Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Sign in to follow this  
bpladybug

Narcissistic Mothers

Recommended Posts

Do you suppose there are similar effects if the person who exhibits these described traits is, while not one's mother, still a person one sees daily for many years, and who holds a lot of formative influence? A friend, for example, or sibling.

A complicated equation, this family crap.

crtclms, excellent counterpoint. Not only that, but thank you for the read. I needed that today.

yes, I think there is damage done by NPD whom you have regular contact with - whether it be a boss or sibling

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The behavior described on that site sounds eerily like someone I know very well. It would explain a few things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I worked for a very narcissistic boss once. I didnt understand what was going on but I was totally miserable. Aside from him being a total asshole, the whole situation was bringing out the worst in me. Eventually I found that I was projecting childhood family struggles onto people around me at work without realizing it. on another level, I took this guy's behavior personally and let it affect me. I got a big dose of psych 101.. projection and projective identification.

NPD can be very hurtful to those around. But these people themselves come from emotionally broken families so eventually we must come to terms with that and move on. Its not necessarily a personal thing when they hurt you, but it still hurts like hell. As adults we can find ways to place limits, but children dont have those skills and take a real beating. =(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Children not only don't have the skills to protect themselves from NPD, but they don't have the experience to recognize this disorder, especially in a parent. They are so vulnerable. Children will believe it is all their own fault. Unless at some point, perhaps as teens, another party helps them understand that the parent is difficult or unreasonable. That is what happened to my husband as a young teen. A babysitter told him that his parents were off base. That validation helped him survive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know if my mother is narcissitic, but she sure does favor one set of grandchildren over the others. I just don't understand.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

wow this reminds me of my bf's mother..too bad I can't show him without hurting his feelings. Good find!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder if whoever wrote that was writing a not-so-subtle biography of my mother. Not really, but that's how eerily close it it. Us kids escaped being pit against each other, though, because I was SO much older than them that rivalry didn't make sense (I wasn't going to get into a fight with my 5-year-old sister when I was 16). Somehow, we all get along okay, though we're not very close. I always knew there was something pretty dysfunctional about our family, but I was convinced it was 95% me and 5% her being slightly more sensitive and anxious than most and thus getting easily confused over how to deal with awful, awful me. Until my late 20s. Part of the abuse was keeping others away from me as much as possible and isolating me at home, so I wouldn't get too many outsider perspectives or anything resembling a real support network. 31 and still don't have one, but I'm getting better about using online resources as a substitute while I work on the social phobia.

So glad I found the articles. I may not be her daughter anymore (I'm her son, since 2008) but dang, that crap lingers like a rotten smell in the fridge, except that it's a heck of a lot harder to clean out than January's forgotten casserole.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×