I was wondering if my feeling lonely, unloved, depressed and crying spells of late could be due to my withdrawal from Klonopin. I find myself so oversensitive to everything and can't stand it. Here's a quick example....

Wife and I separated back in November, she moved back in March admitting it was a mistake to leave. Her abandonment triggered my repressed feelings of being abandoned as a kid by my mom who killed herself when I was 15. PTSD for sure but it has seemingly gotten worse the last many weeks. I saw a new pdoc July 22 and am currently tapering off Klonopin as follows...

Was on 1mg morning, 1mg night

did 1mg morning, 1/2mg night for 10 days
currently doing 1/2mg morning, 1/2mg night for 10 days (am on day 6)
will do 1/4mg morning, 1/4mg night for 10 days
will do 1/4mg either morning or night for 10 days

I am also on 50mg Pristiq, a new antidepressent and have been since July 22.

Today I e-mailed her about a nightmare I had this morning about our marriage breaking up and how scary it was. We went back and forth a bit on the topic and in my last e-mail I said "I need your help through this, I love you so much" and she didn't respond until 50 minutes later in which she simply told me about a project she would be working on away from her desk for the rest of the day and she would call me when she got out of work. No "I love you back, etc."

I was despondent and still am. I started to feel alone, unloved and just laid in bed for about 1/2 hour crying like never before about how no one in the world loves or cares about me, especially my mom and now my wife. I am still depressed and sad and could cry all over again. I feel like I'm so overly-senstive to everything, like every nerve is raw and exposed.

Could this be a side effect? I hate feeling this way and hate being so sensitive but I'm not sure if it's the PTSD, the withdrawal or a combo of the two. Any responses would make me feel slightly less alone and if there's anyone out there who would like to talk, please message me at mjfarrell5959 on Yahoo messenger. I'd really love to talk to some people about this because I don't feel anyone understands what I'm dealing with.

Lurker,

I just wanted to offer my support. I have gone through withdrawal three times, twice from benzos.

The symptoms you are describing are very similar to what I have experienced. I remember the intense depression and crying a lot. If you can, remind yourself that what you are feeling is normal for your situation.

Please take care and keep posting.

Peace to you,
Phoenix

If your wife is at work, it's understandable that she is busy. She did email back and forth several times, but she probably can't just keep emailing when she has work to do and a boss or coworkers peering over her shoulder. I don't think it's personal at all. She's just busy.

I think your fear of abandonment is so huge because of the loss of your Mom, and the cutting back on Klonopin is adding to any anxiety you are already having.

I know it's easier said than done, but try to remember that your wife has her duties at work, and it doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. It's just a fact that she has work to do, if she wants to stay employed.

Hang in there.