot
. becoming extremely obsessed with computer, irritated and angry if not allowed
. social withdrawal due to extreme bullying at school
. severe slurred speech for two years developed, often trouble understanding what others were saying for moments of time "transient aphasia?"
. hypersexual behaviour
. severe insomnia
since 16:
. quit school due to bullying, severe weeping episodes and depressed, fantasizing about things I didn't have like friends
. often music i heard and liked would play in my mind constantly for long periods, but in a very sad depressed sounding tone
. senses were amplified, if someone touched my toe, it would flare up intense anger, if i heard something even mild, it would startle
. minor irritations would strike me so intensely i would shout abusive words, hitting people even (slamming door shut on my mothers hand if she dropped the towel while giving it to me in anger)
. stayed alone in my room out of extreme hostility and anger and depression at others, and minor things made me rage
. i would have episodes of darkness and rage where i would feel like i was in darkness depressed and out of anger at minor irritations and provocations verbally lash out and shatter glass objects and slamming things on the floor going from this room to that room
. first rages were less frequent, became more frequent as years went by
. medicated on risperidone, soothed rage and helped withdrawal, but made me behave abnormally childishly singing all the time and irritating my mother all the time by flapping finger on her cheek and laughing loudly when she became angry. severe constipation and neck muscle spasms, tried other antipsychotics with most if not all failing to work and ending back on risperidone which today works not as well and needs maximum dose
since 18
. often had spells of uncontrollable laughter at minor funny things, even had these when i was a teenager
. always thinking too much, and weepy too
since 24
. quit medication, had extreme episodes of irritability, hallucinations of music, amplified senses, extreme rage attacks broke almost  everything i had, this time also shouted obsceneties mania like for hours and hours on end at all neighbours for days and days, was hospitalized
. always had rising sort of feeling in my stomach coming from soul accompanied by extreme uncontrollable euphoric hypersexual feelings 
. the only visual hallucination i have had is once when i was 21 when i was in the bathroom, i saw golden flashes of light coming down from the ceiling and when i turned around and looked at the wall, i saw a extremely small face on the wall but that's normal but the face was that of somone i know and it was extremely vivid and real and it's mouth was moving as though speaking though there was no sound and the face was so small it was the size of tip of one's finger
. am a greek orthodox Christian and these hypersexual feelings i still get even when on some antipsychotics and disturb me greatly
.......
i get racing sort of thoughts that i can't slow down and tension that won't soothe
i get continuous music playing in my mind that i realize is a disease and a nuisance though the content of the music is pleasant, it hurts my head that it plays constantly in my thoughts
i get heightened senses that i cant stand minor sounds and when there are "major" stimulus, like hearing a drunkard saying abusive things on roadside, i get explosive anger that i want to break out in explosive screaming and shout and shout and shout (which i have done before) and even urge to hit someone
i'm not sure whether this disease is neurological or psychiatric, someone once suggested to me temporal lobe disease but more than one psychiatrist says schizophrenia though i find that hard to believe given my symptoms and what i have read and i wish there were treatment for this disease alternative to antipsychotics. 
currently on - valproate 1g, risperidone 7-8mg, works mostly but side effects are so much i want to get off. i tried carbamazepine no effect, lamotrigine made me paradoxically depressed, topiramate i won't take as it has too many side effects. i also tried inderal long action upto 80mg to 120mg, bystolic and hytrin also not much effect. pregabalin and gabapentin gave me insomnia and increased the manic like rage. clonazepam did not work after two months.
does anyone recognize these symptoms and can recommend something? thanks
 

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Does your prescribing Doctor have a diagnosis in mind? Because there are a ton of "tranquilizers" but it's probably not a good idea to just start throwing them at you

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2 minutes ago, Iceberg said:

Does your prescribing Doctor have a diagnosis in mind? Because there are a ton of "tranquilizers" but it's probably not a good idea to just start throwing them at you

that's the thing, i've been on many of atypical "major" tranquilizers except for risperidone they were without much effect. up till now we have been going under the assumption of sz or szaffective but i feel something is off about my symptoms. if it is schizo i don't mind too much, but i believe isn't this type of anger and musical and sensory problems a bit neurological maybe even some kind of unrecognisable epilepsy the musical symptoms and the miniature hallucination seems off? i feel if i can know and i have been and even still will go to doctors and seek out opinion because there might be alternative treatment options than the major tranquilizers.

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Have you ever consulted a neurologist to be tested for seizure activity? 

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1 minute ago, Iceberg said:

Have you ever consulted a neurologist to be tested for seizure activity? 

i have had two surface EEG of ten minutes before but negative. I asked for qEEG w/ evoked potentials and video EEG methods but the only neurologist i once consulted didn't think they would find anything so did not follow through. this time i don't want to go without homework of what my symptoms do tell because most doctors here in india dont do anything contradicting patients history without strong reason to convince them and i think it is up to me to convince them lol hard to get them to listen

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What antipsychotics have u tried? ( idk what's available where you live) 

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i've tried olanzapine, quetiapine, amisulpride low and high dose, iloperidone, aripiprazole, lurasidone, asenapine, loxapine, haloperidol, trifluoperazine (this sucked so much at 20mg, gave me bad obsessions like perverse thoughts), flupentixol, blonanserin, among others

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But if you've tried all those aps and nothing worked maybe you need a different angle. Idk what that would be but

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i hope if someone can help further especially what exactly do my symptoms indicate, i would be grateful

also, i beg, if anyone cannot help here, but do know of any other place that also might be able to help such as this crazyboards, they please tell me. thanks.

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51 minutes ago, bygonebebygone said:

i hope if someone can help further especially what exactly do my symptoms indicate, i would be grateful

also, i beg, if anyone cannot help here, but do know of any other place that also might be able to help such as this crazyboards, they please tell me. thanks.

I understand how frustrating it must be to be suffering and not being able to get satisfactory answers from the professionals. However, we are not qualified to diagnose you here. You have listed symptoms that could be several disorders and some symptoms not of any DSM disorder. You really need professional help, and I understand that the professionals where you are located don't want to change your diagnosis or think outside the box. I'm sorry about that and that would frustrate anyone.

If it were me, I would work on treating the symptoms successfully and not worry too much about the diagnosis. If the Risperdal helps, then that already is a big positive. I understand you have side effects from it, but honestly, all meds have side effects.  You have to hope that the benefit you get from taking the med outweighs the side effects.

Good luck.

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Posted (edited)

Agree with JT. Symptoms are all over the place and could be a number of things. Treat the symptoms and go from there.

Not a doc, but if I were to guess, along with Dr google,  some flavor of bipolarity.

Lithium a possibility? You are already on valproate, supposedly lithium synergizes well with it or at least doesn't make things worse. Could be worth a shot

https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/714718

Not exactly an unbiased study but I believe that article is referencing this one

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(09)61828-6/fulltext

Here's one more as the above article is somewhat inconclusive

https://www.karger.com/Article/Pdf/68020

Edited by argh
Now with more link

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