I loved listening to this band, mainly because it's a 90's alternative rock band.. and 90's kicked ass. I am pretty sure a lot of people smoked weed listening to their songs.
This is one of my favorites by them.. they covered " Love Song" by The Cure.
This is the last free week before I start working fulltime for 5 weeks again, so I made sure to do as much as possible I guess.
I went to the hairdresser, dyed my hair, exercized twice and went to the marketplace. I did A LOT of social stuff and finished some projects.
I also saw tdoc on Thursday. We talked about possible future relationships. See, I had a second date with a guy this week and he scares me because I think he might be ''relationship material''. I made sure to give him a lot of compliments and tell him that I liked him a lot as a person, not only as a sexpartner. I think my hints were obvious enough, because he told me ''I think we want more of eachother than only...'' and he said he would like to get to know me better. I want that, too. But I want to take it slow.
A few days before my ex boyfriend (who dumped me on Christmas) started to text me again to let me know that he misses me, the sex and good conversations... but no he doesn't want a relationship. I cut him off a few times, though it is hard for me. But having any type of contact with him makes me miserable and nervous, and sleeping with him results in an emotional hangover. I cut off contact again, told him that I had many reasons, and I would get in touch with him if I felt like it. Tdoc said: ''Often people do not know what they miss until they let it go. He probably did not expect that you would not want to be in his life anymore.''
I texted Fleur, but she hasn't responded in days. I think I have to let that go for now. Rose and I do text and it's flirty. We will see eachother on Monday.
I am also starting to become flirty, which is quite something. I feel more free to just try things out, it seems. Last night at a party with people from my student union, there was this girl (that I know) who has very sarcastic and cynical humour, which I really appreciate. We started to make jokes together and kinda being playful towards eachother and others. When I went away I gave her a kiss in her neck, and she said something like ''Oh God are you serious...''. It sounded like she thought I was a tease but I'm not sure! So I will just back off and let's see how she reacts to me the next time...?
Last but not least, am binging on sex again these weeks... months? I know I'm doing it. It's hard because I still need to figure these things out. I feel like a large part of me is doing it out of habit, really. But well, sex will probably always be my ''thing''. Of course I do love it. It's all pretty blurry.
I guess a dancable slightly erotic gay vampire video is appropriate here, because of all the partying and general queerness in my life atm.
Not completely sfw.
I have uploaded the pictures to an old entry! Click:
Spinach quiche and a crowded house (08-05-15)
Last week I went for dinner with K. and her boyfriend S., Y. and S. K. made spinach quiche with feta and one with camembert. K. doesn't usually cook so it was special, hehe. I wanted to invite people for drinks to my place later because roommate would be away again. So after dinner, Y. and I went to my place. He actually helped me with cleaning/re-arranging my room for a bit. He apoligized but I was actually curious what he thought. My room is tiny, so any ideas are welcome I think!
I already went with K's boyfriend S. for some snacks and drinks. I bought:
- a watermelon
- milk chocolate & butterscotch chocolate
- cherry tomatoes
- mandarin flavoured beer
- amaretto cream and red wine (earlier)
People also brought a lot of crisps, fancy chocolate, wine and beer and S. brought a bottle of sherry. Which is now dying in my fridge because I hate sherry haha.
First B. arrived, later K. and her boyfriend. M., the girl who I took as a date to a party also arrived, and brought a friend! I loved it that she did that, makes me feel like she kinda trusts me or something, if you know what I mean? Anyway, everyone sat on my bed so suddenly the bed was completely full and I was a bit afraid if it wouldn't break?
The friend was very energetic and suddenly said ''I have ADHD'' and I highfived her and started a conversation with her about it. It was very funny and I said: ''Well, I have a bong, do you want weed or hash?'' And she said she was inexperienced with both but she went with it! Lol. Love some impulsivity, right? I decided on weed because ADHD stereotypes right.
My dear friend and gorgeous blonde woman A. also arrived, and told me she has a job application on Monday for a PhD. Of course I was jealous but I was enthousiastic etc.
Apparantly B. put on Facebook that there was a party at my place, so suddenly charming boy C. arrived, L., the girl who has the same name as me (which is not Sawi, lol) and suddenly my room was FULL. People were standing, though put some blankets on the ground for them to sit on.
And uhm.. people (and I) got a bit drunk. Maybe also stoned. I dunno. Was I stoned? Not sure. I was wasted, probably though. And I realize that it's a lot to handle, wasted and these folks in your room. S. started to throw the watermelon, Y. was standing on my bed (both told them firmly to stop)... it's like little kids, lol. I was afraid my roommate below me would start to complain, but I heard no complaints so I think I did a pretty good job. I did told everyone to be quiet when they were standing outside of my room... again and again.
Of course, music. I bought a second hand album last week from Outkast that I played for the first time. It was pretty good... and diverse? Y. said with the first song of Speakerboxxx ''It sounds agressive!'' I reassured him that Outkast rarely is agressive, from what I heard. I played:
- Outkast - Speakerboxxx/ The Love Below (2003)
- Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauren Hill (1998)
- Gare du Nord - Sex 'N' Jazz (2008)
- Kelis - FOOD (2014)
So yeah, I had fun! No cuddling this time, but I talked to a lot of people and the three people who came in last (that I don't know that well yet) were very nice to me. Around 1.30am people already started to leave...
I had a pretty bad hangover... again. I know that I can enjoy myself while not getting wasted but sometimes I just enjoy it a bit too much.
Anyway, some pictures. I know that I picked the blurry ones but it's on purpose, because not sure if they are comfortable showing their faces here, you know. In chat I am willing to share clear pictures of myself and people but not here (yet).
In the middle you can see Y.'s fabulous hair. The hand on the right is my dear friend A., she has one of my stuffed animals in her lap, indeed. You can see the bong too.
M. and the friend she brought with her.
Post-party picture. My mum told me she likes to look at post-party scenes so I make these pictures for her.
Btw these were my roses that week, don't they look lovely? I only paid €2,20 for them.
I want to write blog entries at least a few times per week, but I just feel so much pressure to make it super good and fun, include pictures and stuff.
So whatever, I just start by telling some fun experiences I had lately!
Hash and cuddle puddles - Friday party at my place (10/04/15)
Last Friday I organized a small party at my place. I used to be super self conscious about those things, afraid that no-one would show up/like it, that I wouldn't be a good host, that my room would be too cluttered/tiny/ugly etc. Lately I've been thinking, fuck it. Do I care where a party is hosted? Am I whiny when I get invited to a party about what drinks I will get? No, I like to be invited to parties and whatever, right?
So, on Thursday evening my friend K. called. K. is a very enthousiastic young woman from my student union, likes everything and will always invite everyone to come along - to a party, to her parents, it really doesn't matter. She also loves to take care of people and is the person in my student union that will actively help people to get a job or dormroom, even when they are not asking. Like me, she is impulsive, and always full of ideas and wants to do ALL of them. We're a great team, because we both react with ''YES LET'S DO THAT'' to like, every plan the other has, and then sometimes we actually do it, and it turns out awesome hehe.
Anyway, so Thursday we were on the phone and asked eachother what we were going to d on Friday. She said she would go dancing. I said I did not feel like dancing because I am often exhausted on Friday, that I felt more like a small party with just drinks and relaxing. Was there anyone organizing one? No, she said, but I could do it? Why yes, I could.
So, within 24 hours I had organized one. I informd the roommates - the one on my floor wouldn't sleep at home, and the one on the first floor said that it was cool but if I wanted to ''take it easy'' after midnight, it was fine. So, cool!
I was excited all Friday, I had to switch off my phone because I could not stop texting people haha.
I live in a room of 13m2. I have two chairs, and a two-person sized bed. My roommate lent me two extra chairs, which I was very happy about. I had some nice paper still from a previous party, to cover up my desk and drawer. Pink with white polkadots - cute, and it would protect most damage if someone would spoil food.
For the welcome-drink, I used one bottle of prosecco mixed with lemon ice (about 10 table spoons I think) and mint. I stirred it and poured it in five glasses. It looked very pretty and tasted delish. I love sour and fresh stuff. I also bought beer, and had vodka and red wine. People brought beer and wine too.
For snacks, I had
- scones with goji berries and raisins, with raspberry jam
- cruditees (cucumber, red and yellow pepper) with tzatisiki
- toast with tzatisiki and tapenade
- cherry tomatoes with balisilicum
- unsalted almonds
- crisps with salsa
The scones were very popular, and I didn't even made them myself. They were on sale from Easter, heh. K. brought the appletart and someone else brought the crisps. I was very proud of all the snacks, but next time I will take it easy because it was pretty expensive, with the drinks too...
I also bought hash and weed. I live in the Netherlands so you can just get that. I have a bong and I rarely use it, so I thought, hey why not.
The party started at 21h and from 21.30h, the first two people arrived, a couple, J. and V. I think J. is a very nice guy (and when I was drunk I have told him that). I'm not really into V., but because I like J. a lot I thought I should invite V. too. Later, Y. arrived, and later K. and her roommate, the person who usually organizes parties, S. My date from the dance, M. was also invited and she actually got to my place. I was afraid that she would be embarrassed because I think I am a bit weird around her, but she seemed fine. Then, B. arrived too and J. and V. left.
I had lighted a lot of candles and brought some fresh flowers. It was warm in my room, so the windows were open. It was very cosy. I played:
Sade - Promise
George Michael - Listen Without Prejudice
Lauren Hill - The Miseducation of Lauren Hill
Amy Winehouse - Frank
Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin IV
Y, S. and K. actually asked for coffee when they came in because everyone was tired from study or work. V. actually organized a conference that day, so she was knackered and only had water. K., B., M. and I were sitting on the bed, it was very cosy.
When it got later and everyone had a couple of beers, I asked if anyone wanted to use the bong and if we wanted to get stoned (weed) or high (hash). I've never been high myself before, and only stoned once, so I was curious about the hash. I bought them just a few hours before, because I thought - well if I have drinks and snacks, why not have these options too? I told it to the guy in the coffeeshop, who said that I was ''a very good host'' and laughed, and said that he wanted me on Facebook to tell people that people should go to my parties because mine are awesome. I said I didn't have Facebook, he said how can I contact you then? I said: ''Well, if you have sold me good stuff, I will be back!''
I decided to ask for my friend E. and started to text her. She was drunk, as she often is in the weekend, and we usually drunk text eachother in the weekends haha.
But she had some advice and S. and I prepared the bong. I had asked him for tabacco, and he had brought apple flavored tabacco. We used half of the piece of hash, and I, S., Y., B and M. decided to smoke. I think we should have used the whole piece, because S. and B. didn't feel anything. M. wanted to cuddle and read, I felt very awake and ''bright'', and Y. was mumbling about ''feeling a halo around his head'' (?). The effect lasted for about an hour or maybe two, so it was a short high I guess? I wasn't really impressed but it was nice to try!
At this time Lauren Hill was on and everyone seemed to love it! Haha I was so suprised. I really love hiphop and R&B, never thought these people from my student union would appreciate it! M. and I even dancing around for a bit!
Now everyone was just tired and mellow. Y. and M. sat on my bed with their heads resting against eachother and I said that it looked cosy and I wanted to join them. Then we had a cuddle puddle which included everyone! S. was laying against my chest and stroking my left arm, and my hand was on M.'s leg and she was stroking me to. I was relieved that apparantly she still felt comfortable doing that after our dance... and I realized that she's just cuddly. I was wearing a vintage seventies dress so I felt like a hippie I need cuddles really bad these days so I was very happy.
Then, M. also came in but everyone was going home. It was about 2.30am when the last people left.
The morning after, I cleaned everything and did the dishes. However, the fancy paper is still on my desk and drawer because they are still pretty clean and it looks cute. And I still need to bring back the empty bottles of beers to the supermarket.
Oh. and throw away the empty other bottles.
I really loved the evening and I want to organize a new one in a few weeks
Edit: I loved writing this post! If you like it too I will make more posts describing my ''adventures'' ^^ Gotta go to sleep now. Bye lovelies!
I do hear voices and sounds both inside and outside of my head when I am in various mood states, but one thing I seem to get a lot is voices, sounds and music coming from noisy objects, even when my mood is apparently stable.
These have included: Hairdryers, fans, showers, generators... all I can think of right now...
These have varied from heavy metal, classical, distinct female voices, gospel, male voices...
Does anyone else get this?
I've heard this may be something which 'normal' people get too, though I don't really hear about it often. When I asked non-MI friends they all said it never happened to them.
I'm interested to hear.
It creeps the hell out of me, not to mention annoying as heck.