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Steve223

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  1. Sorry I didn't post back. I'm honestly not sure about these people. I talked to her shortly after this, and honestly she may have sort of gotten used to the idea of me not being straight. I'm not sure. Anyways, I said something about it sort of casually shortly after this, and she seemed to see it as old news rather than something to be angry about. And she hasn't been attacking me about it. For the most part, we have gotten along.
  2. Okay, I am not straight. I came out as gay last year, and it went horribly. Horribly meaning that I was told that if I "chose to live that life", that my own family, my own parents weren't sure if they wanted to remain in contact with me. My mother was the one saying these things, and I actually heard my Dad say "well you shouldn't think like that" when it she was on the phone saying that her bigotry against gays made her want to shun away (not in those words, just "it's kind of undesirable") or something of the sort. After this, my mother proceeded to abuse me and vowed to discard me and said she didn't want to be seen with me due to the way that I dressed because she was "embarrassed". She told me that she "wished me well in life but didn't want to know about it", the expression of pure homophobic hatred that I'd expect to come from her. She had threatened to discard me multiple times in my life and pretty much ingrained it in my psyche. She clearly has some sort of PD, and she had unpredictable Jekyll and Hyde like rages, though they never came that often even before all this. It was rare, but once one saw Mr. Hyde, one never saw Dr. Jekyll the same again kind of thing. There were a few potential triggers, but the control of me seemed to be the primary one, or at least perhaps........... it seemed to revolve around my sex life and perceived "morals" and "values" as well perhaps to an even greater degree than the idea of control. The thing is weirdly, despite expressing that she didn't want to be seen with me and everything else, she decided to be quite nice to me. As though she "came around". It has been quite convincing, and I really want to believe that's true. She has not followed through with her initial "promise" that it was final that she would never go out in public with me because she was embarrassed to be seen with me and things have seemed fine at least on the surface. And despite being as abusive as she was, she has seemed to be the same...... actually perhaps slightly better around me than before. However, given her sheer level of disdain and hatred, I don't know given something that happened two days ago that was far more subtle. She stopped abusing me for the way I dress many months ago, yet she said one thing that had a weirdly strong impact on me emotionally............. now a year after all this, she saw a flier in the mail when we were talking (after I came out as gay) about a scantily dressed woman on the cover of a magazine. And she kind of made a joke about it, and said, 'Oh boy' in a joking sort of way. I'm not sure what to think of this, and a strong part of me sees this as joking around......... yet she never apologized for all her threats to disown me or anything else. So, I am kind of confused. Was this just a harmless joke, or perhaps was it a sign that she just "forgot" everything I said, and despite what I said on multiple occasions during this, that she genuinely believes I am straight. Or am I misinterpreting this? She just said it in kind of a joking way, and otherwise has not said anything homophobic or tried to control the way I dress, and that's been a big change............ but somehow this kind of made me wonder if somehow despite everything, she just "forgot" all of it in her invalidation. This is the only thing that I have heard since last summer's attack on me for not being straight and dressing the way I do, yet it made me wonder a bit if the "progress" is really an illusion.
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