AirMarshall

IF YOU ARE THINKING OF SUICIDE...

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Air Marshall -

Thanks for posting that page from what I've found to be a useful website.  The bad part is that I have had to use it so many times.  Of all the things I've read about suicide, here is the statement that made the most sense to me, even at my lowest moments, and it's from that site:

Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

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this is a great link. thank you so much for posting it A.M.

i just hope i won't have to use it too many times, but i've already been there on three or four occasions. but its of great use. makes a lot of sense, even when you're down and out.

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Well,

It is unfortunate that this guy Gilbert ended up with medical bills he wasn't planning for.

90% of what he complains about is bullshit. The fucker knoweth not of what he talks. The rest of his immature little story carries no weight.

Consider this: A trained counselor takes a call from a guy named Gilbert who will not promise that he won't kill himself. (help me on the logic here, VE) Therefore, she must assume that he is a real risk for suicide.

So, following the prudential rule to protect the caller from death, and herself and organization from liability from failure to perform their function she calls the police, and does everthing to keep the caller occupied until the locals can take over.

Sound pretty damn reasonable.

The police take him to a hospital (he didn't get his choice...waw). Licensed doctors determine that he needs observation, thereby validating the phone counselors judgement.

Sounds pretty damn reasonable.

Gilbert may be embarrased, angry, properly evaluated, and in debt, but he got reasonable, legal handling and he is alive to bitch about it.

One pissed off idiot doesn't condemn the whole hotline.

a.m.

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Google around. You'll find hundreds of similar stories. They bottom line is that they have a moral obligation to protect confidentially if people are going to trust them and they don't. I happen to know the guy. That thread is from usenet forum where I used to pretty active. You'll note that he said he thought he considered their fairlure to keep their word a sit. He was never asked to promise not to kill himself. He simply refused to answer questions which under the baker act could be used to involuntary commit him because he didn't want to tell a lie because that's the kind of person he is.

Sometimes calling the cops on a suicide person is the right thing to do. They err on the side of caution way way too many times.

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Hm. I don't know how 1800Suicide works but I work at the Women's Shelter in my area and work the crisis line. When we have a suicidal caller, our job is to listen, to suggest that they get help very quickly and to help them see that suicide is permanent, pain is not, and help can be found. If they have an instrument to kill themselves with, we see if they can put it in another room, or put it away. We ask if they would like us to call 911, or if they would like to. We ask if they would go to the ER so they can get the help they need. We ask them if they can have a friend come by or if they can go to a public place and try to talk light with someone. Something we do NOT do is call the police without their permission UNLESS we feel that the person absolutely WILL kill themselves (calling a crisis line is calling for help, saying that maybe they don't want to kill themselves) and we cannot do this unless they give us their full address (normally we ask just for county of residence). If the person has given us their address and then says they are in danger of hurting themselves or of being hurt or witnessing someone hurt someone else we ask or tell them that we are going to call the police. We can't do that unless we have an address though. Cops around here can't trace calls, we can look them up in a reverse phone book, though.

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Thanks for posting that page from what I've found to be a useful website. The bad part is that I have had to use it so many times. Of all the things I've read about suicide, here is the statement that made the most sense to me, even at my lowest moments, and it's from that site:

Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

are you my twin?

I feel the same exact way about that site...I'm so glad it's there but it stinks how well I know it from reading it so many times. That line that you pulled from it is the line that always gets me too. I try to keep that in my mind if I'm ever feeling that low. I'm not an online (or real life) hugging type but ((hugs)) because you just said exactly what I was about to, and that's one of the reasons I'm learning to love these boards so much.

meg

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catnapper and meg i love that phrase too! I have never heard of it before now

thank you ;)

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so it was April 2007 last time I posted on this thread and I still have this site on my bookmarks--

and it'll stay there even though I haven't needed it in years.

I've passed it on to several friends as well and intend to bring another friend to it tonight.

It seems so recently that I sat on my dorm room bed in the dark and read it over and over trying to sob quietly so as not to wake my roommate-- God, I was in so much pain.

I wouldn't wish that on anyone, ever, and I'm sorry so many of us have to go through it--

But I'm still here, and I guess I just wanted to post again since I'm over a year into 'remission' now and didn't think (no, I thought I KNEW) that it wasn't possible back when I needed that link.

but it is and I'm very glad I'm here to post and pass it on.

guess that's all- I hope you don't mind me posting this here, I just felt like I needed to.

m

ps- just like I always have this link bookmarked, I also always have a hotline like the ones discussed above programmed into my cell phone as the letter 'Z' so only I know what it is. Z is the very end and at the bottom of the alphabet, so it's not like I'll ever forget what number it stands for in my phone.

I've never needed to use it, but it's good to know it's there especially if I'm casting about my contact list trying to figure out who to call and need another option.

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Thanks Meg for the comments. It makes the effort here worthwhile. I have read that one page many times.

a.m.

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That page has saved me a few times as well. The tone is just right - warm without being condescending or anything. It always makes me feel better when I'm in the Pit.

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I found this forum after a very serious suicide overdose in Oct. 09.

I call it very serious because I've done the barely enough to do harm/I'll show you/ fake suicide years ago. This time it was for keeps. But it wasn't! Strange how I now think of it as before the end and after the end...I'll get over that.

I knew I would not have to deal anymore. Amazed still that-nothing mattered at the time.

MY point-

I feel so guilty, that's probably good-but I also deal with rapid cycling BP amongst others crap-and the guilt sends me into a tail spin.

I'm embarrassed.

I don't remember any of it after passing out and waking in ICU 2 days later on respirator-then the shame.

All the people who worked so hard to save me-when I had worked so hard to die-I am in debt to persons I've no clue whom they are. and wonder if they are disgusted with me for wanting to die.

My psych ask alot now for me to say 'I'd never again' and I'd like to-but life is long and it is a real threat for me now.

Coping skill only work sometimes.

I'm better now-lots of meds, but that is depressing as well-what if's.

So anyway-I come here and read-don't post much-come here and cry!

Thanks guys

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"Suicide is not chosen; it happens

when pain exceeds

resources for coping with pain."

What if the only resources you haven't tapped in to are the one's that cost money. And you're poor. How do you access them? I need intensive therapy. Can't afford it or even get the energy to look for someone. I need money. I can't work. I'm quite certain i'd qualify for SSDI but the thought of doing all that's required to get it give me so much anxiety I always give up. etc etc. If I had a social worker that would help greatly. Someone from a not for profit maybe. Someone who'd sit down and physically help me fill out a form for medicaid, say.

Overall, I did like the link, but then reality kicks in and I realize that I can barely get out of my bed (when depressed- which is when i think about these things)

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Thanks for the link, I have been hospitalized 2 times for suicide attempts, the person above me says "When reality kicks in" "Hard to get out of bed" I agree to an extent. I have real bad Anxiety and sometimes Dillusions (spelling), it can get hard, but I live day by day, thanks for the link and read.

Billy.

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When I worked on a crisis line, we had a firm policy of not calling the police unless the person passed out as we spoke, or otherwise seemed to indicate that a medical emergency was happening. There was always a presumption that a caller wasn't 100% in favor of suicide - otherwise, they wouldn't call. There was always that assumption that at least a tiny piece of the caller wanted to live, somehow.

I think that many times when a phone worker calls the police, they're looking for some drama. In my experience, it is almost never necessary to call the police. The caller wants to live. S/he just wants the suffering to end. Usually a genuinely caring voice is enough to get them through. If they need to go to the hospital, this can almost always be a mutual decision, both the caller and the phone worker agreeing that this would be a good thing.

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Yeah, I posted that years ago. I think they have had some policy changes since then.

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I wish the page went on forever and I could just keep reading it.

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It seems so recently that I sat on my dorm room bed in the dark and read it over and over trying to sob quietly so as not to wake my roommate-- God, I was in so much pain.

I wouldn't wish that on anyone, ever, and I'm sorry so many of us have to go through it--

I just finished my first year of college with BP. There were many nights that I cried until I had no more tears. Unfortunately I had no idea what was wrong with me and I thought I was going crazy. I was having psychotic episodes, but I didn't know what they were and I thought I was losing my mind. I found this site this summer after I was officially diagnosed with BP and social anxiety (at school they told me I might have BP, but put me on prozac anyways, which actually did make me go crazy). I am so glad that I've found this. It really helps to not only know that I'm not the only one out there, but also to have a place to talk about issues in a lighthearted environment.

Your comment really hit home for me... all those long nights wishing I was normal,,, I still have them almost every night.

I just started Lamictal a month ago... I'm hoping it will kick in and help me before I have to go back to school..

I want to enjoy my life instead of struggling to survive it. sad.gif

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It is the realm of ones soul,I dig as deep as I can to dredge I glimmer of my past and it helps some for an instance.I'm going to keep trying with the hope that my ember will grow because I need the warmth back in my soul.I am a different person of self loathing but now and then I see some light,but one thing is for sure this is a real hurt.I have a new respect for anyone suffering as I this is as low as we go.Thanks for listening,

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It is the realm of ones soul,I dig as deep as I can to dredge I glimmer of my past and it helps some for an instance.I'm going to keep trying with the hope that my ember will grow because I need the warmth back in my soul.I am a different person of self loathing but now and then I see some light,but one thing is for sure this is a real hurt.I have a new respect for anyone suffering as I this is as low as we go.Thanks for listening,

Even in the blackest night, the sun is always just beyond the horizon. Sorry if that sounds korny, but it is true. Even when your souls feel burnt and dead or wreathing in the worst pain, time does not stop and with that universal reality, you change, the pain eases, a prick light becomes visible and then shines more. The neurotransmitters fucking up at your receptor sites start messaging a little more normal. It is normal to grieve and feel remorse, JTSD. These feelings don't not last forever. Just, you know, don't choose to suffer in the worst way possible. Work with your pdoc to unwrap the depression from it.

Edited by Stacia
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life is something to be enjoyed, not constant pain. when it's constant pain, that's a warning sign that you need help, i suppose.

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life is something to be enjoyed, not constant pain. when it's constant pain, that's a warning sign that you need help, i suppose.

Just found this.. ..no matter what, I smile through the day. But, I am in constant pain. I don't know what to do as I

have had very good psychiatric care. That hole in the soul cannot be medicated, I suppose

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really, have been just glancing over this and after reading it ,it is a big pill to swallow for I have been hospitalized quite a few times for attempted and just thinking of suicide and honestly the guilt from trying it almost is enough to drive you over the edge I'm glad I read this and I put the link in my favorites, I hope it helps others whom are burdened like me with this almost obsession to end it all

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