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Antecedent

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  1. One tip I read somewhere or other was counting the channels, I think it was in one of those books about happiness, but anyway, what it means is, say you are doing something, anything, say the dishes, move through your sensations one at a time and count everything that's going on. Say hearing.. right now I can hear 1. the cat licking herself 2. the laptop fan 3. people talking outside 4. traffic outside 5. the sound of my own hands on the keyboard It's a really nice distraction tool when I am freaking out... then you can go to feeling.. right now I can feel 1. The hot water bottle under my feet, the warmth of it and the softness 2. the texture of the keyboard 3. my own butt on the chair 4. my face is itchy! 5. i can taste coffee in my mouth still 6. I can't really smell anything 7. I feel quite cold So this is a pretty ordinary situation, but if you are on a walk a lot of the things you count are quite nice things, so it is pretty cool
  2. I get super h-angry if I don't eat. I guess I could do this on weekends if I was free and single, but I won't inflict it on my cat and bf. Anyway, I bet I'd get addicted.
  3. The only reason Norway have been able to make it work is though allowing free travel and accepting refugees, that got them a good deal with the EU. Seeing as how people who voted for Brexit specifically said they hated "foreigners" I don't think they'll for for that. Maybe Britain can set up some kind of haven for organized crime, like Swizerland did. That's could work Whatever they do I hope it works out for the people on the bottom, 'cause you know whatever happens the rich will be fine.
  4. Antecedent

    Happiness

    What a beauty!
  5. Antecedent

    Happiness

    My cat makes me feel proper happy quite often. The way she stares at me and purrs, the way she insists I pay attention to her. The other saturday I was having a lie in and she came up and slept next to be on the pillow, and every time I opened my eyes for the next 4 hours she was just staring at me and purring, and then eventually when I opened my eyes she reached out her paw and touched me on the nose and I petted her and she was delighted. I can't really feel moments like that when I'm depressed though, those emotions just aren't accessible
  6. Antecedent

    Textbooks, get 'em here.

    Can you make a crazyboards link to the other amazons? amazon.co.uk amazon.de amazon.es amazon.it amazon.fr Especially those top 3
  7. Antecedent

    Should the Whole World be Japan?

    I really like that we are all different. Yes, Japan is cool. I like the American attitude to sex better. It wouldn't suit me that it's taboo in Japan for women to enjoy sex and for men to seduce their wives.. Of course I am sure there are plenty of exceptions but I couldn't live like that. This makes it sound like I am all about sex hee hee. I guess when you have the most gorgeous men and women in the world you have to have a Victorian attitude towards sex or no one would get out of bed! I was on holiday in Norway once (I live in Europe so it costs very little to get there) and they seemed to have everything worked out. And it's not true they are all white, I found a lovely district in Oslo with restaraunts and barbers etc. from all over the world, I got my hair cut by a Kurdish man from Iran I asked him how to say thank you in Kurdish I'd live anywhere where there is support for people who lose their jobs or get sick, that's really my only criterion. I couldn't live with the guilt of passing people on the street who have lost everything or with the terror of it happening to me.
  8. Antecedent

    How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    CW: period stuff, baby stuff I got these period pains but no period, I'm a week late, or two weeks late, I don't know because I'm so irregular I never bother writing it down since it predicts nothing. So I'm sitting here thinking i might like a little crazy baby but having no plan and no money for how i would raise baby. If I was at work i wouldn't even have noticed the period was this late, so I'm probably not pregnant. But if I am I'm going to give baby a gender neutral name or a middle name of the opposite gender.. that sort of thing I have loads of plans for but things like how I'd pay rent and where would baby go while I was at college and how i would pay for college. And who would change the cat's litter tray? I'd have to hire somebody... how would I pay for that
  9. Antecedent

    Tattoos - my therapists hate them.

    Wow. That tattoo thing is a breach of professional ethics in my opinion. Making pronouncements of harmless life choices that make people happier. Unless you mean eye tattoos, that hasn't been around long and yet some people have been blinded so I can imagine anyone in the medical profession would be concerned for your safety when it came to eye tattoos. I'd like to know what training these therapists have undergone because day one of every single course is "non-judgment" and courses work on helping people to be less judgmental, that's one of the main things in a lot of courses. Marsha Linehan makes her therapists sign a thing in agreement that "most therapists are jerks" before they start DBT training with her, because she found that patients would be telling therapists in DBT about terrible mistreatment from previous therapists and the DBT therapists were shocked and unsure whether to believe it, but if you've signed a piece of paper reminding you that "most therapists are jerks" that helps.
  10. Antecedent

    New friend, new issues

    That is quite the quirk! Imagine! exactly 30 minutes! It sounds a little difficult alright, clock is ticking, tick tock, like on a game show. But at the same time, who knows what's going on inside her head and if this is what makes her feel comfortable, for whatever reason, it's cool that she has found it and doesn't just avoid the phone out of worry, like I do.
  11. Antecedent

    Introversion and energy

    As far as I know, introvert and the other personality types aren't really hard and fast like that. Jung didn't do brain scans or scientific studies or scientific observation, he didn't he based them on personal observation, isn't that right? So you can imagine how there'd be a lot of variation within the character. At the same time, it really feels right, it's a useful category! I definitely find social interaction exhausting, but if I just have a small amount, the act of acting like I'm happy for the sake of others does seem to actually put me in a better mood... so long as it doesn't go on for too long, if it goes on for too long I spend the rest of the day exhausted and irritable. It's like, you know that pencil study where if people put the pencil in their mouth this way for a while they ended up feeling happier in the end? (but if they held it a different way nothing happened). The pencil forces you to smile, and when you meet people you don't just have to smile you have to make your voice sound happy and your movements energetic, so all that might make you happier, so long as it doesn't exhaust you! Apparently this doesn't work for autistic people. Here's the wikipedia article on it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facial_feedback_hypothesis
  12. Antecedent

    interesting article on self-care

    Great article. Marketing is trying to co-opt self care. "go on, treat yourself" and "you deserve it!" on all kinds of harmful products, or useless products that don't harm you but harm your wallet and the planet. What they actually mean is "be impulsive", regardless of whether that will actually make you better off. i don't think that is self-compassion. They don't want us to stop and mindfully think about which things actually enhance our happiness or the quality of our lives, because we wouldn't spend as much if we did that. Another great article on self-compassion: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/05/why-self-compassion-works-better-than-self-esteem/481473/
  13. so far I have found that it is because no one seems to stick to their god damned training after they leave college college: don't try to push people in a certain direction, don't show a preference for a certain behavior over another therapist: yeah sure, but she really SHOULD do this and I'm a tell her college: listen, wait for the person to speak, you don't need to fill every single silence therapist: no, I have too many helpful things to say and only an hour in which to say them college: everyone is different therapist: I read this thing is helpful for 80% of people so I'm going to push 100% of people into doing it I could go on and on
  14. Antecedent

    what's your CBT look like?

    my counselor did some kind of CBT certificate and to her CBT means interrupting me before I'm done expressing something so she can ask me which of the cognitive distortions I am employing. All I can say is something like "yeah I KNOW I'm mind reading but..." and then it doesn't go anywhere from that. It's rife here. Everybody writes "CBT" on their business cards because it's a buzzword but they've only done these short courses in CBT, their real qualification is in something else, usually an "integrative" course which means a tiny bit of everything. and a lot of people here hate CBT because they've never actually had it. There are only like 5 qualified CBT therapists in a city of over a million people. I never get actual cbt homework and the homework I get isn't phrased as optional and I'm not asked how I feel about it. It's a mess. I'm learning a lot about the state of mental health in my country, I really am. The thing is, because she doesn't listen, she is getting me to rephrase and reframe all this surface stuff, because I never got into the real feelings or the real thoughts, so I reframe it and the words fall dead and everything feels artificial and wrong. Woebot is better and that's a god damned app.
  15. Antecedent

    I eat toilet tissue

    It is a health issue. It is bad for you. I don't know if you are doing this intentionally or not but either way, pica is a mental illness and you are trivializing it.
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