Hello everyone! Where to begin...
I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder with some avoidant traits. I have been struggling with depression and anxiety since elementary school (I am 22 now).
Up til this point, I have been in and out of hospitals and treatment centers and passed around from therapist to therapist. I was heavily self- harming and abusing alcohol and other substances. A few months ago, I was sent to yet another center after a suicide attempt.
Let me tell you, it changed my life. I was introduced to DBT, which has truly saved me. I am finally on the correct medication which has seriously reduced, if not stopped, my horrid intrusive thoughts and paranoia. Before, I was to the point I could hardly get out of bed, and already had to drop out of college and leave my job. Now, I have rediscovered my love for art, I am waitressing (something I would have NEVER thought possible) and- best of all- my relationship with my fiance is SO much better and we are back to planning our wedding.
I am back to seeing a therapist regularly, and she is awesome. I've finally confronted issues with my toxic mother and am opening up about traumatic childhood experiences as well as working through family therapy with my father (and my mother, when he can convince her to join).
The fact is, life is GOOD, I am somewhere I thought I would never be and I am incredibly grateful. I'm back here to recieve support now that I am more stable and moving forward into uncharted territory in my life. Thanks for being here and reading.
My therapist has been trying to convince me to go into a DBT intensive outpatient program. I have been avoiding it because I am agoraphobic (I don't ever leave the house alone) and it's a hassle in terms of getting there. My disability attorney convinced me to do it because she said it would be very helpful for my case. I am scared though.
Anyone have any experiences with IOP they want to share, good, bad, or ugly?
The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online DatingBy ovOidampUle
This is really a tremendously helpful book written by someone who lost control of her life due to Borderline Personality Disorder and learned to cope via good therapy. In the book she talks about how difficult it is to find the right treatment and how life changing it was for someone to give her a diagnosis and explain it to her frankly. She talks about treatment and her struggles with it. I'm don't meet the criteria for BPD, but there's a lot for me to relate to in this book. My life is a mess because I can't emotionally handle a lot of situations, and it's in a way that runs deeper than anxiety. She calls it "emotional dysregulation," and I definitely identified with that. There's very few books out there written for people *with* BPD, and fewer still that are as hopeful and encouraging as this one.
My niece just started PHP, she ALSO has bipolar, like myself. She is 34 years old. Anyway, she was told she is NOT to talk to ANYONE about what goes on at PHP, including family. Now I know she isn't just saying this so as not to talk about it because believe me she is very, very outspoken, if she didn't want to talk about it, she'd say "I don't want to talk about it" in no uncertain terms. So I was just wondering out of curiosity has anyone else had this "don't say a word to outsiders" about anything that goes on in here kind of rule? I myself never had anything other then the rule or request not to give away peoples real names or identifying factors, and believe me I've been through it all ...IOP,PHP AA, INPATIENT, GROUP....Etc.
I literally joined this site two minutes ago, so this is my first post. Hi.
I was diagnosed with "quiet" borderline personality disorder a year and a half ago when I was inpatient. The therapist and doctor there probably came to this diagnosis after having observed my cutting and purging behavior. Fast-forward to 2015, and I ended my therapy because: a. I felt worse every time I left the office; and b. I didn't believe I had this disorder. I felt that my cutting and purging was rooted more in a trauma I had about three years earlier than it was in something I had grown up with.
Anyway, I'm reflecting more on the relationships I used to have and how unstable I was (I'd also like to add that before the trauma, I had untreated cases of both schizoaffective disorder and bipolar disorder). I wonder sometimes if I do have this. Interestingly enough, only a few weeks after my last therapist's appointment, I ceased all cutting and purging. I'm learning to drive and I'm also taking college classes two weeks from now.
The thing that concerns me now, is whether I should resume my dialectical behavioral therapy. I'm thinking that perhaps I didn't "match up" with my therapist, and that's why I felt so crummy after every session. The biggest reason why I would consider taking therapy up again would be because I want to major in psychology, and it wouldn't do to be a professional psychologist and have untreated borderline personality disorder. Any advice?