By Angeni Mai
I'm mostly looking for advice at this moment on how to foster and encourage my significant other's (soon to be married) interests. She seems to want to share a lot of things with me, such as things about other people and all; however, when it comes to her interests, she tells me about them but doesn't include me in them. I know she tries but she also gives up if she even perceives that I'm not interested. Often times it isn't a lack of interest but rather that I may be having a bad day or an having difficulties with things and processing. (I have Cerebral Palsy and multiple mental health diagnoses)
I don't mean to make her feel like I have no interest or I don't want to get along, but is it not ok to indulge in my own thing/ have some alone time? A lot of things I do bother her sensory issues (singing opera, playing jokes, touch randomly without remembering her boundaries because my memory is shit). I want to better our relationship by sharing some in each other's interests but I also still have that need to do my own thing when it is something I know she can't handle. She's also pregnant which makes her sensory issues twice as bad, which has lead to some hard feelings, especially when I would like to sing (as I have a generally loud singing voice as I've sung opera for the past 8 years.
She also has a developmental delay that causes her to need to speak things aloud and get that feedback on social situations and some other things to process them, in which she is quite long-winded most of the time. That has also lead to more hard feelings as it leads to limited time to indulge in anything else but talking from the time we are up until the time she goes to bed. Any other time that's left during the day, she usually insists that we spend it together because she wants to be close but she has also said that if we don't have that closeness each and every day, multiple times a day even (most days) then she and I will be too distant and she won't be able to open back up to me because I'll be a stranger (she has had issues with selective mutism when she was a child is the only thing I could assume she means by she will stop opening up). It may just be a matter of her mental health and I just misunderstood what she meant, however, is it wrong of me to feel like she is somewhat playing mind games/ manipulating me/ twisting my arm for me to pay all of my attention to her?
She is currently visiting from Canada and I live 422 miles away from her home. She has said that things will be different when we go back to Canada in 5 days, but I don't know whether or not I can trust this as I have seen different happen when she's back home and we just talk over video call. She says she doesn't really lie, and I know that, but is it bad of me to feel like she just doesn't really know herself all that well in what she really and needs from a person, especially when she's never really been in a long term relationship before us getting together? I'm really trying to let go of the past but this is just a lot to handle.
Does anybody have any advice on how to cope with these situations? Is it too much for me to continue to wish for and sometimes expect her to understand my needs? Is it too much for me to want to be left alone sometimes (as it helps me to cope with life and process my own emotions)?
I really don't want her or our relationship to suffer because I'm not giving her what she needs.
Thanks for any responses. They are much appreciated.
P.S. ~ Are there any books you would recommend somebody in a relationship with somebody who has ASD reads to have a better understanding of what it is like to have autism or books on how to cope with the differences in their partner?
P.P.S. ~ I know she's not a manipulative person and she wouldn't mindfully force me to do what I don't wish to, it's just I feel backed into a corner most days and I lash out emotionally in anger and start to yell when she's annoying me, most often times at the expense of being called mean when I say something she doesn't view as true and, at the best of times, neither do I. I guess it's just hard when both parties have mental health issues that result in a lot of emotions (and a TON of anger) and developmental issues, and social skills deficits on her end. I love her to death though and just want to make things easier on the both of us, more so on her though.
By X Anime Lover X
I’ll get straight to it, I cut myself.
This was my first time cutting.
I don’t know why, the thought of cutting kept haunting my mind. I decided after school I would do it. Just once.
I was alone in the house at the time and got everything I needed. I had a first aid kit, a small screwdriver and a sharpener.
I took out the blade and I was nervous and did it high up on my thigh. I cut twice on my thigh then on my hips. I got carried away and cleaned up the cuts. There were more cuts then I intended and I cleaned everything up hiding the evidence.
I’m a little shaky from what I did but I don’t regret it.
I don’t believe I did it and it doesn’t bother me.
I’m scared what others will think if they find out.
By X Anime Lover X
Ok let’s get started, so I have a crush on a boy in my year.
I like him a lot but I can’t find any ways to get close to him. He is normally surrounded by people and I get embarrassed. I also get sad when I haven’t said anything to them at least once a day. Even a small ‘hi’ helps.
The only time they are alone is when they are walking home. I could walk home and walk with him but there’s these problems:
1) My dad picks us up since he is a stay at home dad. By us I mean me and my brother.
2) The way he walks is different to how I would, so I would have to figure out a way but I’m willing too.
I’m going to try and walk home with him. I’ll use my phone as a map then once we have walked close enough I can say I’ve accidentally went the wrong way. Since it will be random how I’m suddenly walking with him I’ll make sure to say a reason why.
Thank you and does anyone have any advice?
Can anyone ( @Velvet Elvis or @Cerberus or @crazynotstupid maybe if you remember me) please change this account I just created so I can get HaloGirl66 back as a username and "Inmate Emeritus" title. I don't care about my post count or all that jazz. and I just spent forever trying to set this up.
I had spent the other day trying to recover the email for the previous account but i don't think I have that email addy anymore (kresge.org or wayne.org maybe). I tried my hotmail and gmail and that didn't seem to work, But I figured having a dedicated account for this anyway. TIA if anyone can assist. Below is a screengrab of my old profile.