Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org



  • Posts

    • Makes sense. Theoretically it’s approved for up to 15 for depression, but I’m not sure if higher doses make the mechanism of action more effective in ocd 
    • I got prescribed it some years ago and the shrink at the time wanted me to start straight on 10mg but back then i had this horrific fear of meds and refused to take it..I know that shrink said i had treatment resistant depression in his words "Thats why you have struggled for so long"  So maybe he wanted to go straight to 10mg because its mechanism of action is different at higher doses??...Anyways i'm just guessing now...This is the reason i want to be prescribed by a shrink..I know General Drs are ok but they are not mental health specialists and Psychiatric meds expecially when its combos and complex mental health Imo needs to be prescribed by an expert .. i know if i went to my general dr my fear of meds would kick in as in my mind i'd see it that they are not experts hence why i've gone down the private road....Saying that i'm hoping if i get on with this shrink i might make it a more long term thing...Even if its to touch base every couple of month...I just get fed up of having to repeat the same story over n over to different pdocs
    • It can at 10-15 but I think the dose is usually kept  low for OCD, although o may be wrong and there are always exceptions 
    • I am leaning towards this...The only thing that concerns me is abilify been activating...I personally need something that is more sedating/calming...I have read though that at higher doses 10mg abilify goes from activating to calming so that could be an option
    • i don't leave the house anymore. i dont think my employer is ever going to bring us back onsite. i'm ok with not commuting. driving terrifies me since my accident in 2015. i have no reason to leave. everything i need, and some stuff i dont gets brought to me, though not necessarily on the day they say, which causes all kinds of anxiety, so i jump in the chat box and be rude to the bot. i am completely alone and i need social contact bc i am spiraling into the worst depression of my life. saw my therapist today, virtually of course. but i still sit here and cry on my couch. i need a life. i may not have covid, but it's taken my life from me. i've become agoraphobic and am scared to leave, but staying in is making my MI so very much worse. everyone i know is tired of my shit and stopped talking to me. like i told my cousin to stop trying to fix me and that i can't just "be happy" i have literal brain damage. she hasn't spoken to me since. everyone's lost their damn minds. but i don't know what to do with myself. this endless din of the inside of my own mind with no respite. i dont know how to fix any of this. it's gotten to be, screw the haircut, fuck the pedicure, i'll make do with whatever is in the freezer because frozen pineapple makes a good dinner right? i'm not actively suicidal. i just dont know what to do anymore. is this ever going to end? how do i get my life back? in so many ways i just don't care about anything anymore. i miss me. i miss everything. but i dont have any motivation to get any of it back and with the new covid world i dont even know if i could. i'm so damn tired 

All Activity

This stream auto-updates

  1. Today
  2. Makes sense. Theoretically it’s approved for up to 15 for depression, but I’m not sure if higher doses make the mechanism of action more effective in ocd
  3. I got prescribed it some years ago and the shrink at the time wanted me to start straight on 10mg but back then i had this horrific fear of meds and refused to take it..I know that shrink said i had treatment resistant depression in his words "Thats why you have struggled for so long" So maybe he wanted to go straight to 10mg because its mechanism of action is different at higher doses??...Anyways i'm just guessing now...This is the reason i want to be prescribed by a shrink..I know General Drs are ok but they are not mental health specialists and Psychiatric meds expecially when its combos and complex mental health Imo needs to be prescribed by an expert .. i know if i went to my general dr my fear of meds would kick in as in my mind i'd see it that they are not experts hence why i've gone down the private road....Saying that i'm hoping if i get on with this shrink i might make it a more long term thing...Even if its to touch base every couple of month...I just get fed up of having to repeat the same story over n over to different pdocs
  4. It can at 10-15 but I think the dose is usually kept low for OCD, although o may be wrong and there are always exceptions
  5. I am leaning towards this...The only thing that concerns me is abilify been activating...I personally need something that is more sedating/calming...I have read though that at higher doses 10mg abilify goes from activating to calming so that could be an option
  6. Yesterday
  7. i don't leave the house anymore. i dont think my employer is ever going to bring us back onsite. i'm ok with not commuting. driving terrifies me since my accident in 2015. i have no reason to leave. everything i need, and some stuff i dont gets brought to me, though not necessarily on the day they say, which causes all kinds of anxiety, so i jump in the chat box and be rude to the bot. i am completely alone and i need social contact bc i am spiraling into the worst depression of my life. saw my therapist today, virtually of course. but i still sit here and cry on my couch. i need a life. i may not have covid, but it's taken my life from me. i've become agoraphobic and am scared to leave, but staying in is making my MI so very much worse. everyone i know is tired of my shit and stopped talking to me. like i told my cousin to stop trying to fix me and that i can't just "be happy" i have literal brain damage. she hasn't spoken to me since. everyone's lost their damn minds. but i don't know what to do with myself. this endless din of the inside of my own mind with no respite. i dont know how to fix any of this. it's gotten to be, screw the haircut, fuck the pedicure, i'll make do with whatever is in the freezer because frozen pineapple makes a good dinner right? i'm not actively suicidal. i just dont know what to do anymore. is this ever going to end? how do i get my life back? in so many ways i just don't care about anything anymore. i miss me. i miss everything. but i dont have any motivation to get any of it back and with the new covid world i dont even know if i could. i'm so damn tired
  8. i don't know where else to put this. i don't know who else to ask. is there anyplace online a person can go to just talk to other crazy people? i can't with the NTs blowing "gratitude" sunshine up my ass, shaming me and blaming me for my MI. i feel so damn alone. i saw my therapist for the first time this morning in over a year. my world is small. i've tried to be friends with folks. it never works out. people cant deal with my crazy. and i'm not even that bad, but just bad enough to not fit in "out there" i know we used to have a chat feature on the site back in the day but it became cost prohibitive to continue. is there anywhere else to go? covid man, i was an introvert to begin with, and now i am working from home, and it's getting dark in here with only my own company, and nowhere, or nowhere safe to go out there. anyway. i just want to talk to people. i'm lonely. i'm not suicidal so those helplines aren't the thing. i just, you know, want to talk. like back in the 90s on AOL and there were chat rooms and you could talk to strangers and make friends. i did back then. i don't know where to go now. is there anywhere like that anymore?
  9. I wasn’t meaning you should retry and SSRI specifically just that the AD+Abilify combo is probably a solid option
  10. I dont tend to fair well with SSRIs...Escitalopram helped my thoughts become a bit clearer/sharper if that makes any sense?? Other than That SSRIs tend to make me agitated/Anxious...Which is weird as i remember taking fluoxetine (Prozac) when i was about 20 ish and it made me sedated and tired yet when i've tried it later in life it did the opposite and made me feel uneasy...It also makes me sweat badly and gives me a bad stomach
  11. I have a close family member doing well on high-ish dose of SSRI with low dose abilify
  12. On a side note i'm still fairly depressed..I get the odd breakthrough in emotion yet i just cant be fukin arsed doing anything...Its a strong apathy feeling..I do get slight feelings of hope that come through only to be over shadowed by this apathy..
  13. I did Try risperidone many years ago mixed with paroxetine and i didnt take well to it...Felt very edgy/Nervous..Possibly akasthesia but just didnt know what it was back then... I have thought about abilify or even serequel maybe?? I'm just getting as much info together so that i'm going to the appointment prepared
  14. Wasn't sure about my wording there. No idea how unusual it is. So, bit of research. 7.6% of people have experienced sleep paralysis. 28.3% of students and 31.9% of psychiatric patients. Not sure why it's more common in students and psychiatric patients. Maybe that's to do with drugs, both the medicinal and recreational kind. Just over a third of people with panic disorder get sleep paralysis, and white people are less likely to experience it for some reason. I haven't experienced it myself but the malevolent presence seems to be a common experience for those that do. Wherever I've seen it mention it's inevitably accompanied by this picture.
  15. Well, the latest is that my appointment this past Tuesday was cancelled due to my therapist having a family emergency......I have another appointment scheduled for this coming Tuesday.....I will update then what she plans.......
  16. Just to add...My reason for wanting Antipsychotics alongside and not just Purely Andtidepressants is because a lot of my anxieties have a paranoid/bizzare element to them..I can only describe them as delusional "Content" But not delusional in nature as i dont 100% believe them..However when i get really depressed they become more convincing and terrifying...
  17. So ive got an appointment with a Pdoc...Its for the end of the month I'm going private and tbh his price is quite fair...Hes charging 250 english pounds were most are between 300-350..i've looked him up...He has plenty of credentials.. I explained on the phone i already have diagnosis and my reason for visit is more around medication/treatment...I said i would bring in previous notes from various Pysches over the years which outlines my main issues/diagnosis etc I'm also gunna write down various medications i've been on in the past ..Which ones i found helped which ones i found didnt help and also show him medication and various med combos i've been perscribed over the years... I'm currently taking Mirtazapine 30mg which i've been on for about 8/9 years..I dont find it works anymore so i'm gunna right down various meds/med combos i've found online that address my problems and show him them and see what he thinks in regards perscribing..My main issue at the moment is depression which i believe is caused by OCD...I dont believe its a primary depression and my notes seem to back that up... Anyways an example of what i'm gunna do is right down say Mirt plus abilify as its indicated for OCD is abilify and explain my fears of it etc My expectations and what his view is..I'm gunna do this with as many combos i can find online that address OCD/Depression and go there ready prepared so that the session isnt wasted on drawing up medications...I'm also up for completely ditching Mirt and finding a new combo altogether... In the past SSRIs have tended not to agree with me...Clomipramine worked up untill it didnt...I got some hypomania from it and also Abnormal ECG and other side effects which ment i had to come off it....Its the only med i'd say that seemed to work quite well for me..It was suggested quite a while back to retry it but i had it in my head the previous side effects so declined it.... Anyways i'd like some suggestions from folks in here on what medications/Combos worked and helped you...I think i'm gunna look down the road of AD+ Anti psychotic which to be honest i'm shit scared of (Long Story) But that fear has grown weaker...I'd just like some real life experiences of what meds helped that i can look into it and possibly right down and take to the psyche....I know that we all react different to certain meds and what works for one might not work for another i just want to get myself stocked up with as much info as i can... I'm not looking into therapy..Ive had so much of it over the years and its just not for me...I am however looking into getting another counsellor to see once a month... So in closing i'd like some feedback from anyone on what meds preferably Med combos AD+ AP helped you the most for OCD/Depression... Many Thanks Jamie
  18. I have BIID. It is not a form of OCD. I have suffered from since I was about eight years old. I have always felt like and want to have polio paralysis, disrupting motor neurons that control muscles in my leg. I want to need leg braces to walk. New research is leaning more to BIID being a neuro-psychological condition stemming from problem in the right side of the brain.
  19. Last week
  20. This is usually explained by sleep paralysis. Your brain turns off your body when you're sleeping and dreaming. If that didn't happen you'd be flailing all over the place when you have a nightmare, or even when you want to stroke that cute puppy in your dreams. Some people wake up when they're still paralysed, which can be a frightening experience I believe. I don't know if it's related to psychosis or PTSD but people without these conditions can experience the same thing. Maybe the meds? Dunno, but it's not such a unusual thing.
  21. Nope. Hope I'm wrong. Sometimes I'm throwing fuel on a fire which is so dim that it needs an accelerant. Or so it seems. Alcohol does unfortunately make me feel more comfortable in my own skin, which overcomes all the crappy thoughts I have about me not being worthwhile and enables me to actually feel like a member of the human race for a while. And that's rubbish. I am a good drunk. Not much of a boast I know. Sometimes end up shouting insults at bigots online but fuck them. Drunk enough to care. Overcome my cynical, paranoid, fearful thoughts for a while. Be the person I might be if I wasn't damaged and neurotic as fuck. Boo hoo. Sorry, didn't mean to sound so whingey. The old self fulfilling prophecy. I know. I've been blessed with so much self-awareness that it hurts. Fitting in and being loved seems so unrealistic that I might as well go with self-destruction. Just don't want to be alone, but don't know how to be anything else.
  22. So suicide ideation right? Not self injury? Just wondering what miserable stuff to moan about. Self-injury. Haven't done it for a long time but the thought still pops up every now and again. Suicide ideation? Yes. Like Disappear77 said it can be a comfort. A way out. When I feel down there's always that option, shit though it is. Not trying to encourage the idea but I think that is a big part of why we think of it when things seem so crap. There's always that way out. There's better options probably, although they don't always seem obvious at the time. Cheer up! Recently, I've been thinking that I should kill myself after completing my degree, which at least gives me three years to come up with a better idea. Mature student doing fine. Will probably get a first with decent grades. Which might sound arrogant but even if that's true I don't think it's enough to unfuck my life. Go out on a high. Too late to make a difference. Never going to be a proper human being. So I'm capable of better things, which means I've wasted much of my life. So erm ... that's how my brain works.
  23. The term body integrity identity disorder (BIID) or BID describes the extremely rare phenomenon of persons who desire the amputation of one or more healthy limbs or who desire a paralysis. Some of these persons mutilate themselves; others ask surgeons for an amputation or for the transection of their spinal cord. Psychologists and physicians explain this phenomenon in quite different ways; but a successful psychotherapeutic or pharmaceutical therapy is not known. Lobbies of persons suffering from BIID explain the desire for amputation in analogy to the desire of transsexuals for surgical sex reassignment. Medical ethicists discuss the controversy about elective amputations of healthy limbs: on the one hand the principle of autonomy is used to deduce the right for body modifications; on the other hand the autonomy of BIID patients is doubted. Neurological results suggest that BIID is a brain disorder producing a disruption of the body image, for which parallels for stroke patients are known. If BIID were a neuropsychological disturbance, which includes missing insight into the illness and a specific lack of autonomy, then amputations would be contraindicated and must be evaluated as bodily injuries of mentally disordered patients. Instead of only curing the symptom, a causal therapy should be developed to integrate the alien limb into the body image.

  24. Body Integrity Dysmorphia; Body Image integrity Disorder; Wannabe, needing partially paralyzed legs; Low Vision; absent fingers & thumb. All of these are physical needs that I must have to feel physically complete. Since I was eight years old I have wanted to have paralysis from poliomyelitis - requiring full legs braces and forearm crutches to walk. As I aged, the need for missing fingers and the need for significant hyper-myopia became part of the mental anguish of a mental psychological neurological disorder referred to as BIID or BID.

     

    871B0651-66FA-4F37-96BE-BFA7F7F4AC89.jpeg

    8F87D916-35CB-46EE-BDD2-96FA33B44A7D.jpeg

    EBA3165A-CEBC-46AB-BE4A-676296951E75.jpeg

  25. I've had this "malevolent presence" issue for a few weeks now. I told my psych today and she added trazodone. She didn't seem too worried about it but I guess I'm worried that it could be a symptom of psychosis. Is it? Or is it more related to PTSD (which is my primary diagnosis)? Right now I'm taking paxil 10mg, buspar 30 mg, prazosin 2mg and now trazodone (I forget what dosage).
  26. I think obsessive rumination is probably found in some form in most anxiety disorders, just with different presentations/triggers. Panic can involve worry over a common theme, social anxiety causes repetitive concern with going out etc. I don’t think the term “obsessive” means it is totally limited to ocd or ocpd
  27. I've not really had totally fucked up things said like some in the comments but i've had some pretty dismisive and downplaying comments said a couple that spring to mind A therapist in a OCD group telling the people there "Everyones a bit OCD" Found that very downplaying...I actually said something to her over it In my notes one Pdoc acussing me of still taking Mirtazapine at 45mg after claiming to have gone med free which i actually had...So in effect calling me a liar I've tried drugs in the past...Nothing heavy yet in my notes it makes it out to be worse than what it was.. Theres a few bits and bats of other stuff but i'd have to look through my notes as some of it is in there.. On the whole nothing heavy but a few mistruths/Downplaying symptoms and twisting of words of things i've said
  1. Load more activity
×
×
  • Create New...