Coronavirus: Because You Don’t Have Enough Crap On Your Mind
Friends, social distancing doesn’t get much better than internet relationships. We are all in this together. In that spirit, CrazyBoards is introducing a forum dedicated to dealing the Covid-19 outbreak. We want to collect all of the Coronavirus posts here, so that we can manage our responses most efficiently. You got questions? We got answers. You got answers? Someone needs them. Put on your virtual nitrile gloves and let’s do some hand-holding.
Have you been sipping warm water every 15 minutes? Gargled a cup of delicious bleach? Staying a full ten feet away from all Chinese food? With so much coronavirus crazy talk swirling around, we're not surprised. Luckily, there are professional, doctor-like people who actually know what the hell they're talking about. We'll try to set you straight here. Otherwise you'll end up going to Snopes.com for medical advice.
This is a great time not to own a television. CNN is now the Coronavirus News Network. Fox is planning on changing its first letter to a P. Even the Count on Sesame Street has started going, "One... two... three! Three coronavirus cases in Oklahoma! Ahahaha!" [lightning flash, sound of thunder]. Is it all too much? You bet it is. Come in and tell us all about it while you unfrazzle.
For a few of us here, social distancing is a way of life, but some of you weirdos actually like being around humans. This 'social distancing' thing is going to be tough. Is three feet enough? How long is six feet really? For that matter, how long is a foot? My foot isn't a foot long, so wtf? Do we have to stay that far apart vertically? What if I'm a dwarf and he's a giant? Why can't we just measure by smoots? (No, really, google it.) And we can't shake hands anymore? Wait - you said to bump elbows, but that means we're too close, so wtf? I can do the namaste thing except I don't know how to pronounce it and I throw out my back if I try to bow, but I can do a Vulcan salute so Live Long and Prosper. Do I have to wear the ears, though? If you can't do without your touchy-feely fix, this is your board. We're crammed in here like sardines.
Hey,this is no big deal. We've all stripped naked in front of our computer while somebody else watched, and– what? Oh... Forget I said that. Still, technology is useful stuff,and you may be able to get medical care without the wait. If, that is, it's plugged in right. And the software works. And you know what questions to ask. Is it okay to show that boil on your backside? Hell if I know. Maybe somebody does - try your luck here.
Theonly thing we have to fear is fear itself - and being crushed under the metric tonne of toilet paper you just bought. Did you snag enough hand sanitizer to float a tugboat? Enough rice to throw at every wedding in Chicago this year? If you have a battle scar from combat over the powdered milk, please come in and calm your nerves - there are others here too. This is also the place to ask questions about how to prepare safely and reasonably.
You still have to earn a living, so get the hell off reddit, Pinterest, YouTube, and Facebook and at least remember to move the mouse every few minutes to make it look like you’re getting things done. Anyone got suggestions?
Well, how is this fair? You haven’t left your house in a week, no one who isn’t a guinea pig has sneezed near you, you carry rolled-up Clorox wipes behind your ears, and you’re still getting ingrown toenails and eye boogers. Tell us about them here. Remember we don’t diagnose. We sympathize and share practical information. (Soak the toe in warm salt water.)
You’ve already watched the paint dry, and you finished Netflix. So what are you doing to keep yourself amused? Knitting? Painting? Dressing your dog up like J. Edgar Hoover? Post pictures of your projects here.