How do you go about most of your days when you're feeling totally ignored, neglected, unloved, lonely, invisible, and useless, like you don't matter to anyone? I can accept that I will always have depression (and the emptiness & struggle that comes with that) that i must (and do) treat, but it is becoming more and more difficult to accept that I don't deeply matter to anyone but the 2 people that gave birth to me (who will soon be gone).
No one else gives a damn. No one is really truly there for you (especially when the chips are down). This is where much of my suffering comes from and why life often does not seem worth living. Does having "self-love" make up for this pain & isolation? And if so, how do you "love yourself"? I already do millions of "self-care' activities everyday, regular therapy appointments, read too many self-help books, and I still have this crushing pain, emptiness and self-hatred inside.
Second post on this forum (woohoo!), but, I was wondering if anyone has any advice for smoothing out a relationship between two bipolar people. My fiance and I have been together for nearly three years now, engaged for almost two of those years, we're both under the age of 25 (but over 18), we live together, and we're both bipolar. She has Type I and I'm just recently diagnosed Type II. Both our diagnosis(es?) have been in the past year, and we've both been trying medicines (her first, then me as my dx came months after); she is presently unmedicated. We both see the same psychologist but different prescribing doctors/GPs. We do not presently do any sort of couples therapy, our therapy sessions are separate and confidential. Our relationship in all it's years has always had very rough spots that we stick out because we genuinely love each other and care for one another, and want to see each other grow/be apart of each other's lives. However, our MIs (bipolar, ptsd, possible schizo-spect disorder on our end) have nearly ripped us apart for good many times. We took an almost month long break after our most recent big falling out, out of desperation to try and amend ourselves and our relationship. Being apart for a bit seemed to help, but we seem to have fallen right back into the "cycle" of our relationship. The extreme highs and lows that are no doubt also attributed to our bipolar. Does any have any words of wisdom or advice to think about/keep in mind when trying to keep the relationship afloat? We genuinely do love and care for one another and want to make what we have at our best work. It just seems to get more and more difficult. Hopefully meds will help even us out, we know we need to work on ourselves to help the relationship.
Anything is much appreciated!
I'm currently having real difficulty at work and with a lot of my other relationships.
The issue is that I'm constantly being talked over and really have to fight to be heard at all.
I stutter slightly so that doesn't help me, and no-one seems to give a fuck most of the time.
At work it is particularly bad because my bosses will start to talk over me before I've finished half a sentence. This is an issue because I work as a software developer and communication is key to getting my job done.
The issue is so bad at work that every Sunday before I go to work I get angry thinking about having to deal with any of them. I feel that part of the issue is discrimination, because of my illness (I regret telling folk at work about it). I don't feel that I can move onto another job because I'm becoming unstable because it is leaving me feeling alienated. Other folk in the office seem to be following the example of what the bosses are doing.
I've tried to tell the bosses that they're doing this, but I'm being largely ignored.
Does anyone have any experience on how to deal with this sort of issue?
Towards the end of August of this year and the beginning of this month, I was a bit manic, and then on 9/5/18, I saw my pdoc, and she put me on divalproex sodium ER (Depakote ER) 500 mg every morning and olanzapine (Zyprexa) 10 mg as needed for mania.
Since starting the Depakote, I've already noticed that I am feeling rather flat and unmotivated, and that I'm slowly becoming depressed. It's been about four days into taking the Depakote, not long really, but I'm a little alarmed. A good friend of mine who's very knowledgeable with medications said that this is a very small dose, and I deduced that I would not feel much of anything, but I'm wondering if I'm sensitive to the anti-manic effects of it and that it might be putting me "too far on the other side" of euthymia...
Does anyone maybe have any insight on this, or has anyone maybe even experienced this same thing? Could this possibly be the Depakote this quickly into taking it, or is this maybe just "post-manic depression," or what?
I've also been taking the olanzapine (Zyprexa) nightly since it was prescribed to me to make sure I get good sleep, as getting good sleep was one of the things my pdoc instructed me to do since the main thing that precipitated my manic episode was lack of sleep. This probably confounds the clinical picture a bit, but I figured I would mention this.
Any input would be much appreciated. Thanks!
So, I guess this post is about how I can deal with this issue...My SO is on his iPhone 24/7, even while walking down the street, eating meals with me, and when we are watching TV or a film at home. I cannot get him to get off it! I look over his shoulder and its crap (not important stuff), like stupid memes, Twitter feed, sports scores.
I've told him constantly that it really irritates me and makes me feel like I do not matter. I feel ignored. Yet he keeps going back on it. What else can I do??? Then I start going on my iPhone too, and this gets me depressed. I try to go out, and keep myself occupied away from him, but then when we're together he's non-stop digitally connected.