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About Geek

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    living better through chemistry

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  1. Geek

    Online therapy

    I have not done online therapy but I have done a couple of virtual visits with my Tdoc when a regular appointment wasn’t possible. I’ve been seeing her for 3 or 4 years now, so we already had a relationship and good rapport. I don’t like the virtual visits, but I can’t decide if they’re better than phone sessions. The problem for me was in creating a safe place and feeling like she was present with me. I couldn’t get over that I was doing therapy in my living room... so the neighbors come and go and the dog barks at the UPS truck and I was just very aware of where I was. In her office, I can (now) let go of a lot of that and be a little less vigilant. Of course, it took time to get there, so maybe I’d be able to get there with the virtual visits too. I also struggled with not feeling like she was present or connecting with me. She couldn’t see my body language, nor I hers. I struggle to look her in the face when talking and usually talk to her feet or the leg of the table next to her chair... but I didn’t know where to avert my eyes to, because if it wasn’t on screen, it was jarring and reminded me we weren’t in her office. If it was on screen, it was her face... and she wore glasses (which she doesn’t normally do unless I give her something to read), and the screen of her computer was reflecting off her glasses so I couldn’t really see her eyes or facial expressions. The HIPAA-compliant platform we used was pretty easy to deal with on my end, but there were still a few times where the connection cut out or glitched and one of us would have to ask the other to repeat themselves. Again, this was jarring and made me feel less... understood, connected and... held.
  2. I’ve felt this way too. No solutions here, unfortunately. Just empathy.
  3. I went to report a comment on a blog. It asked why I wanted to report the comment but the only option was “This comment is okay, but I want to tell a moderator about it” (with a text box to add notes). Dunno if it’s intentional or not but generally I don’t report comments that I think are okay... I just fear it’s some kind of prioritizing mechanism and is broken.
  4. VE, I had carpal tunnel that bad. Surgery (both hands at the same time) changed my life. If you have any ability to get it done, don’t walk, run to the surgeon. Seriously, I had surgery in 2012 and haven’t had any pain since. Prior to that I was using modified computer setups and constantly downing painkillers. I was nervous to do both hands at once, but my dr was right - even in the bandages right after the procedure I had more mobility than before the surgery! Now you can hardly see the scars, they’re hidden in the creases in my palms.
  5. RIGHT?!! I mean... I know I'm an engineer and physics comes easier to me than to many, but... really??
  6. When I flew to Montreal in November, I asked pdoc to prescribe the motion sickness patch, or even zofran (which isn't supposed to help with motion-sickness, but I'd be willing to try it)... she said she couldn't prescribe it, that the pharmacist would question it coming from a psychiatrist. It's kind of out of her wheelhouse, I guess? Which seemed kinda odd, but whatever. I get it. So after losing $30 to that nonsense, do I risk another $30 with a walk-in doc or $65 with an urgent care doc? She told me that my request was like saying I wanted to go on a road trip but I didn't want to drive or be a passenger. 😡
  7. I used a telehealth app through my health insurance to do a "virtual video visit" with a doctor today. My job is sending me overseas this weekend and I asked for help treating motion sickness that I get on airplanes. I told the doc that my usual approach for short domestic flights is to take meclizine, and not eat for 12 hours prior to the flight, or drink for 4 hours prior to the flight (or at all until after I land at my final destination). Usually this works and I don't puke. However, it's one thing to apply this to a (max) 2.5-3hr flight and another to about 12-13 hours of flight time (plus, unfortunately, a 6hr layover, but I digress). However, meclizine makes me drowsy and I will be traveling with a co-worker and need to drive approximately 3 hours in a foreign country directly after landing... so I feel like I need to not be overly dopey. The doc said I do not have motion sickness, because on airplanes ("unless there is turbulence") "unlike a boat or a car, there is no motion". I said turbulence makes it worse, as does sitting toward the back of the plane (which naturally moves more - planes kind of pivot about the wings). Additionally, I get sick on boats and when I'm a passenger in a car on winding or hilly roads (especially if I'm in the back seat, but it happens in the front seat too). The doc said that "nausea can be caused by many things" and "since there is no motion" this is primarily an anxiety problem I should raise with my psychiatrist. I said it's not anxiety. I am not anxious about flying, I am anxious about puking. My psychiatrist had instructed me to take 1mg Xanax prior to flying and it has no impact on whether or not I puke. Doc was skeptical. I tried to explain again that I am prone to nausea and vomiting - I get it as a side effect to meds and anesthesia. She said that's proof that it's not motion sickness because, again, "there's no motion." I asked about trying the scopolamine patch. She said that will make me drowsy too. I said I've used it before for nausea from IV Ketamine and it doesn't make me drowsy. She ignored me. Doc said I should see a GI doc and/or an ENT doc. In the meantime I should take B12 ("safe to use because pregnant women use it, and they get nauseous a lot") and/or ginger supplements (tried that; doesn't help - I've also tried the pressure point seasickness bracelets, which don't work either). *facedesk*
  8. Geek

    grumble pharmacist grumble

    I agree that this guy was rude. Asking once is one thing... multiple times, and then bringing the bottle up anyway is overkill. Regardless of your medication needs, you deserve to be treated with respect. Furthermore, it is always always always your choice to take or not take your meds, and to fill or not fill them. It's possible he just had a bad day, but that doesn't mean that he was reasonable in how he treated you. The tech seemed to handle things well. I hope you continue to get to deal with her.
  9. I’m interested to know this also. My family recently put down our dog who was on expensive heart medication. We were able to give the remaining meds to the vet pharmacy who would give them (couldn’t sell them) to those who couldn’t afford them. It would be nice if such a thing were available for our meds. I’ve sometimes had sealed bottles that I couldn’t use.
  10. Geek

    Naltrexone for SI

    I took Naltrexone for reducing SH for quite a while. The effects were... ambiguous. My urges come and go as it is, varying to some extent with my mood. I’m not sure Naltrexone made a substantial enough difference to be worth the monthly copay for me.
  11. Geek

    what's your CBT look like?

    I’ve never done worksheets in individual therapy - only in group sessions like IOP/PHP. CBT with my current Tdoc is informal and mixed in with various other approaches. Very commonly, she’ll identify or push me to identify cognitive distortions as I say them. “I can’t do xyz so I’m a failure” - she might say something like “are you sure?” Or “is that the only option?” Or even, if I’m pretty stuck, “that’s pretty black and white” We talk about facts and feelings. She’ll have me re-phrase things to make it clear it’s a feeling, not a fact. Feelings are valid, but they’re not necessarily true. We talk through “cognitive restructuring” and “thought records” where if I say some blanket statement (“nobody likes me”) she’ll ask me to list proof for and against it, then re-phrase it to something more accurate (“I struggle to form close relationships with people at work”). ...but we don’t talk about the names of these skills. The closest we get is identifying distorted/irrational thoughts. Mostly we just talk through this stuff. So it’s less formal than on a worksheet in IOP.
  12. Last time I did a drug test was a pre-employment screen. I was taking 1mg Xanax nightly, and 70mg Vyvanse daily. I tested positive for amphetamines (as expected - the lab confirmed my Rx and then reported it as a negative), but the Xanax didn’t show up. I know Xanax has a different half-life than Klonopin, but *shrug* maybe the test just sucks?
  13. What's the difference between "can't" and "don't want to"? How do you know? I feel like, for myself, if my response to a situation is that I don't want to, well, suck it up and do it anyway... muscle through... But, if it's something I actually can't do, maybe I could let myself not do it with less... internal self-flagellation (maybe not though). Depression causes me to feel, often, that I can't do things when it is more accurate to say I don't want to. I don't know how to tell the difference.
  14. It’s generally pretty easy to get coupons for brand name Flonase. I find Walmart has the lowest price, much lower than my usual pharmacy. Edit: and I’m really glad that you were able to make stuff work for today!
  15. I also got a solid 4. I am having a hard time with the word "trauma" with respect to my childhood.