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aquarian

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About aquarian

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    female
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    USA

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  1. I quit smoking about 12 years ago and still have the occasional dream where I'm smoking. I wake up and miss it. I miss smoking in some ways to this day and wish I could have a cigarette now and then at those perfect moments but then I remind myself about the pros of being a nonsmoker. Like how I can now sit through a whole movie in a movie theatre without getting antsy. Or sit through a long dinner. And I'm not irritated by staying at hotels. I used to hate hotels if they were nonsmoking only because I'd have to take an elevator down to the lobby and exit to smoke vs. just smoking outside my door at a motel. Also, airports and flying are infinitely more pleasant as a nonsmoker though there was at least one airport back in the day that had a smoking room so I never minded having a stop there (even though the smoking room was admittedly kind of gross). Not sure if that airport still has the smoking room. Oh, and I was less irritable on hikes once I quit smoking because it sure was awkward smoking on the trail when the fire risk was high. Not to say I never did it (and took my cigarette butts with me), but it was kind of weird having to stop and take smoke breaks on the way up/down a mountain. (Sadly I don't live near mountains anymore.) I never had a bad cough or anything when I smoked and I worked out and was somewhat active despite being a smoker. I think I noticed a little bit of improvement in my aerobic capacity (or whatever it's called) after quitting but it wasn't nearly as much as I thought it was going to be. I was kind of disappointed in that respect. I thought I was going to feel so much better after quitting but I didn't notice many physical differences other than that I had to eat slightly less each day because I wasn't burning as many calories without the cigarettes. And I was hungry more without nicotine to suppress appetite between meals. FWIW, I smoked 1/3 to 1/2 pack a day for about 10 years, maybe a little longer. Maybe if I had been a heavier smoker I would have noticed more of a difference physically when I quit. I mean, it was brutal and miserable quitting cold turkey so it was not easy by any means, but I'm talking about physically my skin didn't suddenly clear up and my ability to workout didn't get exponentially better.
  2. Unfortunately I don't have any helpful advice except to agree with you that #1 is a bad idea. Last place I was hired (Fortune 500 company) for a somewhat entry level position did a full background check, including dates of employment and job titles from all past employers, when it got to the final hiring stages. I was glad everything mostly matched up with what I had on my resume.
  3. I started filling out paperwork at my last job for an ADA accomodation to not have to work more than 40 hours a week. This was because OT had become somewhat mandatory for an extended period of time (not sure if it was officially mandatory OT for everyone in my department or somewhat voluntary with lots of pressure to volunteer and "chip in") but I skated by the whole time just working my usual 40 hours because I think my manager knew I was generally having issues (partly due to my dad being in the process of dying) and never once asked me or pressured me to work OT. However, when they hired someone new way above my manager (and this new person was on an OT mission because we were understaffed and not meeting our metrics), I think my manager had to start explaining why I wasn't working any OT at all. So then she gave me the ADA accomodation paperwork to fill out. Then, while I'm filling out this paperwork and having to write down and explain to HR why I can't work more than 40 hours a week, I realized how bad things had really become for me. I was working my 40 hours a week and getting nothing done except going to bed and going to sleep at the end of workdays M-F. And then I would sleep the entire weekend, only getting up to go to the bathroom and take snack breaks. I was like, oh shit, I'm worse off than I thought. And I'm barely hanging on at work as it was. So that was weird to put into words as my explanation for why I couldn't handle more than 40 hours a week. I think I did actually submit the paperwork, but I'm not sure. Not sure if I was (or would have been) granted the accomodation because pretty soon after the ADA stuff, I started going in/out on STD. Then I ended up on LTD. And now I'm on SSDI (disability). But I felt I had a good case for the accomodation because I was being treated by a psychiatrist, trying different meds, and I had no functioning life outside of my work week as it was. The thought of coming in on Saturdays was nuts to me. I was like, I sleep all of Saturday; how am I supposed to come in to work? Or staying an extra couple hours at the end of each day M-F...doesn't work so well when I have to sleep 12+ hours a night and am expected to shower, eat, and drive back into to work the next day. Plus, I was becoming less productive/functioning at work stuff and it would get progressively worse by the end of the day. So I'm not sure that I would have accomplished much by staying extra hours at the end of a shift. It was a great job and a great company. But it was bad timing as far as me being new in the job, my dept growing rapidly, my dad slowly dying at home, effexor pooping out, and other life stressors.
  4. Not sure if this has been mentioned already: When I go to my profile and choose "Posts" underneath the "Forums" heading in the left hand column, it only lets me look at the first page of results. Even when I click the number 2 (or another number) or the next button or the last page double right arrow button. Same issue with "All Activity" from my profile page and possibly others. I just checked those two. However, what does still work (as a workaround) is going to "Settings-Manage Followed Content" And looking at "Forums-Topics" in the left hand column. Then I can see all the pages and clicking on the numbers, etc. works.
  5. From the source you linked to/provided above: "It's important to note that neither of these studies was a randomized controlled clinical trial, so neither proved that either type of drug causes dementia."
  6. Effexor/Remeron/Valium has been my mainstay since 2002. (Well, it started as Effexor/Remeron/Xanax but after a year or two pdoc made me taper off the xanax and onto valium.) I remained totally stable med-wise and was mostly functional. But then around 2011-2012, shit hit the fan and my combo was no longer cutting it, so we added abilify and tried various dosages. I also tried swapping out effexor for pristiq but went back to effexor eventually. Also tried out latuda (maybe before or after abilify?). Not sure in what order all that happened and whether it was over the course of months or a year. Tried adding in some stimulant stuff eventually. Nuvigil was no help. Ritalin ok at best. Finally settled on adderall. Stayed on adderall for at least a couple years I think. One day a year or two ago, my pdoc says, why not add buspar to the mix? She said it probably won't do anything but can't hurt and might help with anxiety, right? So turns out buspar gave me some energy although did zero for anxiety (not sure how that works) so I told my pdoc it was time to stop the adderall since the buspar was superior and I was tired of the afternoon crashing from adderall among other things. So now I'm on effexor/remeron/valium/abilify/buspar. Pdoc has me try going up to 30mg remeron from 15mg at one point. No difference but I'm still on the 30mg btw. So more time passes. I'm frustrated that I'm not making any big "progress" and am still on SSDI and not working or volunteering. Pdoc says lets cross-taper from effexor to cymbalta. During the cross-taper, a bunch of minor life stressors occur and my panic disorder comes back after being mostly in remission for a decade. I stayed on cymbalta for a few months at least, maybe longer. Finally said, let me go back on effexor since cymbalta doesn't seem to be any better. So back to effexor yet again. And now more valium to help with the panic disorder. 2mg 3-4x/day so still a tiny dose but I was only taking about 1mg at night for years prior to this. And I still can't drive on my own due to panic. Can barely make it through a meal at a restaurant without panicking. Am exhausted after having to leave the house to do something in public. But still have to keep leaving the house and trying to drive with someone else in the car so that maybe, someday, I can get back to the old status quo, which I used to be dissatisfied with but would do anything now to get back to. So basically my cocktail can be stable for a decade. But then it can also be tinkered with and meds swapped in and out many times over the course of a few years. Hard to say since my concept of time is poor. And the more med changes and crazy, the more hazy things become in the rearview mirror.
  7. I'm not sure if it's just me but here's a very minor thing that I noticed a little while back: So I click on unread content and that works fine and I see unread content going back a certain number of hours, not sure how many hours but it's usually (but not always) sufficient. But when I click on the "load more activity" button at the bottom of this page, it gets stuck as "Loading" and a grayed out button. I'm not sure if this always used to happen or if it's new since the update. Maybe it's even already been mentioned.
  8. aquarian

    Online therapy

    I found this thread in which Wooster had some good cautionary advice (i.e. things to be aware of): https://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php?/topic/78541-online-therapy/
  9. Also see (for further reading) : https://www.propublica.org/article/the-myth-of-drug-expiration-dates https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1395800/#__sec7title Cheap OTC stuff I tend to not use much beyond expiration, since it's cheap to replace. And I personally wouldn't take expired antibiotics or antivirals (I don't care what the Army Studies have shown in the 2nd link above)....unless of course the zombie apocalypse has occured, in which case expired antibiotics and antivirals are sounding a whole lot better to me. But other stuff that's expired doesn't worry me as I personally haven't had an issue with expired valium, xanax or effexor for instance. But usually my stuff might only be expired by 1-2 years at most. And it's stored under decent conditions. But that's just me and my experience.
  10. My pdoc will take my unused meds if they are in bottles with seals or in unopened blisterpacks, not past expiration date, and then she will give them to other needy patients. I've done this a couple times with her in the past.
  11. There was actually a bipartisan bill that was passed and signed into law in very late 2017 called "Stop Taxing Death and Disability" that (going forward) prevents the IRS from taxing the discharged student loan debt as income. It's just for people whose student loan debt was discharged in 2018 and beyond (to 2025 when the law apparently expires if not renewed). http://www.doverpost.com/news/20180102/coons-stop-taxing-death-and-disability-act-passed-into-law https://www.studentdebtrelief.us/news/discharging-student-loans-no-longer-taxable-income/ You can even tell that the student loan site removed the stuff about owing taxes on discharged loans from their FAQ section: Here's the current FAQ: https://www.disabilitydischarge.com/faqs (nothing about owing taxes on the discharged debt) The old FAQ in August 2017: https://web.archive.org/web/20170816224615/https://www.disabilitydischarge.com/faqs (Note there is a section for "Are there any tax implications after approval and discharge of my federal student loans?" which explains "The amount of the discharged debt will be considered income for federal tax purposes and possibly for state tax purposes. You may want to consult with a tax professional to determine how this may affect your personal taxes." This part no longer exists in the current FAQ.) Also, on the 2018 instructions for 1099-C, the IRS now instructs, "Student loans discharged on account of death or disability. Do not report these discharges on Form 1099-C." So apparently people are no longer issued 1099-Cs for this kind of debt discharge. https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/i1099ac.pdf
  12. aquarian

    Daith piercing

    I have one (from many years ago and it's still in). I rarely get headaches, both before and after the piercing. I still get the occasional minor headache (resolves if I take 2 aleve), just as I always have.
  13. When my insurance changed, my tdoc agreed to let me pay her what she used to get paid by my insurance plus what my copay was. So it used to be that between my insurance and my copay my tdoc was getting around $80/session. So when I changed insurance and she was no longer covered, she agreed to make her rate $80/session which I paid out of pocket. And instead of seeing her every week, I switched to every other week because I couldn't afford $80/week but $80 every two weeks was doable. Eventually my insurance changed yet again and now she's covered again and I can go every week and I pay about $18/session (the 20% medicare part B doesn't cover. I have a medigap plan too, but it's high deductible and I never hit it, so yes, I'm responsible for the 20% part B doesn't cover).
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