Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

MusicFreak

Trouble looking people in the eye

Recommended Posts

Sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong forum. Does anyone else have extreme trouble looking people in the eyes? I feel like I physically can not do it for longer than a few seconds. It feels like they will look through my 'I'm fine." Mask, and other things I cannot explain for the life of me. Anyone else?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have the same problem. It is like they could see right in to me ans see the things I do not want them see. I fear that they see there is something wrong with me or that I have mental ilness.Sorry for my english, it is not my native language.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's not as much of a problem as it used to be. I still can't hold eye contact for long but at one time I couldn't do it at all. Eyes are the windows to the soul they say, and I didn't want anyone seeing what's behind my windows. But also, someone looking at you can seem threatening if you doubt that they have good intentions. People with social phobia tend to have abysmally low self-esteem, so they (we? me?) expect nothing good from social interactions. Meeting people is something to be endured rather than enjoyed. I don't expect to get on well with another person so I'll just be glad if I didn't say anything which makes me hate myself. But you miss a lot if you can't look someone in the face. We read other people's feelings by looking at their facial expressions, and if we can't look then we feel more alone because we can't empathise with them fully. I can hold eye contact a lot longer than I could at one time, and nothing bad happens if you look at someone in the eyes. I know how difficult it can be though.

Edited by Fluent In Silence

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to think I was clever looking in people's direction but not quite exactly at them, but it backfired because the people kept turning and looking behind them to find out what I was looking at.  So I look in eyes for short periods as best I can.  Like you, I have found it gets easier with time.  The more I'm forced to be around people, the easier it gets.  I hear you about meeting people is endured rather than enjoyed.  I'd like to enjoy being around people, but my nerves make it so uncomfortable I just want to leave.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's harder for men. Oh so much harder for us poor, poor men! But when I'm avoiding eye contact I tend to look downwards. A woman once asked me if I was staring at her tits, and the honest explanation was "No, I'm just trying to avoid looking at your face." Turns out this isn't an appeasing answer. But it wasn't meant like that, was just anxious about looking you in the eyes, not perving over your funbags or calling you ugly. And that's why I'm single!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ya, but it depends on my mood.

When i'm anxious and depressed I don't look at anyone in the eyes or at people much at all.

When I'm confident and happy I do.  

Edited by BrianOCD

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i have trouble looking people in the eye unless i'm extremely comfortable with them, and if i'm anxious even then i have trouble. more often i'll look mostly away but dart back to eyes for a nanosecond once in a while to let people know i'm still listening. i try to keep something in my hands while i talk to people (a rubber band, a pencil, etc) so i can look at that while i talk to them. i feel like i can't look someone in the eye without staring and being awkward.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to have this problem. Now I just stare at people in the eye and feel like I have zoned out. I can tell it makes them feel nervous because they start to look away from me. Try looking at the their the gap between their eyes lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×