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About sweetmartina86

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    video games, politics, music, playing piano and violin, writing, journaling, adventures, being around family and close friends, small parties, dancing, football, karaoke, writing music
  1. sweetmartina86


    I don't get this. Obviously some days are better than others but I'm having a hard time lately. Its more taxing in my mind then what I'm physically doing. I get by on eating one meal a day. I eat at dinner time. Usually between 5 and 8. Now my mind is getting obsessive. I got on the scale today and lost weight. But I am overweight and its not good enough for me. So my mind is making all these ideas up and plans and thoughts and I have been exercising(walking but still counts) more and I purposely bust my butt at work(I work at a restaurant where we have to be on the go all the time.) I have noticed I am becoming more obsessive about losing weight. And though I'm worried, I'm totally comfortable in this craziness that is trying to consume me again. I was in treatment years ago and had recovered for a decent period of time. But now, I think things are starting to go by the wayside and I'm too comfortable with it. Its like this old friend coming back in your life and you know they are bad for you, but you stick with them anyway. I don't know anymore.
  2. sweetmartina86


    Back in 2010 I was diagnosed with EDNOS, I was at the low end of a healthy weight, was restricting and purging. My eating habits lately have been more restrictive. I am obese as well, and think food just doesn't taste good. Plus I feel like my weights been going up so I have been going crazy about food and obsessing over trying to get by on as little as possible. I'm definitely here if you ever need to chat!
  3. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar type and BPD in the past.. I am now diagnosed with bipolar disorder and BPD. I am going to follow this to see because I'm curious and interested. I have had hallucinations and paranoia(on and off in the past, but now seemingly more on).
  4. I've always said that it is the symptoms that are the important thing and not necessarily what label you get. Although, the label can help ease fears of not knowing what is "off" or "wrong". I first got diagnosed in 2006 with PTSD. I've had docs over the years(I've had mental health issues for quite some time.), tell me that I was bipolar or schizo-affective or borderline. I had one doctor tell me I had bipolar disorder with borderline traits and PTSD. Now, years later, the newest psychiatrist has told me I fit the criteria for bipolar disorder AND borderline personality disorder AND PTSD(which with the PTSD, I'm now debating whether it is PTSD or CPTSD as I have had a lot of repeated trauma in my life and not necessarily just a one time thing. I'm going to mention it to my doc in a couple of weeks). I think the important thing, is that whatever your condition or ailment is, you can get it treated or to the point that it is manageable so you are feeling better. With regards to the BPD misdiagnosis, I would not be surprised if you were misdiagnosed. I believe it is something that is super common across the board with a lot of different conditions. Add to the fact that different symptoms overlap, its hard to say. I will say that I have BPD and when I first had it, I fit pretty much all 9 of the criteria to a T. High abandonment issues, impulsivity like crazy, unstable sense of self, being reckless, and a bit of paranoia/dissociation among other things. I was diagnosed with it in 2010 and rediagnosed in 2013, before my current diagnosis now. If you would ask me if I fit all of the criteria now, I would say that I am not sure. I would think I would given history but a lot of my symptoms are less severe. My abandonment issues have lessened, my anger is at a more controlled state, I'm not as suicidal at all, I've really done a 180. But not all conditions have a type A either and everyone is different so its hard to say. I hope you find the answers you are looking for!
  5. sweetmartina86

    This is me!

    hahaha! It is martina, but Ironically my senior year of high school, I went by Martini as a nickname. So I take no offense to that. Thank you so much for welcoming me! I prefer shaken over stirred myself. lol. I can't really sing to save my life anymore(thanks to Cigarettes and other drugs I used to take over the years(I've been clean off of Coke, crack and meth for over 2 years. Don't need it, don't want it, don't miss it.) Alcohol, I used to really love a little too much in my twenties. Now, I can take it or leave it. Funny how that works. But with the karaoke, its more drunk karaoke and liquid courage but I love to sing "I try" by Macy Gray. I'm more of a musician than a singer. Oh gosh, I'm rambling now... my apologies. Thank you for the welcome! Thank you!! Very much a dance. whether its a waltz or a polka or twerking, its some kind of dance in my head. LOL Thank you! Thank you!
  6. sweetmartina86

    This is me!

    Hey everybody! I'm Martina. I'm 32 years old and live in the U.S. I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder with mixed episodes, Borderline Personality Disorder, an unspecified eating disorder(Basically I either eat a ton, or don't eat much but for the most part, its the latter) and PTSD. I love music, dancing, karaoke, writing, playing piano and violin, and just chillin.