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  2. I tend to talk about mental illness history fairly early on because my history of SH would be visible to a partner. I've only been in that situation 3 times and in all cases the relationship continued and that wasn't an issue. My spouse also has MI, but the previous 2 people I dated didn't. They were still able to have a reasonable conversation about it. I'm sure it can scare people off, but I don't think it will scare off the people that could really be a good fit
  3. I've had doctors disagree over whether I was having depression or negative symptoms. I think it's one of those gray areas of psychiatry where there aren't any satisfying answers.
  4. Today
  5. @TakeAChillPill Thanks for that. Reading is what has me wondering in the first place.
  6. I'm using an advocate service.
  7. IDK, when I am depressed I have flat affect, slowed speech and difficulty interacting, for me the psychomotor retardation is one of the worst parts of my depression. It does respond to antidepressants though so I assume it really is depression.
  8. Wishing you the best !!.......Do you have an attorney?
  9. So on the 8th of next month I have my first appeal. My doctor was finishing some forms and said flat out I should get it. I have multiple, serious chronic conditions, both physical and mental. I have not worked since I applied. I was well paid for the last 3 years of my employment so I will get the max. I was just approved for another year of Medicaid so I should be able to move from Medicaid to Medicare without any gaps.
  10. Valium "bad stuff" ...?

    Don't make the mistake of confusing addictive and dependency. Meds are not addictive, but they can cause dependence. Alprazolam (Xanax) is most likely to cause dependence.
  11. @Iceberg I don’t feel any mood at all. Not happy or sad or anything inbetween. I just am and I have no motivation to move or engage without a lot of effort to do so. Hygiene is becoming an issue and I’m getting a problem where I’m not sure what facial expression to make when I talk to people because I can’t feel the emotions I’m faking when I do. So if I’m trying to seem pleased or sad in response to something said to me, I’m not sure whether to smile or frown. Both feel alien and forced. It’s all becoming very strange to me because I’ve never experienced something like this before. I guess I’ll know on Monday.
  12. I have a poor sense of self. My sense of self was stunted from the first time I got sick.
  13. I'm not SZ or SZA but what I've heard (mostly from my college clinical psych classes) neg symptoms deals a lot more with flat affect and withdrawal but also with physical manifestations like broken slow speech, psychomotor retardation, and lack of social/conversation ability. Depression seems to be centered around the mood symptoms (suicidality, sadness, crying) Etc. of course I'm no expert I think schizoaffective too
  14. @saintalto to have negative symptoms you must have schizophrenia correct
  15. @Iceberg It’s okay, I’m just not sure about what’s going on yet. @looking for answers They can be similar yes, that’s why I’m hoping someone who experienced both might be able to tell me any key differences.
  16. alot of negative symptoms seem to be similar to symptoms of depression, or am i wrong?
  17. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    gotta let go of the news, its nothing but bad things
  18. Oh I'm sorry @saintalto I wasn't trying to push drugs that was just my way of agreeing with @jt07
  19. @jt07 I guess it’s just something feels so different about how I am now and all the times I was depressed in the past. It doesn’t feel like the same creature. I suppose I hope it’s depression and just responds to an increase in wellbutrin or perhaps some other drug... but I just can’t shake that this isn’t what I know to be depression. Something’s very off. I suppose the pdoc will tell me one way or the other. @Iceberg I was on clozapine and it was a nightmare for me so that’s out. I will see what the pdoc thinks of this all before I start thinking about drug options, but thank you for the advice.
  20. I've heard of Vraylar and the newer ones possibly being used for negative symptoms and sometimes clozaril...unfortunately it's really tricky. The only thing I've heard of consistently working is ECT but clearly that's not something you just do. jt07 is right about depression being easier
  21. Sorry for posting on this board, but I think most doctors would rather try treating it as depression at least initially because negative symptoms are so very hard to treat. If it is depression, it will lift with typical depression treatments. Negative symptoms are much more refractory.
  22. I would like to hear from someone who has experienced both depression and negative symptoms and if you can tell me how they differed. I am supposedly depressed but I can’t get over the feeling this isn’t depression. It doesn’t feel like depression to me and I have read about negative symptoms and it really seems more like that. I was going to ask my pdoc on Monday too.
  23. I believe that the theory behind "classic" and "quiet" types within the borderline spectrum came into being to either make it easier for treating doctors to recognize BPD in people who do not present as the "textbook case" or to make dealing with a diagnosis not so terrifying for people. I'm not going to lie, it still hurts me to this day that I was diagnosed with BPD. I do everything in my power to not be re-diagnosed because it hurts me as it gives validation to the points as to why nobody wants to be around me and it scares off potential doctors and/ or makes them believe I'm just being dramatic when I tell them anything. If I were to be re-diagnosed I'd honestly just off myself as most doctors don't talk about sub-categories of BPD and just see (mostly) everyone with it as terrible people who don't want or deserve help, so it is hard to find accurate help whether I'm honest or dishonest about my true self. Despite identifying as and wanting to be labelled as a quiet borderline, even I agree that sub-categorization in BPD is not a good idea because it further divides people with it and gives the notion of "good" and "bad" borderlines. It only serves to allow doctors to treat classic behavior within the diagnosis as a crime. No one with BPD is bad because of their symptoms and we all deserve to be treated fairly, and well, by loved ones, professionals, and peers. The system is failing if we are not treated with kindness and respect.
  24. random thoughts!

    I wonder how nice the world would be if politicians were objective, logical, honest and benevolent.
  25. whatever the weather

    It snowed today. Quite a lot actually but now it is melting. It will surely melt tomorrow.
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