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I'm in a bit of a scary place.  I'm transitioning from Effexor to Cymbalta...I'm clinically depressed, I don't feel anything. 

I drive around, I go out, nothing at all.  More often than not I'm at home.  I'm lucky to have any kind of emotion any day.  I don't get any satisfaction out of anything, food, working, whatever....My memory has really been slipping along with some of my cognitive abilities.

Wondering how bad it can get, and can you come back from it?  Have you come back from it?  Also at your lowest, where do you go for comfort?  I can distract myself at best online gaming or something...

I'd just like to share the place I'm at and who else has circled the abyss...it's a lonely place.  Be Honest too, I don't need to be pampered.

Edited by BrianOCD

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On 10/8/2018 at 8:53 PM, BrianOCD said:

I'm in a bit of a scary place.  I'm transitioning from Effexor to Cymbalta...I'm clinically depressed, I don't feel anything. 

I drive around, I go out, nothing at all.  More often than not I'm at home.  I'm lucky to have any kind of emotion any day.  I don't get any satisfaction out of anything, food, working, whatever....My memory has really been slipping along with some of my cognitive abilities.

Wondering how bad it can get, and can you come back from it?  Have you come back from it?  Also at your lowest, where do you go for comfort?  I can distract myself at best online gaming or something...

I'd just like to share the place I'm at and who else has circled the abyss...it's a lonely place.  Be Honest too, I don't need to be pampered.

Hi Brian. Sorry no one replied. I’m sorry your in such a low place. I’m not doing well either . I lean oN my parents. And my tdoc. Is there anyone u can go to. I’ve been bad like deep dark bad with cognitive issues and such and I came back not all the way out but back. It’s doable buddy hang in there. I’m trying to myself. I have tanked very quickly

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On 10/8/2018 at 5:53 PM, BrianOCD said:

I'm in a bit of a scary place.  I'm transitioning from Effexor to Cymbalta...I'm clinically depressed, I don't feel anything. 

I drive around, I go out, nothing at all.  More often than not I'm at home.  I'm lucky to have any kind of emotion any day.  I don't get any satisfaction out of anything, food, working, whatever....My memory has really been slipping along with some of my cognitive abilities.

Wondering how bad it can get, and can you come back from it?  Have you come back from it?  Also at your lowest, where do you go for comfort?  I can distract myself at best online gaming or something...

I'd just like to share the place I'm at and who else has circled the abyss...it's a lonely place.  Be Honest too, I don't need to be pampered.

I got to the point that I wouldn't remember something that happened or was said 5 minutes ago. Not kidding. Made working hard. I came out of it by going back on meds and stabilizing. Stability never lasts..shit always comes back. Thing is you never come back whole. Slowly chips away at you. Like you come back at 98% of where you were before...great..happens again..you come back 98% of the 98% you were at earlier.  And so forth.

Comfort is sleeping or trying to. Maybe binge watch something on the couch if my memory isn't in goldfish mode at that time or I care to pay attention period.

I've always had anhedonia as far as when the depression started. It's not as much that I can break out of it, vs I can lessen it so things are semi-ok/kills time.

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I'm pretty much where you are. 

The thing is, everyone's chemistry and personality and life skills are so different and in different combinations that who can really say? 

Try not to lose hope.

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Thanks for responses, means a lot to me.

I guess what has got me worried is I was on Effexor for so long, so I assume my brain chemistry is used to THAT.  

I feel like if I'm off Effexor, how is my brain going to go back when that drug isn't there...Does that make sense?  I spent 7 years on Effexor so how will I get back if my state of mind is so used to Effexor?  

I guess what I'm asking is how do you recover after your third fourth depression when your mind has been chemically dependent?   Do you really think you can recover it even somewhat? 

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8 hours ago, BrianOCD said:

Thanks for responses, means a lot to me.

I guess what has got me worried is I was on Effexor for so long, so I assume my brain chemistry is used to THAT.  

Your brain can re wire itself , it’s called neurplasticity. Just like it learns to accept the medicine, it can learn to accept new ones or not to have medicine

8 hours ago, BrianOCD said:

I feel like if I'm off Effexor, how is my brain going to go back when that drug isn't there...Does that make sense?  I spent 7 years on Effexor so how will I get back if my state of mind is so used to Effexor?  

It will take time but it can happen. R u stopping meds all

togethwr?

8 hours ago, BrianOCD said:

I guess what I'm asking is how do you recover after your third fourth depression when your mind has been chemically dependent?   Do you really think you can recover it even somewhat? 

Yes absolutely, your Brain, personality, are ever evolving. Like I said it’s adaptable

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19 hours ago, BrianOCD said:

Thanks for responses, means a lot to me.I guess what has got me worried is I was on Effexor for so long, so I assume my brain chemistry is used to THAT.  

I feel like if I'm off Effexor, how is my brain going to go back when that drug isn't there...Does that make sense?  I spent 7 years on Effexor so how will I get back if my state of mind is so used to Effexor?  

I guess what I'm asking is how do you recover after your third fourth depression when your mind has been chemically dependent?   Do you really think you can recover it even somewhat? 

I'm sorry you are stuck in such a bad place these days...been there, stuck and in the thick of it, it does seem hopeless and never ending.

I have the same serious concerns around long-term med usage, tolerance and poop out. The only thing that has pulled me out of long periods of anhedonia is a stimulant (Ritalin at the moment) I am scared to death that my brain is becoming so dependent on it,  it will soon stop having any effect and then nothing will work for me! I took a 4 month break and saw a frightening, drastic drop in my mood, motivation and cognitive functioning. Your brain gets accustomed to these drugs and I am very worried myself of running out of options when they stop working.

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1 hour ago, Blahblah said:

I'm sorry you are stuck in such a bad place these days...been there, stuck and in the thick of it, it does seem hopeless and never ending.

I have the same serious concerns around long-term med usage, tolerance and poop out. The only thing that has pulled me out of long periods of anhedonia is a stimulant (Ritalin at the moment) I am scared to death that my brain is becoming so dependent on it,  it will soon stop having any effect and then nothing will work for me! I took a 4 month break and saw a frightening, drastic drop in my mood, motivation and cognitive functioning. Your brain gets accustomed to these drugs and I am very worried myself of running out of options when they stop working.

but just as they become accostomed, they can become unaccostomed

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17 hours ago, looking for answers said:

Your brain can re wire itself , it’s called neurplasticity. Just like it learns to accept the medicine, it can learn to accept new ones or not to have medicine

It will take time but it can happen. R u stopping meds all

togethwr?

Yes absolutely, your Brain, personality, are ever evolving. Like I said it’s adaptable

No I switched over from Effexor to Cymbalta, but you're right looking for answers, I want to believe that our brains can always adapt even in the presence of the chemicals....It's just when in a depression it seems like it's having a lot of trouble adapting heh

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6 hours ago, BrianOCD said:

No I switched over from Effexor to Cymbalta, but you're right looking for answers, I want to believe that our brains can always adapt even in the presence of the chemicals....It's just when in a depression it seems like it's having a lot of trouble adapting heh

i agree, but its true, our brains can adapt

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