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Found 53 results

  1. Hi everyone. I’ve been dealing with unbearable symptoms for over 4 years. Insomnia, racing thoughts (OCD), derealization, irritability, brain fog and depression. I have tried so many medications, but none help. My insomnia and anxiety are through the roof and I have 24/7 derealization. Years ago, 2007, when I was struggling with depression, my psych talked about starting an MAOI, but we instead we added geodon to Zoloft and it worked (for awhile) Long story short, I developed sudden onset ruminating thoughts (in form of OCD), insomnia and Anxiety in 2009. After many trials of meds (I’m adverse and paradoxical to most) I finally was put on remeron which got me sleeping again and in turn helped my other symptoms. From 2010-October 2014 I did relatively well, that is until remeron stopped working and all my symptoms came back. Since I have been inpatient several times trying every sleeping med , bipolar med, SSRI etc with no relief. Mom wondering if an MAOI could help me? Can MAOI’s treat anxiety? Racy brain? I’ve read they can make insomnia worse, which I don’t need. Symptoms: severe insomnia, lucid dreams/nightmares, 24/7 derealization, severe anxiety and panic, major depression, brain fog, dizziness, migraines. I believe, like in 2009-2010, many of my symptoms are from sleep deprivation. I am very desperate to get control over my anxiety and sleep. I’m at the end of my rope. Could an MAOI help me as a last ditch effort to get some kind of quality of life back? Current meds: weaning off Zoloft, weaning off remeron, geodon 20 mg X2, Ativan 5 mg per day (please don’t jump down my throat about this, it will give me a panic attack. I know it’s a high dose and I need to taper this too), prazosin 2 mg. TIA
  2. Hi all. I saw my (worthless psychiatrist today- I’m seeing a new one in March) I suffer from severe anxiety and panic, OCD (ruminating thoughts, racing thoughts, intrusive thoughts), derealization, severe insomnia, agitation and depression. I have tried many many medications. Nothing has helped. I specifically went to talk about trying Nardil today. She’s willing to let me try this, but will have to go off Zoloft and remeron for 2 weeks which scares me. Then if Nardil doesn’t help/work, I’d have to wait another 2 weeks to get back on something else. She offhandedly asked if I had ever tried rixulti and I told her no. So she pulled out a sample pack for me. I’ve been reading reviews of drugs.com, and it seems that it helps many people with depression, but makes OCD, anxiety, agitation and insomnia worse. Doesn’t sound like a good medication for me. Was hoping for some thoughts on this. TIA
  3. Circumstances in my life are driving me to extreme levels of anxiety and tension, and benzos do very little if anything for me. The current PRN antipsychotics I use (Stelazine and Thorazine) either work and are not able to be ordered (Stelazine), or do little if anything at doses that aren't sedating and are too sedating at doses that actually do something for my anxiety (Thorazine). I'm looking for an AP that isn't too sedating that will work for anxiety, and wonder if anyone has taken any of these for anxiety. AP's and AAP's I've tried: chlorpromazine (Thorazine: see above) fluphenazine (Prolixin: took for Tourette's but did nothing for anxiety) haloperidol (Haldol: an emotional sledgehammer--makes me feel zombified even in low doses) loxapine (Loxitane: actually did quite a lot for me mood-wise, but not much for anxiety; nevertheless, pdoc refuses to prescribe it anymore... I suppose I could get it from my gdoc?) pimozide (Orap: took for Tourette's, not fond of this one, did nothing, want to avoid because of cardiovascular side effects) prochlorperazine maleate (Compazine: does nothing for me...) trifluoperazine (Stelazine: see above) aripiprazole (Abilify: currently taking, does a lot for mood, but does very little if anything for anxiety...) Latuda (lurasidone: can't take anymore... insurance pays 50% of retail value of drug, so it's ridiculously expensive, even with copay card, and can never seem to qualify for PAP's) olanzapine (Zyprexa: currently use PRN, but causes extreme weight gain after just days of using, which is a no-no for me as I'm already very obese and trying to loose weight) quetiapine (Seroquel: not effective at any dose and causes weight gain) Rexulti (brexpiprazole: caused worsened depression from a dose range of 0.25-3 mg, so no thanks... insurance only pays for 50% of this one...) Saphris (asenapine: actually did quite a lot for my anxiety for quite a while, but began to flatten my affect, and eventually made me extremely dysphoric and have crying spells; besides, my insurance only pays for 50% of this one too) Vraylar (cariprazine: worsened depression over a prolonged period of time while taking at 3 mg, didn't have enough strength to stabilize my mood at 1.5 mg, 4.5 mg caused extreme dysphoria and terrible akathisia, and insurance will only pay 50% of retail cost) ziprasidone (Geodon: this one helps with psychosis, mood, and a little bit with anxiety, but at the dose that it helps with this, it is a bit too sedating to handle; this one may be worth revisiting, but the aripiprazole is hard as hell to get off of...) I don't want to get mixed up with thioridazine (Mellaril)... I've read that perphenazine has good anxiolytic effects, but can be sedating. I have idiopathic hypersomnia, so that would be a bad thing to combine with that. I've read that thiothixene has a psychostimulant effect at low doses (below and around 10 mg/day), but I don't know anything about any anxiolytic effects it may have, and I imagine the stimulant effect it purportedly has at lower doses might not be good for anxiety. I would hope to get away with a low dose of this one since it's a FGA. I've also tried all the other anxiolytic agents like Atarax, Vistaril, BuSpar, etc., SSRIs/SNRIs/SARIs/SMSs/various TCAs/amoxapine/mirtazapine/etc./various anticonvulsants, so I'm not looking for alternative advice, see my signature as to other meds I've tried before recommending an alternative to these two meds. The only anxiolytic agents I've not tried are the barbiturates and meprobamate (Miltown). Can anyone who has had any experience with these two AP's give me any insight into their effects on anxiety?
  4. Respectful greetings, fellow crazies. I've recently ramped-up on Wellbutrin: 150mg for 6 days and then 300mg for 12 days (18 days total). Overall it's slightly helping the multitude of mental illnesses I have (TRD, "Pure" OCD, other stuff). However. About 7 days after hitting 300mg Wellbutrin I started experiencing incredibly intense anxiety primarily (physically shaking, gut-churning, mind-racing, skin-crawling kind). I also started feeling erratic, intense irritability and even anger - (verbally) lashing out at my kids and other unpleasant out-of-character behaviour. I've seen anxiety from Wellbutrin reported 100's of times before but I couldn't find information on how to combat it. This is because normally people just stop taking it (which makes eminent sense) but that's not an option for me since I'm 23 years TRD (including resistance to ECT, dTMS and Ketamine) and this is one of the last combos left. In other words I'm beyond desperate to give it every chance of working that I humanly can. I'm now gonna blurt out my questions and suggestions and hope that some of you can identify or comment from your own experience: I have some Valium left over and taking that does take the edge off of the severe emotions. However taking benzo's long-term is generally undesirable, hence has anyone taken a non-benzo adjunct/augmenting med that actually helps tone down the insane anxiety? If so, what was it? how long did the intense anxiety last for those who experienced it? 2 weeks? a month? until you stopped the med? did anyone have success in simply reducing dose back to 150mg or even lower? Did you find 150mg sufficient to lift your mood? I'm on 300mg XL as of today (was on 2x150mg XL 'til now). Have folks had different experiences (anxiety-wise) with the IR or SR versions? E.g. would switching to 3xIR be an avenue worth chasing? any other relevant insights or experiences would also be most welcome. May the Gods of mental health be with you, Pete
  5. Hello, it has been awhile! Well, my old psychiatrist retired and I am now stuck with a new one. A tele-med provider. Without really letting me know if they read my chart (they even made mistakes when asking what meds I was on now) they prescribed me topamax to take alongside my usual anxiety med due to (duh) increase in anxiety. They said the added benefit would be that I would be able to lose weight as well, since my previous meds made me...ahem, chunky. And I told them I have body issues. Here's the thing. I did a little research about the weight loss and all studies said that it was beneficial to those who were bulimic or over eaters. I have history, and deal with restrictive eating. Making my appetite less would be a very stupid move in my opinion. My other concern is that there is a side effect where your eyes can suffer permanent damage. Not likely of course, but it is noted. I have a degenerative eye problem and I feel that it would be risky to take something that could make my eyesight worse. Of course there is the caveat that if I notice anything like that I can stop the med, but would my eyes regain the vision they "lost"? I talked to a pharmacist today and they told me it would be very unlikely that I would have any visions problems other than blurriness and that most symptoms are dizziness, hard time focusing, etc the usual. They kind of glossed over the eating part too, saying to just talk to my provider. I have an appointment in a month, and with the Holidays coming up, I decided not to start taking the topamax so as not to ruin any festivities I hope to have with my family. I guess I just needed to vent a bit because it doesn't seem like my new provider is listening to what I have to tell them...since they keep asking me things that are in my chart already! I miss my old psychiatrist a lot, and don't like this new tele-med set up. In any case, I would love to hear from others who have taken topamax for anxiety and how it worked for them. I know everyone is different, but I'd like to get some feedback nonetheless. Poem
  6. So gp gave me this new medication called xifaxan to kill off bad intestinal bacteria. He and the pharmacist said insomnia, anxiety, and depression aren’t side effects of this medication. But I’ve been on it for 6 days and after nearly 2 months of feeling pretty great, I’m suddenly experiencing all three of these symptoms severely. I’m just wanting to know if this has happened to anyone else on this med. it doesn’t show up on the common side effect profiles, but I looked further down at the doc pamphlet at bottom of the page and it does say it can do his. How do I get the doctor to believe me? She wants me to continue it but I woke up today feeling extremely depressed! And my Xanax isn’t even working for the anxiety! This all even being on vyvanse. @mikl_pls or @browri? ps: why would they say this stuff can happen down in the physicians info and not list it in patient info??? shitty thing is, it’s definitely helping my stomach problem.
  7. Hey yall I wanted to get some better insight on a situation. I am set to see a therapist in a few weeks, I just wanted to see if I was overthinking the situation or how I should try to cope with it better. My fiance and I live together with my parents under the same roof. My fiance goes to grad school and I study at home and volunteer to build my career. In the past, my fiance and my folks got along really well together and are friends. Lately though it seems like they are being more critical of my fiance. After thinking about it, I am beginning to think that it is mostly my parents being a bit possessive of me and clingy. My sister is an actress and is in a lot of stage plays every couple of months. I'm not that into theater, but I don't have a problem going to see my sister with my folks. My fiance however has a really hard time in plays and theater. He has a hard time staying still and is a bit fidgety, which kinda annoys me. He also hates plays, so it's kind of a bad combination. I do not have any problems with him just staying home and me going to see my sister. However, my folks have a big problem with this. They told me that he is unsupportive and would make a bad husband if he doesn't go see all of my sisters plays. After speaking with him about it, my fiance decided to compromise and agreed that he would go see a few plays a year (We go like once every 2-3 months). This, however, isn't good enough for my parents still. My mom since then has suggested that he isn't a good partner for me. There are also smaller stuff that they complain about. They don't like that he plays video games for more than 2 hours at a time, that he is sexist for asking me to make him scrambled eggs, and that he doesn't go out to dinner with my folks every time (my parents eat out A LOT). The most annoying thing is that I have never at all felt like he is a bad partner!!!! He literally makes my life better, helps out my anxiety, and makes me a better person!!! I seriously think I'm going crazy sometimes because I literally cannot see any problems about what he is doing. If anything, I respect my fiance more because he has handled this gracefully, has been polite and a responsible tenant, and has been super supportive and trusting of me. The problem is that i have GAD and get really bad obsessive thoughts, which makes me really anxious. I can't stop thinking about my parents hating my fiance. If anything is negatively effecting my relationship at all, its the fact that my parents don't approve of him fully. It just really fucking sucks when someone actively improves your life and your own parents can't see that. I was wondering if anyone had any tips with stopping obsessive thoughts with this situation.
  8. My groceries were delivered to the wrong building and apartment yesterday. The woman who came to my front door said my grocery delivery was sent to her address, so I grabbed my cart and followed her over to her apartment. I noticed there was something off about her and it got worse when I entered her apartment. She had put all my groceries away in her kitchen, where she thought was the right place (in her mind). She put my ice cream in the cabinet, and you can guess the rest. Each of the 22 items she put away in different places all over her home. She would not give up the candy, I had to walk away from that. Clearly this woman had dementia and there I was in her apartment, alone. And as I stood in her kitchen getting my groceries back, I could not reach my executive powers and realized I was dissociated and could not defend myself. In reality, I should never have gone into her home. I should have just walked away, gone home and called the grocery delivery service. This woman signed my name on the form as instructed by the delivery person and now we are worried how much of a tip she gave him on my credit card. I knew walking over there I felt extremely anxious, going into a strangers apartment who was acting oddly right from the start, so the anxiety drove the dissociation and anything could have happened to me, alone with a demented neighbor, I should have known better. Two days ago, another neighbor stopped by to visit my new kitten. I should never have let her in, but there I went again, immediately into dissociation. This woman has been threatening to me in the past and yet I let her in my home and as I was sitting there looking at her, I sensed she should not be there and yet felt powerless over the situation so sat there and let the visit play itself out. Then this woman started taking pictures of my kitten without asking permission and I should have have stopped her, but I was totally powerless. I feel that I just cannot function in the real world and protect myself. Dissociation is protecting myself, but it's leaving me very vulnerable and the consequences are that I am left with feeling very bad about myself.
  9. Dewey

    Neighbor Bullying

    I am being targeted and bullied by my neighbors where I live. I currently live in an independent living home. I am the youngest one here (67 years old). Other neighbors who live in my building admitted that I have been singled out and targeted by the bullies that live here. It seems that no matter where I live, I get singled out and bullied. Must be something I am doing. In my new independent living home, there are groups of women that stick together and have scheming get-togethers. I was invited to one and never went back. Unfortunately before I discovered one such neighbor was a party to all this, I had confided in her. She roped me in very easily. I am alone and isolated and there is no support in my life. So, I am easy target. I also am a nice person who does not have the ability to actively hurt someone. I try to get away from these groups (I call them the axis of evils), I put their calls on block so they can no longer text me, I unfriended them on Facebook (I no longer go there anymore). If they don't talk to me once a week, they will send out an alert to go and find me or they will call the cops and to do a welfare check on me. They bang on my door at all hours and yell my name thru the door to get me to come to the door, then they bust in almost knocking me over and sit down for a "chat". While they are chatting they start taking pictures of my cat and my apartment. I should have asked why they were taking pictures inside my apartment, but I dissociated and could not defend myself. I no longer allow them in my home. I won't talk to them over the phone nor text them, nor return their phone calls. The next time they call in a welfare check on me, I will cite them for harassment with the police when they show up. This group of women have admitted to me they are mean and will take action against others who live here if they don't like them, which I have witnessed. So, for now, I walk on egg-shells around them. I stay away from everyone now, keep my blinds closed and don't answer the phone unless I know who it is calling me. My psych doc upped my maintenance medication and added new medication. He's been calling me frequently to see how I am. I do live with sui*ide ideation, so he's worried about me. Unfortunately I am living in Section 8 Housing, so moving is very difficult to do. So, just trying to keep myself safe from the "Axis of Evil". Needed to vent to get it out there what I am living with. Thank you for reading.
  10. Over the past month, since my mood swings have become more prominent, I am not sure if these are hallucinations I am having or not. I see out of the corner of my eye, fleeting forms, but when I turn my eyes to the object in the room, it disappears. This morning I saw a white cat sitting in the bathroom staring at me out of the corner of my eye just near the doorjam, when I looked it disappeared. But I am seeing things like this continually throughout the day.
  11. Went to my HMO for the first time since my former primary mistreated me. Everytime I would drive up to the building I could not go inside as a panic attack would hit me. Made it thru selecting new glasses, but wanted to run out of there, was having shortness of breathe. Then made it thru pharmacy to pick up scripts and lastly made it thru a flu shot. The Zyprexa is dampening down the run-away anxiety/panic/agoraphobia so far and I found myself very much in the present moment. I was soo proud of myself for making it thru the day
  12. My psych doc has called two times to see if I started on the Latuda. I haven't. I originally wanted to wait until the Seroquel and Pamelor left my system before I started anything new. That was 3 weeks ago. Now experiencing inking in of paranoia, insomnia, fear, anxiety, depression, more migraine and it's preventing me from starting Latuda. I have some key appointments I have to keep between now and the end of the month that I absolutely cannot cancel. I don't want to start Latuda and experience overwhelming side effects that will scare me from leaving my home to make these appointments. However, living in agony with these symptoms is horrible and I know I need to start on the Latuda. After todays appointment, I will have 10 business days until my next appointment, I could take a small sample and see how I react for a few days. I'm also still spending like crazy, have maxed out all my credit cards, applied for more. I know I am doing this to comfort myself. However, I am now sending back more than half what I am buying, but I am in trouble with one credit card. I called my bank and asked for help and they agreed to suspend my credit card until I get it under the credit limit. All this spending started after I watched my neighbor pass away and since then I have not been doing my daily walk because the only path I can use with my rollator is right where she passed away. I just haven't been able to get myself beyond this. I tried starting with a trauma therapist but that ended badly, she wanted me to discuss my past traumas in detail during the first and second meeting and half way thru the second meeting I flew out of her room having a panic attack. I kept warning her I needed to work on grounding and she wouldn't, so won't go back. She hasn't called to see why I haven't been back, so will let that one go. I'm a basket case right now.
  13. My old psych-NP gave me seroquel for sleep around the end of December last year. I haven't taken it every night as she wanted or else I wouldn't be still sitting here almost 11 months later with around 50 or 60 25mg pills left. I have used it randomly for particularly tough nights where I know I can't sleep or I just feel really amped up/anxious and don't want to take more than 1mg of Klonopin. Is this ok to do? When I do use it, it ranges from 25-75mg and I sleep like a baby.
  14. Hi there, I was just wondering if anyone here has tried Rexulti as an AD adjunct for depression. Please tell me what you thought of it, I know it's very similar to Abilify, but surprisingly Rexulti under my insurance + the manufacturer discount card is cheaper than generic Abilify, so I want to get familiar with it. I have only had one true experience with an AAP, Seroquel, and it was actually really nice but it made me sleep like a rock, so I got off it years ago. I'm not switching to Rexulti at the moment, but my psych let me know it's the next option if Wellbutrin doesn't work out. Again, let me know your experiences with it, and I guess Abilify too since they are similar. The thought of being on an AAP scares me, with all the side effects and such, especially for depression. But I have read Rexulti and Abilify both have "pro-cognitive" effects which is exactly what I need. Also, has it helped with your anxiety at all? Do AAPs generally help with anxiety? Because if I'd be able to get off Klonopin that would be a plus. Thank you all for any replies!
  15. I’ve just hit menopause and started a very low dose of bc pill. I can only find mood fluctuations in side effects, not anxiety. Anyone else have issues with hrt?
  16. How do you go about most of your days when you're feeling totally ignored, neglected, unloved, lonely, invisible, and useless, like you don't matter to anyone? I can accept that I will always have depression (and the emptiness & struggle that comes with that) that i must (and do) treat, but it is becoming more and more difficult to accept that I don't deeply matter to anyone but the 2 people that gave birth to me (who will soon be gone). No one else gives a damn. No one is really truly there for you (especially when the chips are down). This is where much of my suffering comes from and why life often does not seem worth living. Does having "self-love" make up for this pain & isolation? And if so, how do you "love yourself"? I already do millions of "self-care' activities everyday, regular therapy appointments, read too many self-help books, and I still have this crushing pain, emptiness and self-hatred inside.
  17. Do any of you here successfully function in an "Open work environment"? Seems it's the norm in the workplace now: no cubicles, no offices or privacy. Only a big open area where you are squished by coworkers along long tables 24/7. It is loud, anxiety producing and distractable, especially for introverts with MI like me. Coworkers hear your phone calls, see your computer screen....and supposedly, this "encourages better communication" whatever.... I used to work at a place set up like this, couldn't hack it. Looking for a new job, but I'm really afraid that all places are like this nowadays and it makes me super anxious. I WISH I could work mainly remote, but it's not a possibility with most roles, or unless you've been at a place for a long time. (I don't do tech/programming work that can be done remote) Would you decline a great job in this environment? Or would you try to negotiate set remote days up front?
  18. This is what I go thru every day from the moment I wake up: anxiety throughout the day, uncontrollable anxiety and panic only when I leave my home, dissociation in times of high stress and high anxiety and panic, insomnia every night, daily depression, scary cycling mood swings. My psych doc called me on a Saturday afternoon (now this doc is semi-retired and only works 3 days a week now). I was shocked when I saw his name come up on caller ID. He was calling to suggest I go into the hospital until I become stabilized. Stabilized in one week, no way I say. It's gonna take time for that to happen. He said with the dissociation and everything else I am going thru on a daily basis he is worried I might self harm. I assured him I am not at that point and he knows that I call him when I need to go back in, plus I have a new kitten and don't want anyone in my home anyway. I think I can manage all this at home. I will be seeing him on Tuesday. That was soo out of character for him to call me like that, kinda got my attention and am I worse off then I realize. I have known him for 30+ years and he knows me well, so I have to trust his direction. His concern is that I am in the middle of a perfect storm and anything can happen and he worries that if anything triggers me I might not be able to control what happens to me. Then several neighbors stopped by to see if I was okay as they have not seen me last week, curtains have remained closed, not answering phones nor texts. I know I have been avoiding alot of neighbors now as I am selectively avoiding those that trigger me and those that knocked on my door I call them "the axis of terror" for what they have been known to do to other people here. So, I had their phones on block. I have been protecting myself while I work on medication and mood and it's nobody's business. Had a game of RummyKub set up for this evening and really looked forward to this all week, and everyone just canceled, really bummed about that. I have had no interest in bath, washing my hair, eating. I can't focus on TV, can't read, nor listen to my book tapes. No interest in anything, I am soo flooded with anxiety/panic. My HMO has restricted how many benzos I take, I have been on Klonopin for 30 years and that takes the edge off, but have to stock pile them due to the restrictions and delays in getting the medication to me, so had to cut back and that makes my anxiety worse. So, back to my psych doc. The plan is to keep me on Seroquel (1/2 of a 25 mg) at night for sleep and for mood control for now during the day until I see him next week. It just sedates me too much if I take more than 1/2 of 25 mg in a 24 hour period. But the Seroquel puts the breaks on mood cycling, I just can't tolerate the side effects, they never go away, just increase. So, I am going to suggest to him for sleep (I want to get off Seroquel due to over sedation and muscle rigidity), Ambien or Trazodone. I read up that Trazodone helps with insomnia, panic, migraine. Then I need a mood stabilizer/seizure medication so may go back on Depakote and Xanax for rescue from intense anxiety/panic. I don't want to go back on Lithium. Goal for the day, making my bed and taking a bath, maybe washing my hair.
  19. Anyone here have any recommendations for a soft soothing "pink noise" machine? someone mentioned this the other day, and i wasn't sure the difference between pink vs white noise (maybe just marketing ploy). I need something to block out very subtle electrical-type noises (noises that seem loud at night - like the whirring of a refrigerator, or a neighbors appliance, for example. But some white noise machines (like at therapist offices) are too loud. Ear plugs are not comfortable for me, or they fall out of my ears when sleeping.
  20. I won't go into the explanations why I went off Effexor (which worked pretty well for 7 months), but I weaned off 3 months ago, was doing fine (until 1 month ago). All depression symptoms have been triggered (by outside circumstances) and anxiety is hitting new levels. Usually I don't have issues with anxiety, but have many big triggering life stressors at moment.... I'm sinking & nervous wreck and can't even think straight! I've only been on Prozac 20mg 1 week (does it really take 3-4 weeks?) I'm feeling more anxious, heart rate increasing, lost all appetite, nauseous and sweaty in general. Is Prozac the slowest med to kick in? I wish I could just ditch it and resume Effexor (but I wont). How long should I give Prozac before giving it the heave?
  21. Finally came clean with my psych. I am sitting here with boxes of the same item (3) of this and that, that I ordered online and don't even remember I ordered these items. I increased my credit line on my credit cards so I could spend more. I find when I am up late at night I order, order, order and don't remember the next day what I ordered until I get an email that an item is coming. I can't leave my home due to panic and high anxiety. I have to stop spending or I am heading for bankruptcy. My psych doc just started me on Seroquel (1/2 of a 25 mg - very low dose due to sensitivities to medication) at night and Abilify during the day. I had taken myself off all my meds and don't know why. I have been having confusion, dissociation, fear of leaving my apartment, insomnia, fear of my mind falling apart. So, with the encouragement of a friend, I came clean and told my psych doc everything that was going on. I feel embarrassed, but I do need help and apparently I can't manage all this alone. He did not judge me, he knew something was amiss due to all the vmails I leave on his answering machine. Thinking back, I have gone thru several traumatic events and this could have probably kicked all this off. I am not in therapy just yet, but I need to be. So, thought I would start here for help navigating all this. Here is the list of the traumas I have gone thru over the past 12 months: witnessed and stopped a brutal assault and went to criminal court as a witness, witnessed the sudden death of a close friend, then right after that went thru a forced move to an apartment I do not like, then had a liver biopsy, have been thru numerous doctors trying to find out what my medical condition is, now I have an impacted kidney stone and facing more surgery, tore my meniscus in my knee but can't get to the ortho for treatment, lost 40 pounds due to not eating and having nausea with all the pain I have had. I only sleep 3-4 hours a night, so hoping the Seroquel will help me get my sleep hygiene back in tact. Hoping the Abilify will help with mood stabilization and anxiety/panic control. Those are my medication goals right now. Thank you for listening.
  22. I have tried literally every single benzo except midazolam and Onfi (clobazam) for anxiety and nothing works for me anymore. I have taken antipsychotics before, and the only one that works is trifluoperazine (Stelazine), but my pdoc won't prescribe it for me anymore because of the fear of it causing tardive dyskinesia. I'm desperately looking for an alternative, but meanwhile I'm taking a combination of alprazolam (Xanax) 1 mg + chlorpromazine (Thorazine) 25-50 mg as needed for anxiety, which just barely takes the edge off when I have a bad panic attack or that feeling of impending doom, like something bad is going to happen and there's nothing I can do about it. I've had a growing interest in meprobamate (Miltown), which I know is not commonly prescribed anymore. I'm curious to see if anyone around here has taken it, and if you would be willing to share your experience with it. Thank you in advance! Oh, and in b4 "this isn't prescribed anymore because [...]" or "there's probably a reason this isn't prescribed anymore" or "this medicine has been superseded by benzos" etc. etc. I'm well aware of that. I'm desperate enough to be turning to these second- and third-line options.
  23. I’ve been dealing with an episode of anxiety and depression since the beginning of January. Despite having had some similar episodes in the early 2000s, I was anxiety and depression free from 2008 until January. I have increase my Paxil dose to 40mg (I was on 30mg for the last 10 years) and I’ve added Lamictal. Just gotten up to the 100 mg range 3 days ago, so hopefully I will balance out soon! In my quest to feel better and get my life back on track, I started researching additional options and came across TMS. I had a consultation and managed to convince my insurance to cover 36 visits (yay!). I had my first visit to get set up on March 5th and then went on vacation. I felt quite a bit better throughout March so I decided to delay starting TMS. Unfortunately the anxiety and depression has returned. I start TMS on Monday. They only had one appointment for me next week, though they said they’ll probably get some cancellations, but I’d love to hear from anyone who’s done this and who can share their experience. I’m not afraid of the treatment, just that it won’t help. Did you go 5 days a week? My doctor says between 2 and 3 days a week will have the same effect. I’ve read some stories on here, but they’re all a couple years old, so I’m hoping for some more recent accounts. Thank you in advance!!
  24. Tonight, a close friend hurt me very very deeply and it was done with intention and mean-spiritedness. She knew just how to push my button. As a knee-jerk reaction, I cut her off. I also went so far as to deactivate Facebook, Messenger, I blocked her phone, along with many others, to reach me. Then I went outside my door where I have a shelf for plants, and moved all of them inside my apartment, took down my wreath on my front door, no more welcoming messages. I am now officially cut off from everyone, and I don't care. I call this survival. People have been maliciously picking at me all month. Oh and I am keeping my blinds and curtains closed. I truly want to be left alone, to recover from this trauma, I've had enough in my life. I am starting on new medication and will start therapy on Friday. I need to draw into myself and take care of myself to protect me from this onslaught of unbelievably mean tenants where I live who seek out to harm. I will no longer participate in group activities here. I will come and go only at night to do my business when everyone is asleep. I will no longer answer any questions about myself, nor look anyone in the face when I happen to pass by them,n or answer should they reach out to me. I'm done.
  25. I want to try Nortriptyline again, but my psych doc is hesitant. He prescribed me Seroquel and Abilify but my pharmacist refused to fill them, advising not to take them together at my age (67). I used to take Pamelor for 30 years and where it did nothing for depression, it controlled anxiety, panic disorders and managed migraine. Waiting to hear back from my psych doc today if he will approve Nortriptyline. I need to sleep. I need something to help with agoraphobia, terrible anxiety and panic. Everything I take activates anxiety and panic. Leaving my home is a battle with fear. Thank you.
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