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Parapluie

Anyone on the schizophrenia spectrum want to share?

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Was pissed off earlier today. Decided to switch cellphone service to T-Mobile since its cheaper. We got to the store at 9:30am and the door was locked even though their sign said they opened at 9am. We drove to the next nearest T-Mobile store and had a similar problem. Online it said this store opens at 10am so we waited until 10 then saw the sign on the door said 10:30. We got pissed and left. I guess they're cheap for a reason huh?

Apart from that, my mood's been all over the place today. Deeply depressed to laughing and joking around and back to depressed within hours. Friggin roller coaster. And usually a sign that my sza symptoms are going to spike soon. I have been seeing bugs and distortions in things more often than normal. Here's to hoping I don't end up in wonderland within the week. Though, honestly, I could probably use the excitement. Things have been boring as hell lately.

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I'm feeling better today.  I went to bed early last night and proceeded to sleep for 14 hours.  Apparently I needed the rest, I'm feeling significantly less disorganized today, thanks to sleep and medication increase. 

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Glad you're feeling better, Schizophrenic_Sanity! 

 

I'm doing well, though still REALLY nervous for my exam on Tuesday! It's gonna be killer. 

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Just about every time I wake up, I get up and *HAVE* to eat something, whether I am hungry or not.  I'm like a magnet to the kitchen and food.  I've tried to distract myself by doing other things, but I just get stressed out because I can't eat something.  Rarely I can go without the food after waking up.

 

Does this happen to anyone here?

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Just about every time I wake up, I get up and *HAVE* to eat something, whether I am hungry or not.  I'm like a magnet to the kitchen and food.  I've tried to distract myself by doing other things, but I just get stressed out because I can't eat something.  Rarely I can go without the food after waking up.

 

Does this happen to anyone here?

Yes, I look around the kitchen if I wake up.  One thing I do is brush my teeth,  It distracts me for a bit, gets me out of the kitchen, and sometimes I won't need to eat after.

Went to lunch with my mother-in-law today.  It was nice, now I'm stuffed.

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 One thing I do is brush my teeth

 

 

I don't constantly eat, or feel the urge, but if I'm hungry and don't want to eat quite yet, brushing my teeth is really helpful because I don't want to mess up that "clean" feeling and minty breath.

 

 

I am DONE with my class for the quarter!!!!!! Just turned in my final paper. Such a good feeling. Now I just need to sit back and let the grades roll in; so far I have a 95% in the class. :D

I'm feeling better today.  I went to bed early last night and proceeded to sleep for 14 hours.  Apparently I needed the rest, I'm feeling significantly less disorganized today, thanks to sleep and medication increase. 

 

Yay! I'm glad you're feeling better!

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Just about every time I wake up, I get up and *HAVE* to eat something, whether I am hungry or not.  I'm like a magnet to the kitchen and food.  I've tried to distract myself by doing other things, but I just get stressed out because I can't eat something.  Rarely I can go without the food after waking up.

 

Does this happen to anyone here?

Yes, I look around the kitchen if I wake up.  One thing I do is brush my teeth,  It distracts me for a bit, gets me out of the kitchen, and sometimes I won't need to eat after.

 

 

Thanks.  I'll have to try that.

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Just about every time I wake up, I get up and *HAVE* to eat something, whether I am hungry or not.  I'm like a magnet to the kitchen and food.  I've tried to distract myself by doing other things, but I just get stressed out because I can't eat something.  Rarely I can go without the food after waking up.

 

Does this happen to anyone here?

 

This happens to me too, though only in the morning when I first wake up. I feel compelled to eat and get really cranky if I can't. It's like I am a magnet to food too. It's annoying. I don't have a solution, I can just relate. 

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I keep hearing that I deserve death. Been in bed nearly all day. Voices are bad. Intrusive thoughts too.

But I'm scared to try the light box. I keep hearing it will burn my skin and eyes. I don't think I would be safe with one. I don't want to use one at all.

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I feel weird that my life is going fine [except for a crazy landlady - 7 more weeks to go on the lease] and I haven't had symptoms for a while. I can't help but second-guess myself and wonder if I'm hypomanic or if the next crash is inevitably around the corner. I think I've been used to the chaos of past years and having a prolonged state of stability is quite foreign. 

Edited by Reverse The Polarity
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B-R-E-A-T-H-I-N-G  Trying not to dwell on past mistakes so I can function in the here and now.  My sister reminded me I need to stay sane.

 

In another note my father apologized to my sister for literally kicking her out the door once.  She didn't remember it and thought there was something wrong with his memory, but it happened. He never is wrong or says he is sorry so that was huge

Edited by confused

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i feel you on the stability being foreign.

i have zero voices in my head

zero

not even like "my own voice" or whatever

 

and it's really unsettling because it's so unfamiliar

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I think I'm finally at a point in life where I can actually make concrete plans for the future. In the past, I would either try to plan but have my plans derailed by flaring symptoms, or avoid making too many plans because it felt like I was either being symptomatic, or dealing with the aftermath. I enjoy the current stability but I'm so used to feeling under siege from being batshit that I can't fully relax.

 

Maybe the feeling of having to be vigilant against symptoms is just part and parcel of living with MI. I've been doing my best to simply enjoy living [and it's been a relief] but these thoughts arise now and again. 

 

@confused: yes, that sounds like a very massive moment for your family. 

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Mell and RTP, I know how you feel. I've been feeling really well mood wise for the past week and I'm like "Is this becoming hypomania???" I believe that being vigilant about symptoms comes with MI, for sure. And I just noticed I haven't hallucinated in like nearly a week, that I've noticed. It feels a bit weird not to be seeing things constantly. A bit empty, if you will. 

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I keep hearing that I deserve death. Been in bed nearly all day. Voices are bad. Intrusive thoughts too.

But I'm scared to try the light box. I keep hearing it will burn my skin and eyes. I don't think I would be safe with one. I don't want to use one at all.

 

Have you talked to your pdoc lately?  It sounds like you are really in distress from your posting here and in other threads.

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I can't get enough tabouleh.

 

I've seen a few of those comics, confused, but didn't know what the series was called or what site they were from, so thanks.

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I can relate to those of you talking about stability being foreign.  It's so rare for me that when it happens I don't know what to do with myself, it's weird.  Like right now I feel better than I have been but not perfect, and I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  It seems like just when things start going better for me something happens and I'm floridly psychotic yet again.  I always have symptoms too, the difference is how bad they are at any given moment.  I can never get away from it.  Sometimes life feels just about impossible.  

 

Also, thanks to Para and forgetmenot for the well wishes.  I hope it lasts. 

Edited by Schizophrenic_Sanity

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