Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

Per Crazy... I don't really know anyone who, for example, would be happy to dance in a nightclub sober - they'd be far too worried about how they looked and whether they were making a fool of themselves. Which is odd, because obviously you make much more of a fool of yourself while blind drunk than you ever would sober, but somehow the "Oh well, I was pissed [drunk]" excuse makes it ok...it's as if anything you do while drunk on a night out somehow doesn't count towards the general "keeping up appearances".

yeah... same thing here - I went to a year end party at a club where, I swear I was the only one NOT drinking, no way did i feel like dancing (this was in part because i had injured myself in a race that morning), but i don't think I would have anyway - the dance floor was too crowded with drunk peeps

because I'm working on week number 6, no drinks, i'm pretty much avoiding social situations where I may be too tempted, and bars/nightclubs high on that list atm

oh and that night, I was home by 10:30 lol

Rabbit.. congrats on 2.5 years!! hell, on 6 months even!! I too get really tempted when hubby isn't around - he is somewhat disabled from his cancer, but tons of times when he is sleeping (late afternoon nap for instance), I'd dive into the opportunity to have a few. stay strong ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Needed this topic, like, right now. Technically, I quit drinking over 2.5 years ago, but can't seem to make it through 6 months without a slip, albeit minor ones. Dec 6 was my last 6 month anniversary, and wouldn't you know it, my husband is leaving town for a few days, and therefore opportunity rears its ugly, stinkin' head again once more. I'm trying to think through the ramifications of what it'll do to me, how I'd be too afraid to mix my current meds with alcohol, how I don't need the 1-2 days off of meds, and the potential for crash big-time. I can't mention all of this to my tdoc, b/c he'd just expect me to go to meetings, and I'm sick and fucking tired of those. Am I the only one who leaves an AA meeting wanting a drink more than when I got there?

For me, it's not tea, it's endless cups of coffee, lol.

Thanks for pinning this, VE, and thank you inspaces for creating it. I'll be coming back here over the next few days... or more.

I'm 9 days sober and due to my husband's job, he is out of town for 3-4 days every week, although this week he is staying home to support me through the first part of my sobriety. I definitely feel for you about your husband leaving, but I like your idea of thinking through the ramifications. In another thread about AA Alternitives, S9 wrote "if I think about doing drugs I think it all the way through to the inevitable conclusion which if I'm lucky includes survival but with a huge mess to clean up. It's just not worth the inevitable consequences." I loved that quote and have been doing that. I like the idea of thinking it through to the BITTER end that includes the chance of loss of life or the mess you/I will make if we don't abstain.

Perhaps posting everyday your husband is gone on this thread and let us know how you're doing will help. That way we can give you encouragement and support. I think that's what I'm going to do the first time my husband is away.

And you're not alone about the AA meetings, I really hate those wall.gif Check out SMART recovery, they have online meetings every night and I've also found them to be very helpful. To me, their rational approach and ideas of personal responsibility really appeal to me. http://www.smartrecovery.org/

Good luck and let us know how you're doing!

Edited by crazy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm in. I've never been addicted, or anything like that... which means I've always been able to do the "Well I don't need a drink, so there's nothing wrong with how I'm drinking... so I'll just have another glass of wine." Which I know is absolute bollocks.

And it has to stop. My liver's semi-fucked from a suicide attempt a year and a bit ago. I've just started on Quetiapine, and I know that doesn't go with alcohol - I've had a drink a couple of times since I started on it, "Oh, just a glass of wine with my meal, that's a nice way to drink" and it's knocked me fucking senseless every time. And damnit, it's just not good for crazies with recurrent episodes of depression and recent psychosis!

Anyway, long story short - I'm in. Like Shannie, I'm a Brit, but my friends all know I'm on the Seroquel (we even have a Quetiapine Dance, because they can see how much better I feel on it,) so that shouldn't be too big an issue - it's going to be my family trying to get me drunk. I might go on another "major health kick" - it'll be easier to give up chocolate, crisps and laziness for the Christmas hols than try to give up the booze without a good excuse...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's just not worth the inevitable consequences."

The consequence that motivates me the most--even more than my own life--is looking into the eyes of the children I have betrayed, yet again, by fucking up. It simply isn't an option anymore. Never should have been but it's THEIR time now. They get to have my best for the rest of my life. My best before myself, a man, drugs, all of it. My *pain* is not significant and I had a long hard way of coming to that brilliant :dunce:revelation.

Anyhoo, yay! We have a club! Now I'm gonna go tip a few seltzer waters.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yeah... i've not gone down the road of how my kids have reacted to my drinking. Needless to say, I have behaved pretty badly around them from both being actively drunk party girl to sick as a dog hungover girl... .worst case when I nearly passed out on the kitchen floor while my daughter was making breakfast... I fooled my hubby and my mom (who had to come over and take her to school, then me and other daughter to the doctor) that i had the flu or something. But i knew full well that it was vodka + meds = liver overload - that was just before i quit 5 weeks ago

Bex... I love how you say, "Well I don't need a drink, so there's nothing wrong with how I'm drinking... so I'll just have another glass of wine." ummm, story of my life

Crazy... my hubby is almost always home if he's not at his office - like right now, post work time - he's in bed, leaving me wide open. Not much temptation atm though cuz I have class tonight ;)

The scariest thing loomy ahead on the horizon (other than the constant anxiety over worrying if a tumor is growing in his head), is that he's about to get his driving privileges restored thru driver retraining with his left foot. (his right side is damaged from the tumor that was removed) The loss of control that I am feeling is overwhelming

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The "No Drinks Club" sounds exactly like my cup of tea!

I quit doing drugs (excepts prescribed meds in the correct amount) on my birthday of this year and quit drinking in early October, both after 36+ years of abuse. I have not spent a single minute of my adult life NOT under the influence of something.

I too find it hard to deal with AA and NA. They say "take what you need and leave the rest", well I appreciate their sincerity, but as someone here mentioned, going to meetings makes me want to useblink.gif

Not an excuse, just a fact. And I will do whatever it takes to stay clean and sober. So for now, no meetings.

For re-enforcement and partially to avoid jail, I voluntarily put myself into a 28-day V.A. in-patient substance abuse treatment program 20 days after my last drink. I still had to do 2 days in jail with a 1 year sentence suspended. (Thankfully I got my meds and slept through most of it lol).

I'm sorry to be babbling. All I really meant to say was: This clean and sober thing is a new adventure for me. Perhaps with continued sobriety, my psychological and emotional problems will begin straighten out. This living each day as an adult is not so bad after all.

I'm going back to college in a few weeks to finish 2 degrees I started over 30 years ago.

Who's to say what brought on what, the psych problems or the drug/alcohol abuse...

Please forgive the babble.

Best wishes.

~wp

Edited by whirledps

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The "No Drinks Club" sounds exactly like my cup of tea!

I quit doing drugs (excepts prescribed meds in the correct amount) on my birthday of this year and quit drinking in early October, both after 36+ years of abuse. I have not spent a single minute of my adult life NOT under the influence of something.

I too find it hard to deal with AA and NA. They say "take what you need and leave the rest", well I appreciate their sincerity, but as someone here mentioned, going to meetings makes me want to useblink.gif

Not an excuse, just a fact. And I will do whatever it takes to stay clean and sober. So for now, no meetings.

For re-enforcement and partially to avoid jail, I voluntarily put myself into a 28-day V.A. in-patient substance abuse treatment program 20 days after my last drink. I still had to do 2 days in jail with a 1 year sentence suspended. (Thankfully I got my meds and slept through most of it lol).

I'm sorry to be babbling. All I really meant to say was: This clean and sober thing is a new adventure for me. Perhaps with continued sobriety, my psychological and emotional problems will begin straighten out. This living each day as an adult is not so bad after all.

I'm going back to college in a few weeks to finish 2 degrees I started over 30 years ago.

Who's to say what brought on what, the psych problems or the drug/alcohol abuse...

Please forgive the babble.

Best wishes.

~wp

Babbling is encouraged!! the good stuff, the hard stuff - this is the place and congrats on how far you have come so far ... and best of luck in college!! I'm in school working on my Master's degree - to become a teacher - a dream I've had for over 20 years but never pursued.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If rabbit37 reads this, I was just wondering how you're doing. Has your husband left on his trip yet? I hope you're doing OK.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for asking, crazy, I was just coming here to post!

He left this morning. My mind has been churning with cravings, thinking how easy it would be to drive to the next small town (mustn't risk being seen!) and buy something. All sorts of other things are flying through my mind, tho... how I would have to plan and drop my meds for a day, not knowing if they're compatible... my god, what if my breath still smelled the next morning when I walked the kids to school?... and the worst of all, the fact that I am solely responsible for two young-ish children while he's away. It's this last thought that is giving me chills, and keeping me from caving. He would never forgive me - nor should he - if something happened while he was away, and I was drinking.

The consequences are just too vast for me to do this. I'm angry, of course... why can't I have a glass of wine like a normal person? Why did I have to be so thoughtless and helpless, that I would ruin any chance of drinking for the rest of my life? I didn't ask to be an alcoholic, so why did this happen to me? Selfish, whining thoughts, all of them.

I think I'm going to be okay, actually. I have to keep myself busy during school hours, because I don't dare take my kids into a liquor store. Wait, did I just say that I'm okay? No, I'm not okay, but I think I might make it. I'll be coming back here to whine some more, I'm sure.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hang in there rabbitt!!

I'm having a nasty morning as well - though I do not crave any alcohol (well it IS only 9:30am haha), but for me, major fatigue and anxiety bring on depression like dense fog.

Think ahead to the day your hubby is home and how by then you will have made it without having any drinks.

I like to compare getting over hurdles of cravings to lifting weights or exercise - it's really hard while you are doing it, but once it's over, you feel great with a few new muscles as bonus ;)

hint hint .... exercise produces very positive endorphins and is a great way to punch out anxiety and frustration... and it doesn't have to be something huge either - whether it's a nice walk around the block or a 25 mile bike ride - both work!!

take care

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, I know, exercise... that dreaded "E" word. *laugh* I'm probably going to walk to pick up the kids this afternoon, and I know I'll feel better for it. And it's my turn to walk them in the morning (neighbor and I take turns), so that's good too.

Thanks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry, I have to add this small victory: I just went to the grocery store, and *didn't* stop at the liquor store. Why do they always have to be in the same strip center? I'm home now, and that's it for the day, no more errands. At least for today (no promises for tomorrow), I feel like I have overcome the craving... not to say that I won't be white-knuckling it tonight.

Erg, why does this have to be so hard???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry, I have to add this small victory: I just went to the grocery store, and *didn't* stop at the liquor store.

Don't be sorry for adding that, lol! That's fantastic, congrats!!! I know what a major accomplishment that is ;) and you should be really proud of yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yay - on skipping right past that liquor store rabbit!!

I've had a very rough day. Got up too early for exercise, and crashed around noon of exhaustion - which brings on big ugly depression, obsession about the many pill options on my nightstand. So while i wasn't thinking about vodka, i was thinking about scrip meds. lots of them. 2 hours dozing on and off with multiple intrusive thoughts of self-medication, which would have landed me in an ER

Well I was snapped out of it since I nearly forgot to drop some stuff off at daughter's school AND i had a presentation at my younger daughter's school. Back from both now and feel a lot better.

Score one for victory here as well

anyone else checking in?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hang in there rab. My kids have kept me sober too. When I was the only licensed driver in the house I would scare myself to be sober because I would not be able to drive them to the ER or pick them up at school or whatever. Whatever mental tricks that get us through a craving. I went with number one son today to the gym, yay me! Then we got a lot of good, healthy food. I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

Interesting you should mention that, I'm going through an out-patient program right now for alcohol and chemical dependancy. While I have been sober now for 12 days, I find I'm trading one addiction for another, namely, junk food and anything sugary. I'm really frustrated with this and wish I had your mindset instead. Just shows how addictive a person I really am, but hopefully by going to the out-patient program I can get some better coping skills so I don't just swap addictions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

Interesting you should mention that, I'm going through an out-patient program right now for alcohol and chemical dependancy. While I have been sober now for 12 days, I find I'm trading one addiction for another, namely, junk food and anything sugary. I'm really frustrated with this and wish I had your mindset instead. Just shows how addictive a person I really am, but hopefully by going to the out-patient program I can get some better coping skills so I don't just swap addictions.

couple 3 years ago, I went on a diet that essentially works to clear your body and dependence on sugar. The powers that be who created this diet (which btw I lost 18lbs on in a very healthy fashion), ran the first 10 days w/o any sugar at all and this included any sort of wine/alcohol. Even natural sugars were banned like from fruit or juice as well as manufactured diet sugars. Being a diet where the plan was to maximize proteins from foods that are filling, even milk was banned (gasp - i love milk). The first 10 days were filled with creative meal planning and great cooking but the only drinks were water, tea-unsweetened and coffee (hold the sugar/cream). Their studies had proven that it takes 10 days for your body to rid itself of the desire for manufactured sugar. I lost 7lbs the first 10 days and it did work. Granted, day 7, I was ready to kill someone haha but I got thru it. After the 10 days, naturally found sugars were added back in as well as wine later on. So just the last part you'd want to skip ;)

As long as you are going thru this initial stage, could this be something to consider? If you are interested, PM me and i'll give you that diet website - not sure about posting it only cuz spam stuff.

my tdoc once called me a marionette puppet - one arm goes down, the other goes up.. that would be me trading one bad coping skill for another. Funny how nearly all of my bad coping skills are under so much better control since i quit drinks almost 6 weeks ago. Shopping and excessive exercise remain sigh...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

While I have been sober now for 12 days, I find I'm trading one addiction for another, namely, junk food and anything sugary. I'm really frustrated with this and wish I had your mindset instead. Just shows how addictive a person I really am,

OMG. If you knew me well you would know how hilarious that is. I am addicted to candy and desserts. I actually think that when you are just getting sober it helps to eat candy. I've been clean/sober off and on for many years. This time I'm clean about 18 mos. For the first year at least I think the body is just in shock and anything is better than drugs and/or alcohol (or cigarettes). If that means your eating habits are bad for a bit it's worth it if it helps you to stay sober. Obviously we have options in the snack world too. If I just HAVE to have something I consider bad, I go for the healthiest version of it that's possible.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

a LOT of addicts replace one drug for another. I replaced meth with alcohol, lots of people go off alcohol and abuse prescription meds (generally benzos or opiates) because it's easier to hide than alcohol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a drink that I disliked at a young age. Or rather "a sip." I also had "a sip" when someone drunk kept bothering me to drink something. This was in my mid-teens as well. I actually didn't know it was alcohol until after. Wow, I just remember that. Up until now I felt guilty because I thought I "gave into the peer pressure." My mind was trying to punish me I guess.

So I don't drink. I don't know many people, and it's a good way to meet people. It's a weird topic when people ask me why I don't drink. Anyone got any suggestions? If I insult drinking, I can offend people. I don't mind this, but it seems like it could hurt things. If I lie about a drinking problem, people might judge me. If I tell them about my medications, people might judge me. If I say I dislike the taste, people will suggest different drinks. If it makes me sick, people will suggest lower concentrations, I suspect. Some people really want someone to drink with (see drunk guy who bothered me as a kid).

What do you guys say when people ask you why you don't drink? Last time I said I always procrastinate with things I enjoy, and if I get one more thing I enjoy, I'll have another hour I didn't do my homework. Anyone else have an ideas? That won't won't be good for life.

My grandparents both were alcoholics. They died when I was a few years old so it's doesn't get to me. They are on my Dad's side, which has a history of alcohol problems. All three kids drink more than I think people should, and my uncle had an admitted drinking problem which I believe he resolved (while my Dad does go to AA and drink, I don't talk about it with him. He seems to drink daily, but he doesn't get drunk and only drinks after work or in the evening). Family history doesn't seem like it will avoid being judged, however.

I just fail miserably in social situations so anyway I can avoid being judged is good. And I don't want to drink nor do I think it is particularly good idea given my situation. Props to those who drink and quit though. I've never experienced that, but I have my suspicions on the difficulty of it. I know my depression had times where I felt physically compelled to keep sleeping. If alcohol addiction is like that, or worse, I'd give anyone who overcomes that 5 gold stars out of 5. Man, just thinking about those sleep-issue days makes me uncomfortable. Sorry if I'm a little off topic here. I don't know if I am or not. I should be going to sleep. I'm pretty tired, and I tend to ramble anyway (worse when tired). I really love being tired sometimes, though. Staying as long as possible then sleeping isn't something I've done in months, but I find the end is really good. I get really happy and excited like a 5 year old kid when it's time to go to sleep. Ramble. This forum rules. Dog got fixed. She is good. That stress is gone. Wee.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×