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coraline

Member
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About coraline

  • Rank
    you and your third dimension

Profile Information

  • Gender
    female
  • Location
    floating in space
  • Interests
    Music. Creating art via paint or what ever strikes my fancy. Reading and writing,even when it's bad.Exploring the universe and possibilities beyond my mind. Doing whatever it takes to get and remain stable all while cursing the ones who throw meds at me and challenge my thinking. Moonlight and stars. The sky and its ever changing colors. Being near and walking on the beach preferably tropical,although I do enjoy my local ice cold waters. Collecting things I find..rocks,puzzle pieces,cards,bread ties,pamphlets,sugar packets,change..maybe I'm a mild freegan klepto. Anything Hello Kitty.Helping and supporting people even when I'm not feeling well myself. Venturing into the outdoors when possible. I have an awesome red cruiser bike named Vera I ride in circles,straight lines,ocasional left and right turns.She has white wall tires and peddle breaks and a kickstand and is easy going and we've been on many adventures. I have a wonderful loving doggie named Bailey that helps me get through tough times and can always bring a smile to my face. We go on walks around the lake and enjoy cuddling on the couch. He has an obsession with pine cones and hunts them down in the yard then does a flying leap into the house so happy.

Recent Profile Visitors

4905 profile views
  1. I go to the Dr this morning to get my wound looked at to see how it's healing..last Friday they took out the packing..it hurt like hell..they sent me home with bandages to change it on my own which is hard..hopefully I'm doing a good job..it looks pretty gruesome..please dont get infected..I just want this to be over..

  2. Mine wants me to text her if I need her for things..mostly details of what's going on.. But she wants to see me..she will get me in quickly though.. She won't do prescriptions over the phone unfortunately.. Even if it's a med increase.. I wish she would..it would help..
  3. I can text her but she will only see me by appointment... And right now I just can't afford to see her.. So I am going to have to wait.. I had to buy Bailey's meds which in my opinion is more important.. Plus his vet visit for his blood work.. I know my mom would help.. But we are mail ordering his meds and they are still not here.. So that might be emergency money for Bailey.. I know I need to learn to advocate for myself better.. I do on occasion.. But when it comes to meds..I know nothing and go with the flow..
  4. I'm not feeling any better on the addition of risperidone.. I know I'm on a low dose..But I don't want to go higher..I'm somewhat dizzy and not sure if it's the cause.. I honestly just want to ask my pdoc about increasing the Zyprexa.. I don't know though..I always feel like it's not in my control.. I have been through hell with this never-ending infection.. With 2 antibiotics that did nothing.. Then finally getting the removal..the pain was awful.. I still don't trust that they got it all..or didn't put something else in there.. I don't think this procedure will fix my thoughts..
  5. I definitely have trouble with both of these things.. Getting me to leave the house is like pulling teeth.. I can barely make eye contact with the pharmacy technicians.. On walks with my dog Bailey I often look down.. I feel I'm being watched so I fear direct eye contact and leaving my house.. I have yet to find a good solution to this.. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone..
  6. My Dr appointment is tomorrow..she is supposed to remove this damn thing..But it's still infected..I've been on these new antibiotics for only 5 days now..I feel so damn gross..I doubt she can do anything..I will probably have to finish out these antibiotics and reschedule...they haven't made me sick thankfully..but I've been taking extra care of myself..I seriously angered whoever put this here..But at least Bailey is healed from me talking to the universe..God..Jesus..spirits..whoever was listening..

    1. coraline

      coraline

      I am so freaking out about this appointment...I have to leave soon..I don't know what they are going to do to me..I hate this..

  7. Went to the Dr yesterday..my infection has gotten worse..the antibiotics I've been on aren't working..they prescribed me something stronger that sounds like it's going to tear up my system..I have to take a probiotitc with it...I'm supposed to get this damn thing removed on the 13th..But can't if it's still infected...it hurts like hell...I'm a mess physically and mentally...

    1. Wonderful.Cheese

      Wonderful.Cheese

      Oh no. I’m so sorry cora. That sounds awful. I hope the new pill will go ok and that it won’t be infected by the 13th. I’m sorry it hurts so much. Ouch. Thinking of you. 

    2. coraline

      coraline

      Thanks cheese..I appreciate the support..this thing is making my mind a mess..I just want it gone..

  8. Today is Bailey's vet appointment for his labs...hopefully the results are good..I've been doing everything the vet said to do since last time..

    1. CrazyRedhead

      CrazyRedhead

      I hope he gets a good report.....You are doing a good job taking care of him...!!

    2. Wonderful.Cheese

      Wonderful.Cheese

      How did it go? I hope well. Good job at taking care of little Bailey! Thinking of him and you too cora!

    3. coraline

      coraline

      Bailey's test results came back normal!!!!!!! Yay!!!!..now he doesn't have to see the vet for labs for 3 months..

  9. Waiting in the doctors office I started feeling watched and thinking there were cameras.. I thought it was odd that there was a small square mirror in there..like they were monitoring me through it.. The longer I waited the more these thoughts consumed me.. I don't know how I remain pleasant when they go through their questions.. While I'm actually freaking out.. It's like I'm scared to unveil what's going on.. She asked health related questions.. They know what meds I'm on and my diagnosis..
  10. Went to my Dr yesterday to get my what I believe to be a tracking device to get looked at that is all messed up and swollen..they call it a sebaceous cyst..it's infected..it hurts like hell..now I'm on antibiotics that are making me feel sick..I swear since I have an appointment to get it removed I've angered them..it's been fine until I made the appointment to get it removed..there's no other explanation..I feel like hell..

  11. It is very anxiety provoking to get it all out there.. Good job on doing it!!..
  12. I went through a few psychiatrists before getting the correct diagnosis.. I held back information about symptoms I was experiencing.. I didn't really know how to explain myself..I kind of just agreed with what they would say.. I was ashamed of what was going on..due to the abusive relationship I was in at the onset of my illness.. He would dismiss my symptoms..yet act concerned..I was always left confused.. I am a shy person as well and it has taken a lot of bravery for me to be honest with my psychiatrist I've been seeing since.. I've been seeing her since 2011.. I now have the correct diagnosis..she is trying hard to work with me on a treatment plan with meds.. I still have a tendency to withhold information..I get scared.. But my best advice is to not do that..be honest..write lists of symptoms for your appointments.. I am currently still struggling with stability.. I keep trying different meds..different doses..she really tries her best.. Some ways to cope is to find activities that you enjoy.. Like exercising.. Listening to music.. Anything artistic.. Watching movies.. Deep breathing.. Writing in a journal.. Reading.. Those are just a few suggestions.. I hope that this helps..
  13. Something really weird happened yesterday when I went to pick up my meds..I was a total wreck feeling tortured..and the girl behind the counter said I seemed better than the last time she saw me..she was in a good mood so I think she was projecting that on me..I am in no way feeling better..I wanted to just unload what was going on to her..the whole experience was odd..

  14. I don't think that killing yourself would solve any problems.. So please consider your life more important.. I know depression can talk us into such places..spiral our thoughts towards ending our lives.. But there's no such thing as overstaying your welcome in your life.. You matter..so please hold on..stay strong.. I hate seeing people struggle.. You're always welcome here to share your thoughts.. People care about you.. Want you safe..
  15. coraline

    did MI make you start drinking coffee?

    I've drank coffee since high school.. But I have definitely increased how much I drink since being on all these meds that make me foggy.. I've lost count on how many cups I drink..But mom and I make 3 pots in the morning..then 1 in the late afternoon.. I still manage to sleep by 9pm every night..so it doesn't interrupt my sleep..
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