Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Megalomaniacal

Does anyone feel like killing someone?

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

I do constantly but I’m not going to to go into any further detail. Does anyone else feel this way? I don’t tell my counselor about this to avoid being sent back to a psychiatric institution which only makes me 1000x worse and I even tried to kill myself the first time I was committed. I want to make sure that I never go back. I would rather die than go back. I’ve made many desperate cries for help like this in the past. I can’t do anything in life. I hate my life. I want to fucking die.

Edited by Megalomaniacal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
18 minutes ago, Iceberg said:

Do you have a full time prescribing doc? 

I just received a shot of some invega the other day I just got 10x worse. I want to kill myself. I want to cut my head off with a chainsaw. I just broke a lawn chair. I’ve been screaming. I have no one to talk to. No one likes me. Not even my own family. They won’t talk to me because they don’t care. I have no friends and I’m going to die alone.

Edited by Megalomaniacal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, looking for answers said:

I think you need to call your doctor asap as an emergency or get to the er to get some help. I know you dont wanna go back, but you really need to see someone.

I agree 100%.... @Megalomaniacal, you need immediate help, either from your pdoc or hospital ER.......No one here wants you to hurt yourself, or hurt someone else......

Edited by CrazyRedhead

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
49 minutes ago, CrazyRedhead said:

I agree 100%.... @Megalomaniacal, you need immediate help, either from your pdoc or hospital ER.......No one here wants you to hurt yourself, or hurt someone else......

I also agree. You need help. If the hospital is not helping you and making you worse, tell them. Don't just keep quiet so as to go home early. Use the hospital to get the help you need. And always keep in mind that the hospital is much, much, much better than prison.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ditto.  You probably know this, but in case not--homicidal ideation is a symptom, just like the other symptoms.  It's something that can go away with treatment.  You don't have to put up with it, but you might have to put up with a hospital stay to keep yourself and others safe.  Hospitals suck, I know...but safety and freedom are worth putting up with them for. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No. I can understand the anger you might feel against a world which you can't fit into but I'd kill myself first before hurting anyone else. Which isn't a recommendation. And since you've posted about it here then you must know that it's not a good thing to do. Your desperate cries for help should've been listened to by someone, and violence will get people's attention but not the sort of attention you want or need. A hug is better than punching someone in the face isn't it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Fluent In Silence said:

No. I can understand the anger you might feel against a world which you can't fit into but I'd kill myself first before hurting anyone else. Which isn't a recommendation. And since you've posted about it here then you must know that it's not a good thing to do. Your desperate cries for help should've been listened to by someone, and violence will get people's attention but not the sort of attention you want or need. A hug is better than punching someone in the face isn't it?

Thank you and others for your concerns. I woke up and still felt depressed. I can’t find any happiness in my life. I’ll forever be without friends. All I want is just a friend. Someone I can talk to. Someone I can speak to when I feel down. I don’t have any emotional support, I just stay alone all day with no one. I wasted away my teenage years with depression, hospitalizations, conflict, bullying and all kinds of horrible stuff. Those years in my life I’ll never get back. I’ve never had a girlfriend. And honestly, I just want someone so I won’t be alone. But I always am. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, Megalomaniacal said:

Thank you and others for your concerns. I woke up and still felt depressed. I can’t find any happiness in my life. I’ll forever be without friends. All I want is just a friend. Someone I can talk to. Someone I can speak to when I feel down. I don’t have any emotional support, I just stay alone all day with no one. I wasted away my teenage years with depression, hospitalizations, conflict, bullying and all kinds of horrible stuff. Those years in my life I’ll never get back. I’ve never had a girlfriend. And honestly, I just want someone so I won’t be alone. But I always am. 

Well for now welcome to crazyboards and we can provide some friendship and support

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, Megalomaniacal said:

Thank you and others for your concerns. I woke up and still felt depressed. I can’t find any happiness in my life. I’ll forever be without friends. All I want is just a friend. Someone I can talk to. Someone I can speak to when I feel down. I don’t have any emotional support, I just stay alone all day with no one. I wasted away my teenage years with depression, hospitalizations, conflict, bullying and all kinds of horrible stuff. Those years in my life I’ll never get back. I’ve never had a girlfriend. And honestly, I just want someone so I won’t be alone. But I always am. 

Life is short, but not that short. You will develop friends and you will meet that special someone. You just have to treat your illness first. It might sound cliche, but things can and do get better. You won't always feel this way. I have treatment-resistant depression. Take a look at my cocktail listed in my signature. It takes that many meds to make me stable, and I am doing quite well on it. I did not discover this cocktail overnight. It took a hospitalization and a lot of trial and error to get things right, but it was worth it and now I feel pretty good. My only regret, as you said, are the years I lost to the disease.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, jt07 said:

Life is short, but not that short. You will develop friends and you will meet that special someone. You just have to treat your illness first. It might sound cliche, but things can and do get better. You won't always feel this way. I have treatment-resistant depression. Take a look at my cocktail listed in my signature. It takes that many meds to make me stable, and I am doing quite well on it. I did not discover this cocktail overnight. It took a hospitalization and a lot of trial and error to get things right, but it was worth it and now I feel pretty good. My only regret, as you said, are the years I lost to the disease.

i agree here. it took a while but im seeing light, and im on a lot of meds, probably more than i need, but after alot of battling, im starting to be happy........ive lost time, but thats what makes me, me. things can get better

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dude you are not alone, and you are loved.  Your mind is being fucked with, if you think enough about it you will see who is doing it.  Stop torturing yourself, this is not how you were created to live. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, gb84 said:

Dude you are not alone, and you are loved.  Your mind is being fucked with, if you think enough about it you will see who is doing it.  Stop torturing yourself, this is not how you were created to live. 

 

Thank you. I have bad anxiety too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So do I.. The only way to beat it, is to fight it with everything you have.. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×