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    • well clozapine is certainly doing its job and so is modafinil. i've experienced on previous occasions of taking modafinil that the effects tend to reduce a bit due to tolerance. i will keep this updated about that aspect as well. 
    • I must have missed that. Good idea! Sorry! 
    • I have - problem is i won’t be very helpful because it was in the summer while I was having other issues... and the number one common summer issue for me is irritability 
    • I've had dreams where I can't move or speak, and I've woken up and been unable to move or speak for a while.  I also had an awake paralysis before I went to sleep where a shadowy figure came at me from across the room and I couldn't move.  I think they are all related to how your brain paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams, and those combined with hallucinations that can happen right before you fall asleep or shortly after waking can be terrifying.  But it's all natural byproducts of the body's normal processes, from what I have read.
    • I've tried most all the stimulants (Ritalin, Dexedrine, d-amphetamine, Vyvanse, Adderall, Provigil) and seem to do best on formulations based on d-amphetamine while Provigil, for me, works more on getting me awake but does not lift mood much. Sometimes I use it to start with, not wanting to waste Adderall just to wake up .  Tramadol risks , truely, serotonin syndrome if mixed with some other serotonin affecting meds so I have avoided it. As I am now in long term remission from depression I have not tried ketamine infusions nor ECT.

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  2. well clozapine is certainly doing its job and so is modafinil. i've experienced on previous occasions of taking modafinil that the effects tend to reduce a bit due to tolerance. i will keep this updated about that aspect as well.
  3. I have - problem is i won’t be very helpful because it was in the summer while I was having other issues... and the number one common summer issue for me is irritability
  4. I've had dreams where I can't move or speak, and I've woken up and been unable to move or speak for a while. I also had an awake paralysis before I went to sleep where a shadowy figure came at me from across the room and I couldn't move. I think they are all related to how your brain paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams, and those combined with hallucinations that can happen right before you fall asleep or shortly after waking can be terrifying. But it's all natural byproducts of the body's normal processes, from what I have read.
  5. I've tried most all the stimulants (Ritalin, Dexedrine, d-amphetamine, Vyvanse, Adderall, Provigil) and seem to do best on formulations based on d-amphetamine while Provigil, for me, works more on getting me awake but does not lift mood much. Sometimes I use it to start with, not wanting to waste Adderall just to wake up . Tramadol risks , truely, serotonin syndrome if mixed with some other serotonin affecting meds so I have avoided it. As I am now in long term remission from depression I have not tried ketamine infusions nor ECT.
  6. Still pretty good. Going to try to take a nap. Noticed by my posts and blog that I was sort of sinking before. If I do truly cycle this has been the mildest cycle ever.
  7. Vyvanse is a variant on Adderall - longer acting, same base stimulant.
  8. @Messenger99, I see you're new here - welcome to CrazyBoards. Please take some time to look around and familiarize yourself with the boards. You'll find that many people here have been struggling with MI (mental illness) for a long time and community-wide we have tried or investigated most if not all common on- and off-label treatments for most common MI. That's not to say we know everything! We're interested in each other's experiences both of MI and of various treatments, and of course information about cutting-edge research, etc. Please feel free to start posts seeking information about others' experiences, and/or sharing your own. That said, it's not generally good board etiquette to jump in and derail someone else's thread. The OP, @climber47, was not seeking advice about treatments - and in fact, they have tried many non-traditional options and shared their journey with us, which you would find if you did a search on the boards for some of the treatment options you list. Beyond that, your second response - as @dancesintherain noted - was not very helpful, given the responses you'd received to your initial query.
  9. Yesterday
  10. did you miss the responses where people said that either they had tried them or didn't have the financial ability to? I appreciate the info, but it seems a bit off in conjunction with the answers you got.
  11. except for once or twice..maybe 3 times, that's generally my breaking point too.
  12. There's Capgras delusion, where you feel like a loved one has been replaced by an impostor. Not your case, I know. But these delusions (there's also the one where your limbs have been swapped) are oddities and mysteries, and quite specific. It's possible that there is such a known mental disorder where someone has lost a baby, but I've never heard of it, and you've done your research too. I've been reading enough Lacan to the point of risking harm by armchair psychoanalyzing people with theories that are known to be basically made up. That said, there is the concept of the "quilting point" -- the button or knot or whatever in knitwork that arrests the free motion of the thread and makes a fixed point. In Lacanian psychoanalysis (you may as well read "in astrology" from here on) the thread is the "signifying chain" by which everything basically refers to everything else. The quilting point is a fixed thing that guarantees a stable meaning in an otherwise ever-shifting web of symbolic relationships with people. To oversimplify, it would seem that the dead baby is something you can actually count on. The horrible truth about the universe is that everything changes and you can't dive twice into the same river etc. But just to say this in a philosophical manner doesn't fix the fact that it hurts and we have a great need for something guaranteed and fixed. Someone else's "dead baby" might be their college football team that they can't leave behind long after they graduate. That's your horoscope for today. I don't know what advice to give except take your lithium now and forever even if you knew that stopping it would bring order to the universe and destroy Thanos or whatever. I hope your situation improves somehow.
  13. I get tired after a run of sleeping 3hrs/night. (The first nights you wake up more energized, not less). But I'm basically in long-term remission with mild symptoms.
  14. Vyvanse is much better than adderal (sp) as far as my experience and others I’ve read here...also many others here have noted it helped their depression more than others. Viibryd is not a stimulant. It is a stimulating AD though. Good luck on your increased Ritalin!
  15. I always recommend the Young Mania Ratings Scale for "am I going Maria Bamford" moments like this. https://psychology-tools.com/test/young-mania-rating-scale
  16. That is why I suggested putting more than one manufacturer on the script.
  17. Provided below are links relevant to all the aforementioned modalities. It is possible to research & locate progressive/non-conformist, empathetic & compassionate psychiatrists who WILL prescribe Tramadol for TRD in the U.S. based on documentable history of a patient’s failure to respond to &/or experiencing intolerable side-effects from numerous attempts with multiple typical/standard anti-depressants. I HAVE successfully researched & located same in past via internet resources & will post results when I can. Stimulant medications often work when typically-prescribed meds or other treatments prove futile. There are a limited number of clinics offering Ketamine infusions/injections throughout the U.S., some seeking TRD subjects for discounted or free trial administration per my understanding. Non-medicinal brain-stimulation treatments are often remarkable, though not always. I ALSO NEGLECTED TO MENTION A GROUNDBREAKING SURGICAL TREATMENT (VNS—VAGUS NERVE STIMULATION), also linked below. Obviously, this is a last resort, but success rates are PROMISING. I urge you to read in detail & consider pursuing any or all of these meds/treatments (NOTE—THESE ARE NOT IN ANY PARTICULAR ORDER): CNS STIMULANT MEDS Begin with Vyvanse, then try Adderall. KEEP TRYING OTHER MEDS IN SAME CLASS. TRAMADOL (ULTRAM) https://www.drugs.com/comments/tramadol/for-depression.html https://www.drugs.com/comments/tramadol/for-depression.htmlMODAFINIL (PROVIGIL) https://www.drugs.com/comments/modafinil/https://www.newsweek.com/why-ketamine-antidepressant-1391643 KETAMINE INFUSION, INJECTION, & ***NOW AVAILABLE AS NASAL SPRAY*** https://www.newsweek.com/why-ketamine-antidepressant-1391643 ECT https://labblog.uofmhealth.org/industry-dx/ect-emerges-as-cost-effective-for-treatment-resistant-depression https://www.bbrfoundation.org/content/cloud-has-been-lifted-what-deep-brain-stimulation-tells-us-about-depression-and-depression VNS https://www.webmd.com/depression/vagus-nerve-stimulation TMS https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/transcranial-magnetic-stimulation/about/pac-20384625
  18. @Rabbit37 that sounds delicious!! mm, now i want mozzarella...
  19. Fatigue is typically another one that passes with time. It may linger in a sub-level kind of way but it won't be noticeable in the way that it is now.
  20. Heat stroke not so much. However, body temperature dysregulation is not uncommon among atypical antipsychotics. Latuda I believe has a similar side effect. As does Vraylar.
  21. @echolocation , lol, salt, pepper and a fork 😊 and also, my daughter introduced me to burrata, it’s a whole milk mozzarella ball, about the size of a poached egg, and inside is a fresh soft curd, much like ricotta cheese. That, drizzled with olive oil, and tomatoes and fresh basil is mind-numbingly delicious.
  22. Perhaps it was more accurately described as Sleep Paralysis? I was with my dad taking a LOT of medications, heavy ones. Like, a LOT. And I was so fogged up I was trapped and couldn't even speak coherently. I was trying to convey to him that I wanted to take less or even none at all, that I was pinned down mentally. It was like extreme dementia. It was terrifying. And I couldn't do more than breath heavily, impossible it was to actually make a noise or move. Anyone else ever come across sleep paralysis? Call it a sleeping hallucination.
  23. Started taking trazodone again. Weirdly, it’s working this time for sleep, and only 50mg. No hangover per se, feel okay when I get up, but I’m having weird bouts of really bad irritation and/or frustration. It comes on suddenly, too, I’ll be feeling okay, then the next minute want to hurl things at the wall. Usually starts late morning, maybe 13-14 hours after taking it. And not every day, but at least half the time. I didn’t have this prior to starting it, so thinking it’s gotta be the cause. Has anyone experienced this? It’s not bad enough to warrant calling pdoc, it was hard enough deciding to go back on a sleep med as it is. But it’s bad enough to sometimes resort to Ativan to calm down.
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