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am i justified in hating my dad?

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i have hated my dad for as long as i can remember. i hate him for many reasons. he has been verbally abusive towards me for my entire life, in the past he has denied that i have any mental illnesses, but now he does believe in them. however, he thinks i am the reason i have mental illnesses. i feel that i can not speak freely when i am around him. i have begun to have violent thoughts whenever i think about him. 

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My dad was verbally abusive, too and did not understand mental illness.  I set boundaries with my parents and had little contact for a few years.  It was a relief not to get caught up in family drama.

He was on hospice before he died and i visited then.  He had gone from this big strong scary man to a frail, blind man.

I hated him. I thought i might not even go to his memorial, but i went. at his  memorial everyone was singing his praises. I read a poem i found, because i could not talk and pretend like it was all fine. 

I am finding forgiveness challenging.

i think your feelings are justified. 

Dont let the violent thoughts become actions.

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Justified? Well he sounds like a shit father so I'd go with yes. I don't think that hating your parents is a good thing though. Not because you should show them eternal gratitude for bringing you into this world - they were going to have sex anyway and they didn't do it for your sake. But shit parents aren't worth hating because hatred is letting them affect you more than they deserve. He verbally abused you all your life and thinks that you're to blame for being mentally ill? Sounds like a dumb arsehole.

Not always that easy I know. When you're young you don't know any better and you might think that you've done something wrong for them to treat you like this and that it's your fault. And this crappy lesson can affect the way you think about yourself for a long time. But what sort of person verbally abuses their child and then tells them that their mental illness is their own fault? A fucking arsehole. Don't hate your father because he's not worth it. He's pathetic and you're better than him. Indifference and pity are a far better way to revenge yourself. Pity might sound like an odd word to use but you're smarter than him and a better person than him, and he's pitiable in at least one sense of that word.

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Yes, you're justified. 

I hate my dad too. He was a violent alcoholic two-timing bastard junkie.

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