Latuda is off the table for now due to the weird reaction. We were considering Depakote, but psych doc just called and nixed that idea due to my NAFLD and chronic hyperammonia issues. So, he wants me to start back on Zyprexa tonight and to call him tomorrow to see how I am doing. He has been calling me daily over the past two weeks. Several neighbors are suggesting assisted living, but my psych doc is saying no way, I'm not at that stage yet. However, my mother started dementia at my age, but his position in this is that when on Zyprexa, it cures the confusion and other debilitating symptoms at least for awhile. He says that if I had early dementia, I would not respond to the Zyprexa as well as I do.
My neighbors are now concerned due to my inability to think straight and confusion which they are picking up on. I have known this for sometime and have expressed my concern many times over my brain feeling like it is falling apart and unable to function in the real world. Finally my psych doc is taking me seriously.
Dissociation is with me all day long, extreme anxiety and fear/panic/dread all day long, confusion is there all day long, just feeling unwell with these chronic migraines is keeping me in bed 3 days out of 5 days. This is not a functioning life for me. I am afraid to leave my apartment, I am afraid to hear from my neighbors that I am confused and not functioning well. These daily reports are just overwhelming me. I now turn off my phone, close my blinds and live in a shroud of secrecy.
I will be seeing my headache/neurologist/seizure doc this week and will bring this up to him as well. I hope I can make the appointment.
Just sitting here after taking .5 mg of Klonopin to take the edge off. Will start the Zyprexa this evening or sooner.
Just a few points about my environment. Two neighbor threatened my life here (verbally), neighbors that I get close to pass away suddenly (one right in front of me) (I live in an independent living facility and I am the youngest here - most have varying degrees of psychosis/dementia - hard to live with). I went to a party last week and I sat alone at my table while others crowded around with each other excluding me. I left and came home very depressed. I am an easy target where I live, bullies come after me. I have no trust with anyone who lives here anymore. Have been here a year and can't connect with anyone, very depressing, so I stay alone in my apartment. I do not drive and with my agoraphobia, leaving my home and venturing out alone is very very scary to me.
Just not a life that I want to keep living. I have to get on something to help calm down my brain so I can function in the world. I have been on most medications now and nothing works or the side effects are too harsh. It's just becoming too hard now to function in this world.
Well, thanks for reading *smiles*
So I saw my psych doc today and he feels the best reactions I have had to control most all my symptoms are in this class of medications. Where I do not like this "named" class, I will give this one drug one more try. I have been on them all but this one. All the others I can take for short bursts of time. We are trying to find something I can take long-term.
Starting tonight with 20 mg of Latuda. I also asked for Cogentin to help with the horrible muscle spasms and rigid muscles. Mail order will eventually get me the Trasadone to help with sleep and Cogentin for muscle issues. I asked for Xanax and he wouldn't allow that since it's too short acting. I tried to convince him I need something for emergency purposes and he still said no.
It's been 6 months since I have seen my psych doc and in 40 minutes he went thru all my back history, last 30 years to try to find something to help me. He also wrote to my landlord stating that my new kitten is my therapy cat and can therefore not charge me any pet deposits nor fees. I love him for doing that for me !!!
So, after 35 years of treating me I asked... am I BiPolar or what am I? He said basically I suffer under the umbrella of chronic PTSD, tramatic brain injury and childhood abuse. The symptoms I continue to have will not go away, but need to be treated, great, huh? At least he was truthful. Settling in for the long-haul or what's left of my life. Somehow I was magically under the illusion I would be cured, lol.
I have thought about this for a long time but have never signed up. I have bad social anxiety and some attention issues/going mentally blank from anxiety.
1. Has anyone done this for therapetic reasons?
2. Anyone brave enough to make a contract between us, if I do it, you will too? It would mean the world to me to have a buddy.
met with psychiatrist last friday and was asked when/how i take/manage/remember to take my meds and when I mentioned I took my Vraylar in the morning she expressed concern and asked why I took it in the AM. I simply told her it doesn't sedate me at all and I struggle to keep up with multiple dosages per day and remembering to take meds in the evening.
She suggested that even though I don't feel sedated or tired from taking Vraylar in the morning, in addition to 40mg Valium and 0.5mg Xanax, switching to dosing at bedtime (the Vraylar plus Valium) may decrease my need to use a sleeping aid. I can never win with antipsychotics and sleep. An atypical antipsychotic either knocks me out (seroquel, zyprexa) and leaves me super sedated next day and cognitively impaired, as well as "stable-blah or fails to produce activation or sedation (rexulti, vraylar, latuda). This puts me in a predicament because I have severe insomnia that must be treated or else I spiral out of control and become dysfunctional very rapidly.
Since Vraylar doesn't help me fall asleep, I alternate between using small dose, 50mg, of seroquel and halcion 0.25mg. Here's the problem:
I don't feel at ease or comfortable taking to antipsychotics at the same time (Vraylar + Seroquel), but it works. Even my psychiatrist expresses a lot of concern about me taking two antipsychotics. We have explored other options, trust me almost of of them (sonata, ambien, edluar, mirtazapine, saphris, lunesta, temazepam, valium, xanax, clonidine, intermezzo, you name it, i've tried it except for belsomra), and after failing therapeutic response to several rounds of hypnotic sleeping medications I begged for halcion because I had been dying to do well on a sleep medication with a short half-life, quick onset of action, and little next day sedation. My doctor wrote my a script of 20 tablets for 45-60 days, but recently discussed "doing something about the triazolam (halcion)," meaning getting rid of it in the near future but it's the only thing that works for me! I w
I feel so anxious because I am 3 weeks from coming off xanax completely, or decreasing to 0.25mg for 2 weeks after that then being off. Then the plan is to remove the remaining benzos (diazepam, triazolam) because I had a history of using xanax in the wrong ways in my past, so my doctor wants me off any benzodiazepine. I am really concerned that she will eventually stop prescribing halcion to me and I fear this because this is the only med I can rely on to get a good nights' rest if I have an important even the next day where I can't afford drowsiness. I use halcion to put me to sleep when I have something important to do the next day or if it's too late at night to take something longer acting like seroquel. My health insurance keeps pushing her to change medications since halcion is indicated for short term relief, but so is ambien, lunesta, and sonata. What's the difference I told her, halcion is the only thing that legititmately helps me fall asleep fast, doesn't leave a hangover, feels more natural than other sleep aids like ambien (where I feel disoriented, wobbly, etc.).
I was absolutely grateful when my physician wrote me for halcion and was even happier after trying it out. i am not looking to take it every night by any means, I just want to have a continuous prescription so I can have something to rely on when I cannot afford having a poor night's' sleep or when i find myself spending hours trying but failing to fall asleep. Anyone else have experiences with being prescribed halcion on a continuous basis? I frankly don't see the problem in my prescription of 20 halcion every 45-60 days, it's not like I am taking it nightly (then I would see and understand where my doctor and health insurance company are coming from) but for strictly PRN use. I think taking halcion out of my medication regimen will only lead to the journey of finding another sleep medication that works, which we all know take weeks to months. Why change something if it's working and not being misused or abused? Any opinions, stories, or experiences with you guys? Feel free to talk about other "short-term" sleep medications and your experience.
I hate how my anxiety makes me overthink everything. Here lately, my relationship especially. It intrudes into my head and it makes me wanna say, "who do you think you are, coming into my head, and making me feel these negative thoughts?!" Like, really, who!?
That might sound strange, but it's truly how I feel. I hate feeling unsure of my relationship. It makes me feel ill. I've been trying to take my meds consistently lately, I missed the day I had counseling...which is odd because we talked about my inconsistency of taking my meds.
We've been together a little over a year now, which is pretty new for me. Never had a relationship last that long. Maybe I'm scared I'll get hurt or something? But, I know I won't. A lot of it is the whole "what if he isn't good for me?" spiel. My parents aren't very fond of what he does for work, but he does his best to take care of us, and put up with my anxiety and other issues. All in all he's pretty great, but my brain makes me want to over analyze everything and I wish I could make it shut up. My mom said she thinks it's making me realize that my relationship isn't healthy or something to that effect.
Does anyone else have issues like this with their relationships? I saw a blog post about it from a girl who also suffered from GAD and I cried. It explained everything I've felt for so long when it comes to relationships, or at least this one. I feel like I'm alone in these feelings, usually. I know these feelings aren't normal, and I don't like them