So I was manic for 8 weeks. I am now severely depressed and my pdoc took me of fluoxetine when i was manic, but now she has put me back on fluoxetine 20 mg. I'm worried I will become manic again. I had a very bad manic episode this time and don't want a reccurance.
If you became manic on an antidepressant how long did it take for you to become manic. Was it gradual or sudden? I wonder could I recognize symptoms quickly and go off it.
Hi. Years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar II but after 6-7 years of messing with med cocktails I'm seriously wondering if I'm not just depressed and that's that.
I've never had mania. Never had a "high". I definitely get depressed- and sometimes, when not medicated, I can get extremely irritable.
My psychiatrist says that the irritability is my version of "mania" but I've never seen anyone else describe going through this or having this kind of bipolar. I've never seen this listed as the symptoms of bipolar anywhere. I don't fit the criteria of bipolar II that I've seen written anywhere. I just can't relate to anything I've read.
Also, when I get depressed, it's accompanied by sheer panic. Not flat-out panic attacks but just feelings of dread and fear. I become convinced I'm going to lose my job, lose my house, etc. Things at work haven't been perfect but the level of fear I experience is completely out of proportion to the situation and it feels "chemical". I also feel like someone is sitting on my chest... I feel it in my chest and shoulders. It's bizarre.
Can anyone relate to any of this?
Ok, so you guys know me by now. Hard to treat. Bipolar 2 rapid cycling psychosis triggered by wrong meds or a bad cycle. Breakthrough mixed episodes on meds. Can’t take any antidepressants at all.
so, what you don’t know is when I was a kid I found out I was blind in one eye and had exotropia. Fancy word for lazy or cross eye. I had surgery to fix it but when the MRI’s were done back in the 90’s my opthomalogist found I had an arachnoid cyst on one of my temporal lobes and an optic nerve disease. I always thought the cyst was on the left side because that’s the eye that has the optic nerve disease and the one I can’t see out of.
fast forward to now:
my mom kept everything from back then, and my psychiatrist knows I have an arachnoid cyst. He’s also a neuropsychologist so I think he can order an MRI. I asked mom to try to find the mri film so I can bring it to my pdoc. She did. I have read NIH studies on people with arachnoid cysts and bipolar or psychosis that are hard to treat. It always said left temporal lobe. I don’t know why but I’m my mind I kept thinking no, it’s on the right. Even though I felt like it should be on the left somewhere in time, I started thinking right.
i like to draw, so I have a light box. So, I just turned it on, pulled out the film, looked at it and even though it’s small I swear the cyst is on my left temporal lobe and not my right. I started crying.
there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s small, and it would be ridiculous to operate and I think only one surgeon will drain them in the country. The point is, I feel like I understand a little more why I’m so hard to treat and this helps me accept myself more. It’s something I was born with. If it caused me to lose my eyesight and an optic nerve disease why wouldn’t it cause bipolar? Wouldn’t it make sense my brain doesn’t respond to meds like a lot of bipolar patients do? Ie: antidepressants. It lets me know I can’t safely have ECT or TMS. It lets me know my body and it’s limitations. I’m going to bring the film to my pdoc on Thursday. I think a new mri is a good idea. I know it hasn’t gone away, it may be bigger. Usually it’s always stayed the same size.
bipolar is in my family, but not like mine. Not so hard to treat and not so rapid cycling.
Thanks for listening to me share. Hugs.