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Three days ago I felt like there was mold growing in my brain and it was controlling my thoughts. I am now in a time of feeling a little less crazy, but I know in 30 minutes that might change again. Yesterday, I was waiting for someone to drive me home from church and I started believing the whole church was a cult and all religion is a mind control cult, which some people believe this but its not normal for me. I grew up in church. It made me feel very afraid. Then I started believing that demons were in my brain because of the mold in my brain. I tried to call my old pastor about this and he just reassured me that this is a mental health issue but  I cant trust him. I cant trust anybody right now. The only person I trust is my therapist I am seeing tomorrow. I feel like something catachlysmic is coming. The last week every morning I check the news on my phone to see if a nuke hit. I feel like I'm one of the only people going to heaven and I am having a hard time trusting anyone else. I have also been having weird dreams, nightmares. I have lost touch with my normal self. I take geodon and feel less paranoid but that wears off after a few hours. Ativan helps too, but not that much. 

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Neptune, have you seen your doctor or talked to your therapist about this? It sounds like you are living in hell but the good news is it’s all one big delusion and it’s not real. I know you may not believe me or find it impossible to, but at least try and talk to someone and soon. 

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Were you able to see your therapist yet and was it helpful?

At my most religious I used to go through periods of thinking that my parish clergy/congregation were being controlled by demons. In retrospect it was probably a delusion but I didn't have a therapist at the time. My attendance at church has dropped lately, in part because of suspiciousness of other church members.

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