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My mood is stable - my lithium levels are perfect the pdoc said, and I've always responded well to lithium. But my anxiety is off the charts and I've been taking more benzos than I was prescribed.... so then I don't have any for a period of time until the next refill. My problem is that I've always had a high tolerance to well, just about anything-- booze, drugs, pills. Should I tell my pdoc what I've been doing? I know I'm not abusing them to get high, I'm abusing them to stop the anxiety for a few hours, but at my last appointment he said if my anxiety doesn't get better he might add another medication, which he doesn't really want to do. I'm afraid that if I tell him I've been taking more than prescribed he will stop prescribing me benzos and they're the only thing that helps with my anxiety. I can't take SSRI's; they sometimes make me suicidal, sometimes manicky, Buspar made me rage, Gabapentin did nothing. I'm just not sure what to do. Preferably I would like to be off of the benzos altogether but it's amazing how quick doctors will give you Xanax or Ativan if you have a bipolar diagnosis. Should I just try to take only the prescribed dosage with my next refill? I know I can; it's just hard when it barely takes the edge of my anxiety. 

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Ok. This is the one thing that I would not be completely honest about with my pdoc. He/she could stop all benzos and label you an abuser. I would say, however, that you are still suffering from anxiety and that it is intolerable.

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Just now, jt07 said:

Ok. This is the one thing that I would not be completely honest about with my pdoc. He/she could stop all benzos and label you an abuser. I would say, however, that you are still suffering from anxiety and that it is intolerable.

Yeah, I try to be completely honest with him but the anxiety has been so bad that I don't know if I could function without the benzos. I don't know what other medication he would try... don't they usually use SSRI's for anxiety? The last time I was on an SSRI I went hypomanic and they stopped it. Buspar, nope, Gabapentin, nope. I don't know what else he would try.  

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You want to be careful that you don't get habituated to high doses of benzos and develop a tolerance to them that only massive doses would offset. Then he would know for sure that you have been abusing. You should make an appointment with your pdoc ASAP and work out with him a plan to deal with your anxiety. I'm sure he can come up with something. Some people have had success with very low dose typical antipsychotics such as Stelazine or Trilafon.

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2 minutes ago, jt07 said:

You want to be careful that you don't get habituated to high doses of benzos and develop a tolerance to them that only massive doses would offset. Then he would know for sure that you have been abusing. You should make an appointment with your pdoc ASAP and work out with him a plan to deal with your anxiety. I'm sure he can come up with something. Some people have had success with very low dose typical antipsychotics such as Stelazine or Trilafon.

I was thinking of antipsychotics but I'm already on Latuda and Seroquel. I know Seroquel works for anxiety for some but it's never done a thing for me; it doesn't even make me tired. I wish I could go off of it honestly, I prefer less medication to more. 

I see my pdoc in three weeks... not sure if I can hold out that long with this anxiety. I may see him sooner. Thanks for your advice. 

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I would just say that your current dosage isn't working and it's leading to very severe symptoms that are causing you severe distress and you feel you need to deal with it as quick as possible. There are still a few options left so I think you should at least see what he has in mind

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I also was in the mind frame of less meds. I was wondering if you and your doc have talked about different skills that would help you manage your symptoms without the use of benzos. Approaching it with a mind set that you are willing to try coping mechanisms that can be done with a therapeutic dose or with no med at all. 

I'm not talking about the current meds just the benzo. It would be a small victory to be able to have your benzo script through to the next refill. I would not just tell your doc that you have been pounding the benzos, I would say something like, 'I am still having anxiety and would like to try DBT skills or some other coping mechanisms, can you research this with me?'

 

 

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38 minutes ago, Igobihim said:

I also was in the mind frame of less meds. I was wondering if you and your doc have talked about different skills that would help you manage your symptoms without the use of benzos. Approaching it with a mind set that you are willing to try coping mechanisms that can be done with a therapeutic dose or with no med at all. 

I'm not talking about the current meds just the benzo. It would be a small victory to be able to have your benzo script through to the next refill. I would not just tell your doc that you have been pounding the benzos, I would say something like, 'I am still having anxiety and would like to try DBT skills or some other coping mechanisms, can you research this with me?'

 

 

I did a partial hospitalization program where the main therapy used was DBT and it really helped me. Since it ended I haven't gone back to my binder because I'm afraid I'm not smart enough to work through the skills on my own... but I need to get back into it. Sometimes I wonder if my 'manias' have just all been the side effects of drugs and I'm really BPD. I know SSRI's and some antipsychotics are activating to more than just BP people. It doesn't explain the extended psychosis I've had, though.... but I guess here is not the place for this ramble.

It just sucks because taking some pills when you're anxious is easy and I found some of the DBT stuff challenging. But ideally I would like to be off the benzos. I don't know where this anxiety has come from. 

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11 hours ago, saoirse said:
11 hours ago, Igobihim said:

 

I did a partial hospitalization program where the main therapy used was DBT and it really helped me. Since it ended I haven't gone back to my binder because I'm afraid I'm not smart enough to work through the skills on my own

I had a outpatient program that I attended for a year. One of the groups I went through was DBT based, I have a binder full of it. I sometimes look at it to remind me how to do certain skills or the details of 'radical acceptance' or some other coping mechanism. 

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