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About Sync

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    Fall down seven times. Get up eight.

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  1. Sync

    How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Anxious and guilty about my fight with my friend
  2. Basically, I have pretty bad attachment problems and tend to dramatically overvalue friendships and then feel absolutely gutted when the same level of importance isn't put on it by the other person. Recently I had a close friend of mine pull a very weird disappearing act on me, and was very dismissive when I explained how that was upsetting to me and how if she could shoot me a quick message to let me know before such things in the future it would be really helpful. She refused to do anything of the sort and basically seemed to think I was being super unreasonable. I've stepped back on talking to her as often as I used to because that seems more healthy but on an emotional level I really just don't want to be friends with her anymore. How can I tell if I am being unreasonable and placing unfair burdens on her because of my attachment issues? Everyone I talk to about this says I'm not being unreasonable, but they're only hearing my side of the story and they're my friends so they can't really be unbiased, you know?
  3. I'm on 150 and it hits me hard at this dose tbh. It likely depends on both your biological variations and which other meds you're on.
  4. Apparently Amazon sells counterfeit DBT workbooks lmao

    1. Antecedent


      Ha ha! Woot? In what sense, like they are copies of the real ones? Or they are unofficial books based on DBT? I read one that was written by someone who had been through DBT and just made a sort of bite sized version where she gave examples from her own life, it was nice.

    2. Sync


      Like a bad copy of the real one apparently. I went and bought the Marsha Linehan workbook there and then took a gander at the reviews and they were saying it's counterfeit, like it's not done by the original publisher and all the pages are wrong and everything's misspelled and such. Who counterfeits a DBT book? Honestly. Now I gotta return this book and buy a real one somewhere else.

    3. Antecedent


      What a pain!

  5. Feeling very acutely depressed tonight for the first time in a while

  6. So apparently I did super piss off my friend who was always "just really busy" every time I wanted to talk to her for the past two weeks. Wasn't being neurotic!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Sync


      Yeah I went back and read over the paragraph and I completely see how I missed it because I asked her how her day went, she told me a bunch of really mundane stuff, and in one sentence there was a (grandma died last week). And I just responded like she was telling me about a pleasant day she had because the rest of the paragraph was super pleasant. The grandma thing was thrown in extremely casually. But if I'd noticed it I would have commented for sure because I know she's close with her grandma. She also didn't respond to me herself when I asked and had instructed her girlfriend to only tell me if I specifically asked, and because I'm a friggin adult I was specifically not asking the gf because I didn't wanna drag her into whatever drama. The gf apparently felt really bad about it.

      The gf seems to think everything will be ok, so that's looking positive. I'm actually pretty mad at my friend now tbh, with some time to think about it. WTF is this? We're all pushing 30, why is anyone playing this kind of stupid mindgame? My friend also knows me well enough to know I'd never be intentionally callous about the death of a family member, and we'd talked about her grandma's failing health a lot before, so idk where any of this extreme lack of faith is coming from.

      Thanks for listening to my rants, lol. These are usually the people I'd vent to when someone's being ridiculous, so I'm kinda fumbling for a place to talk about it all.

    3. ananke


      People misread things all the time, I once had to rewrite an end of year essay in two days because I misread the question 😁Maybe slipping in the grandma thing was some sort of test? Like 'a true friend would notice immediately and ask me about it' but thats a pretty ridiculous test. Urgh at least the gf seems to understand this is silly. 

      Yeah it's bizarre. Sounds like there could be something else going on (with your friend) to make her act like this. If you've tried to make contact I guess you just have to wait for her to get back to you. Crazyboards is a great place to rant about people- couldn't pick any of you out in a line-up, so it's pretty anonymous!

    4. Sync


      It's super weird bc she's never been the type to pull stupid test shit like that. I don't know what's going on, but it doesn't really matter if she doesn't care enough about our friendship to talk about it. I'm hella mad now and not into chasing after people who don't wanna talk to me, so I guess it's radio silence for a while.

      Thanks again for listening :)

  7. My pdoc has me take it in the morning. I notice you have a PTSD dx, so I'll note that that's because she was worried taking it at night would make my nightmares more vivid. I have taken it at night before (when I've forgotten in the morning or something) without ill effects though.
  8. So I've never been on Ritalin and I don't know how valuable this information is, but my understanding is that Ritalin is an NDRI, and a stronger one than Wellbutrin. My pdoc specifically tried Wellbutrin with me despite my severe anxiety problems because of my positive/unusual response to caffeine. Caffeine has always helped me with my anxiety (contrary to what's expected), and I've been knocking it back in ever-more-Herculean doses since I was 16. My pdoc seemed to believe this boded well for my response to Wellbutrin (which has also helped my anxiety, contrary to what's expected.) I don't know the chemical/neurological structures involved so it may be different with Ritalin, but if you can't tolerate caffiene at all, that might be relevant to your response to other stimulants. In any case, I'd definitely bring up that concern with your pdoc and ask for their take on it.
  9. I'm very agitated in a very uncomfortable way.

  10. tbh, there may be some value in staying on 150mg for a while and then trying to go back up later if it ends up not being enough. My (wonderful) pdoc had me on 100mg for something like six weeks before increasing my dose at all beyond that. 100mg definitely helped, just not quite enough. Since you're having such extreme difficulty trying to adjust to the higher dose after being on the lower one for only six days, it might work out better to go up very slowly, like I did. Maybe your asshole pdoc would be willing to try such a thing?
  11. lmao, yep! that sounds really familiar. wildly all over the place, mood swings up the wazoo. tbh if I'd been anything less than extremely invested in making this medication work I probably would have gone off them during that time. Incredibly glad I stuck with it, fwiw. Do you have a pdoc you can mention this stuff to? I know lots of them are hard as hell to get ahold of for things like this.
  12. Yeah, I had insane anxiety, agitation, restlessness, etc when I first started Wellbutrin. No anxiety at 100mg IR, wildly out of control anxiety on 200mg IR, and somewhat less out of control anxiety on 150mg XL. Anxiety on 150mg for me persisted for a few weeks and then went away. As of now my anxiety is better than ever, although I do have some weird mild hypervigilance sx I didn't before. On the whole it's a fantastic med for me, though. Like a bulldozer for my depression. I'm great on 150mg, but like Argh I'm not taking it by itself. IIRC sertraline and bupropion increase each other's blood levels, so take that as you will. Yeah, had that too. I was real impulsive and angry at everything for a while there. Definitely overly "up." That also settled down, although I definitely remain more assertive and prone to action than I used to be, which is actually fantastic, frankly. 10/10 would suffer through those nasty couple of weeks again. If the 300 is really too overwhelming, you could always try the 150 for a bit to see if it works. IIRC 300 is the most common dose for monotherapy, but everyone's biology is different, so who knows. As far as IR vs XL, IR was definitely more... unstable, I wanna say. I'd be UP and then crash super hard, and was much more jittery in general. I wouldn't expect it'd be better for anxiety, but I personally didn't notice much of a difference there either way. I much prefer the XL in general though.
  13. Nah, Zoloft went directly from not doing anything at all to making my anxiety much better. I had terrible anxiety before medication though, for sure.
  14. Hi, yes. I had Wellbutrin added to my Zoloft a few months ago and am doing very well. You say you've been on it for 3 days? At three days in I definitely felt like I was on speed, lol. My pdoc said there was an immediate and a long-term effect, and the immediate effect for me was somewhere around days 3-6 on the meds. I was energetic as hell, couldn't calm down, insane insomnia, sweating like crazy, the works. That passed in a few days, I got depressed again, and then the long-term effect kicked in a few weeks later. We messed around with my dose a bit and I did have some pretty bad anxiety spikes and "speed" feelings while all that was getting sorted out, but once we settled on 150XL and stuck with it, it did calm down eventually. As of now I'm doing much better with both depression and anxiety with the addition. I have multiple major anxiety diagnoses in addition to the depression with my PTSD, so that's all hopefully pretty relevant to your question. My pdoc said it shouldn't help anxiety, but it's actually been very good for mine overall. Side effects have dropped to almost nothing. A bit of extra sweating and a muscle twitch or two. Hope that's all helpful.
  15. My pdoc added Wellbutrin to my Zoloft a few months ago. So far it's been an absolute miracle drug. I'm definitely crankier on it than I was on just the Zoloft, but it's not unmanageable and it's well worth it to be able to feel joy again. I haven't been on Wellbutrin by itself, so I unfortunately can't offer any experiences about crankiness on just Wellbutrin vs crankiness on Wellbutrin + AD. It does sound like it might be worth a try, though. Anhedonia, lack of motivation, and that sort of "flat" feeling are all things it's helped me enormously with.