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About Butterflykisses

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  1. For psychosis definitely Invega, for mood Zyprexa
  2. I took Prolixin for a long time for my SZA, it helped a little but gave me terrible tremors, I don't recall significant weight gain nor a huge appetite.
  3. I have found a combination of exposure therapy, CBT, and medication (Paxil 60mg for me) has helped immensely. There are also workbooks that are helpful.
  4. I hope your treatment team can help lower this death sensor. Has the clozapine helped this at all?
  5. Butterflykisses

    Trazadone for sleep

    Trazodone made me sleep worse. My heart was racing, I couldn't fall asleep for hours and when I finally did it was like I was still aware of everything, just had my eyes closed. I also got sleep paralysis. I couldn't move my arms or legs, very scary. And it made my mania worse. I find what works for me is finding the root of why I am not sleeping, rather than treating the sleeping issue. For me it was mania/mixed episode. Once I treated that, my sleep has improved drastically.
  6. Jesus is my strength, my stronghold, my friend, my savior. He has taken what satan meant for harm and worked it out for my good. Every bad circumstance or situation worked out for my good. I am a better person because of Him. You may or may not believe in Him, but I do, and it's important to me, however, I accept people for who they are and where they're at in the journey of life. All lives matter. <3
  7. Butterflykisses

    What are you listening to right now?

    Levitate by Twenty one pilots
  8. PHP is amazing. Yes, most people suffer from depression and anxiety, however there are quite a few who have have bipolar w/ psychosis. I also have severe OCD, and talking about my compulsions and having group therapy is so helpful. I also talk about my psychosis. Everyone treats me great and respects me. The only way my PHP can admit you to IP is if you are a danger to yourself or others. Typical laws. Also, we don't really talk about diagnoses we talk about symptoms, family situations, relationships, careers, struggles, coping skills, DBT/CBT, etc. I also see a psychiatrist weekly. I am fortunate that I am on my dads insurance as a disabled adult child so its reasonable. I wish you the best of luck in your journey. Clozapine might be the answer to helping your SZA, or it might not. Talk to your treatment team, and give it time.
  9. When I was on clozapine for 1.5 years it really truly helped my psychosis. However, looking back now I was very numb. I became emotionless, to the point that now, being on the right medications (I am in PHP and it has virtually saved my life), I now get ready, clean, fix myself up, and can actually cry, feel things, it can be hard at times, but it feels good, to feel. You may have a completely different experience. It may take awhile to see a difference, you might not be on the right dose. It's all up in the air. But what I found that works is always being honest with your treatment team. They usually have good judgement and can decide if the medication is working for you or if you need a different dose or be off of it completely and on to something else. I found that not being honest about the reality of my symptoms, because I am a people pleaser hurt me in the long run. My apartment was filthy, I wasn't bathing, I slept all the time...yes I was psychosis free (mostly) but I paid a high price. Now I am psychosis free (mostly) and have good hygiene. Wellness if possible with this illness. Sometimes it just takes time. Message me if you need to, I am always wanting to help <3
  10. New cocktail that seems to really be working for me: Depakote: 1000mg-1500mg - Mania/Mood Zyprexa 10mg - Mania/Mood Neurontin 1200mg - Anxiety Invega 6mg - Psychosis Paxil ER 12.5mg - Obsessions/Compulsions/Anxiety Prazosin 5mg - Nightmares
  11. Butterflykisses

    Need A New AD

    I really like Paxil ER. I take a very small dose. I find it really helps me with depression, motivation, and anxiety. That being said, I still have issues with my OCD, a higher dose might help that but I don't want to risk mania.
  12. Butterflykisses

    How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Trying to figure things out. This month has been the worst month of my life. Two psych IP stays, lithium toxicity, word salad disaster, probably ruined any potential friendships with my roommates because of my Schizoaffective instability.
  13. I am so sorry you're going through this. For what its worth, like @mikl_pls said, you have us. I really hope the zyprexa helps you...and I know how living arrangements can reek havoc on our lives and how it can result in us isolating. Thinking calming thoughts <3
  14. Meant to put this in my blog..sorry
  15. I need my clozaril. I am desperate. If you want more info read my new blog post. I am suffering. I need help. Please help me.