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About ananke

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  1. The last few days have been so stressful and weird even I'm on the verge of giving up and burying my head in the sand 'til it's all over. I'm surprised more businesses haven't been piling on the pressure. It would be a disaster if we left in April without a deal, and I'm sure they'll ask for an extension but I can understand concerns from businesses that delaying Brexit further will compromise their interests. And by compromise their interests, I mean they'll move elsewhere, a lot of people will lose their jobs and our economy will tank. Why become a tax haven when we could just privatise everything (that hasn't already been privatised). The NHS must be worth a few quid, maybe we could sell that off, stick a toll booth on the Eurostar and call it a day. I've rewritten this several times trying to be funny or smart, and I'm just tired instead. strong and stab (edit: accidentally hit publish before finishing 'strong and stable' but fuck it)
  2. done so much cooking and christmas prep... when i have kids we're gonna be religiously atheistic lol. no christmas! im so tired

    1. jt07


      But sounds like Christmas for you is going to be delicious. Mmmm. Kudos to you!

    2. ananke


      Luckily for my family a lot of it is meat based- I'm the only vegetarian! But it shares the load so others can chill a bit more. So hopefully it'll definitely be a lazy and delicious time :) 

  3. It's a good thing neither of us are major economies or else this entire catastrophe might have far reaching consequences beyond our nations, and may in fact destabilise the economy right I mean, we're just a small part of the EU right
  4. Oh dear FIS... you don't seem to get it... Brexit MEANS Brexit. Try not to think any harder than that, or else you might be drafted as a civil servant. All sarcasm aside, my civil servant family member hasn't been heard from in a while. I think they now live at the office. We'll send out a search party in the new year. It's like Groundhog Day only all the politicians are in varying levels of despair. Some are stuck in the 'stealing the groundhog and driving off a cliff', others are still trying to seduce Andi McDowell (a deal). Nigel Farage is the ice cold puddle some just keep falling into. I sort of agree with you about a second ref. Aside from the fact that it wasn't a legally binding vote (grumble grumble) the amount of horse shit that came from all sections of the Brexit campaign should be enough to rule it a farce. Glad to see all the Brussels money is now going towards junior doctors! Oh wait JRM honestly makes me want to vomit, but none more so than Gove. URgghhghh. The tragic irony is the amount of towns/industries that voted Leave, only to realise that the vast majority of their funding came from the EU. I think regardless of whether we Deal or No Deal, Brexit or not, we have monumentally fucked up our economy. Which, after a global recession and years of 'austerity' we definitely needed! It's more a matter of how badly we shot ourselves in the foot imo. It is like piles (or haemorrhoids), and when it all comes down to it we're the ones holding the turd. May will disappear soon enough, Boris will do something spectacularly stupid and irritating, Cameron will slink back to his writing caravan, and Farage will continue to be a political presence for some gods awful reason. But look, all of it was worth it to court the alt-right and the fascists into voting Tory huh
  5. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-46509288 Any other Brits or interested parties looking at this and laughing (because if you weren't, you'd be crying)? I tried to think of something funny to say, but honestly Cameron said it the best three years ago: s t r o n g a n d s t a b l e
  6. This seems like a frustrating situation. I hope your therapist understands where you are coming from and comes up with a new plan. It sounds like you might have to wait a while before another therapy opportunity arises. I really don't see the point of asking you to continue doing something that hurts more than helps. If it's going to damage your confidence in pushing OCD tendencies, then it's not working. Annoyed on your behalf!
  7. I would have thought even CBT would encourage small steps. I'm doing similar stuff with my tdoc and she's basically said 'do things to improve confidence whilst still pushing yourself'. The whole trying to even the anxiety scales thing. Can you ask your tdoc to try a more graduated approach? Start small with best results, then gradually increasing length of time/distance/etc. I don't understand how repeatedly triggering panic attacks is going to help you the most. That's not what 'sitting with the anxiety until it passes' means?
  8. Quick poll- my room is gross and it desperately needs cleaning. Is it better to:

    1) Just throw things away

    2) Take the time to organise into recycling/donate/etc piles

    please help

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. ananke


      Thanks and blessings for the honesty. Sometimes things just need to go. Since I have clothes sorted I will leave them to be donated (although honestly they're so old and dusty at this point they might just be rejected anyway).

    3. Cerberus


      Consider this a triage situation. Just throw it all away. Do not guilt yourself in any way for what you did not do in this situation. Once you have returned your room to a proper footing, you might consider establishing a system that would both prevent this from happening again, and enable you to deal with your disposables in a more considered manner that will give you better peace of mind. For instance, get yourself some bins for recycling, donations, etc., and use them. The biggest cause of clutter and disorder is when there is no specific place for things to go. The key is: A Place For Everything, and Everything In Its Place.

    4. DammitJanet


      @ananke I am in the exact same predicament. I feel extremely guilty if I dump things. But my apartment is so out of control and so much stuff everywhere I haven’t used in over a year I know it makes much more sense to just throw it in the damned freaking dumpster only steps away. 

      I know it’s having a huge impact on my mental health. I feel out of control, and am now even feeling suicidal again. 

      @Cerberus thank you for such compassionate, realistic, systematic, specific advice. I always look forward to your posts wherever they are as I learn so much every time. 

      @ananke thank you for posting this. And I wish us both luck. 

  9. ananke

    The NHS in all it's wonders and weaknesses

    I also have tiny ears maybe me and man-bun need to start our own support group. If it's not yoga he definitely makes things like this: And he wears a leather apron. Maybe taking a break from doctors might help. Sometimes you sort of have to cobble together your own care with what you have around you, like an unbitten in a zombie film trying to make a flame thrower. In my experience, PD treatment often starts with stabilisation, then determining what your goals and objects are for your day to day life, then working through them in a logical way. So yeah, working on relationships with others definitely qualifies. But I guess talking to people on here counts as well? Even if you don't have a PD you can still work with whatever symptoms or issues you have. It certainly does not help when the people meant to be helping are indifferent at best.
  10. ananke

    The NHS in all it's wonders and weaknesses

    I have no man-bun vendetta but the sharply trimmed beard with the casually messy bun is distracting. Pick a lane. Doctors have such a weird time with personality disorders. Either they're dished out like mints in a restaurant (cough BPD particularly (no judgement at people with BPD though) cough) or you have to go through Herculean tasks to prove something is wrong. Raspberry said everything more articulately than I could. This sounds like complete bollocks.
  11. Symptoms are important, but the diagnosis can mean so much, in terms of treatment, self understanding, explaining your situation to others. Especially when it's as heavily loaded as a personality disorder. I only felt it like the symptoms were being addressed when they were treated more like trauma that a PD. Sorry I feel like I sound defensive and angry when I'm really not, just tired! It also doesn't help that symptoms can look similar to the observer (i.e. the pdoc) but feel different to the person experiencing them. This has been an interesting conversation though. I really just want us all to be happy with rainbow farting unicorns, with or without BPD, but that's not very realistic. martina I also hope you find your answers! Papas, the communication with others has been very important to me. This board has been a lifeline at times.
  12. ananke

    The NHS in all it's wonders and weaknesses

    Urgh there is just no room for nuance or complicated... humanity. I don't really blame the on-the-ground staff (unless they're awful, which I've had before) because they are doing the best with what they have. Suicidal ideation is very misunderstood on the NHS in my experience. You occasionally get someone who does understand how severe it is (but can only give you an emergency appointment in two weeks) but mostly people hear 'I don't want to kill myself right now' and think 'great, not my problem'. SI for me meant that although mostly I just had intrusive thoughts, a mood swing or panic attack or trigger could push me into straightforward suicidal. Like... do they not teach that in psychologist school? Hope your doctor is useful Fluent, and are able to pass you on to a service that can help you
  13. ananke

    people don't take my dx seriously

    My mum used to stick up funny quotes on the bathroom wall to give people something to read as they did their business. One of them was 'if everyone threw their problems in a big pile, you'd snatch yours right back up'. I think people misunderstand PD's because a lot of it is either 'extreme' to the point of no empathy (psychosis anyone?) or seemingly so mundane it doesn't look like a problem (who isn't a perfectionist?) When I told my friends about my PD traits, they said 'oh I do that!' Like sure, maybe you also have mood swings, but probably not to the point of suicidal hysteria. There needs to be more mental health literacy IS2G. I think part of it is just having that social script of 'I understand why this doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but it significantly and negatively affects me. Thanks for understanding!' If you're me, that latter part is usually with a dash of passive aggressiveness thrown in. jt I agree, but unfortunately the OCPD part of my brain still throws rocks at me for being unemployed. Regular me gets it, mentally ill me screams if I have a lie-in. Productivity shouldn't define our worth, but sadly that message has sunk in enough at this point that working yourself to death is called 'good work ethic'. Fluent, being in a lighthouse sounds great right now. Or maybe on an island. With no internet. Just dogs. It is destructive to have a semi-controllable drive towards isolation, but damn it, people are so much, all the time.
  14. Sam, I hope you were able to get a second opinion (though it sounds like others agree that you were misdiagnosed). Have you been able to get more appropriate therapy/etc now? NotLoki, are you talking to me? If so then like I said I'm not BPD symptomatic, though I have other things I'm working on in therapy at the moment. I don't take any medication, I'm not a good candidate for it.
  15. Wondering if anyone has been misdiagnosed, either with BPD when it's something else, or with something else that you suspect is actually BPD? I feel kinda stupid because I've posted about BPD stuff here that I'm now thinking isn't accurate, so hopefully you can all forgive me I'll be an ally to the BPD cause, whatever that is. I suspect that I was mostly diagnosed with BPD traits because 1) I already met the criteria for another PD and 2) I'm part of That demographic. If it's young, female and messed up, gotta be BPD somewhere. Sorry, having just said I don't think I have BPD anymore I'm now being sarcastic. But equally, I've done enough research that it sounds like BPD misdiagnosis is SUPER common, from both sides. This might also be part of the UK/NHS diagnostic system being a random doctor who gets an hour with you to determine ALL of your problems. It would of course be better if it was someone who knew you and your history/patterns. And who didn't just ignore your abusive relationship by asking about your parents instead. FWIW, 99% of the reasoning behind me questioning this diagnosis is that I have almost no BPD traits now, nor have I for some time. The OCPD is as strong as ever, but I somehow managed to trump BPD, which seems very unlikely. Or maybe BPD works differently to other PD's? Let me know