I can't remember a time when food wasn't THE main focus in my life. Even when I'm so full and can't eat another bite...my thoughts wander to what else I'll eat later. Diets, eating plans, Weight Watchers Summer Camps, gastric bypass, journaling what I eat and/or exercising will START to give results the first few weeks and then my body just basically says "F you" and shuts down. No more weight loss. If I can't get the gratification of weekly seeing measurable change in my efforts...I'm right back to food.
Overeating has ruined my life. Whoever I COULD have been when I started out a sweet little girl was squandered when I somehow started using food to placate myself VERY YOUNG. Then it became a horrible guilty, shameful and "what's wrong with me" set of glasses I looked at life through. I was constantly pushed by my mom to stop eating, go on a diet and exercise. She tried EVERYTHING until well into my adult life. She too had weight/eating issues and knew what life would be like for me. She tried to help the only way she knew how but it set up a terrible vicious cycle of sneaking food to make myself feel better and loved and treated special...that's what food feels like to me. When I look at my family dynamics I can see all the ways life in general contributed to this addiction. But breaking out of it has been a constant struggle. Now for the last 2-3 years I've literally given up. I'm 58 now and it feels like, short of a miracle, I'll die fat. My hips, spine and knees are in terrible shape (of course they are).
Being fat set up a way of thinking and acting in all relationships with people that I also am exhausted with. I honestly with all my heart and fiber of my being think and feel that pleasing someone else will keep them in my life and they'll pay what little attention to me they are willing to give me. Not all people have been horrible, I've had some great friends over my life...but of course, THEY HAD LIVES and I was never the center of anyone else's life. I would have done anything through my mid forties to make someone else the center of my life in hopes of finally finding someone who wanted to team up and walk through life together. Now? I'm too old. I'm too set in my ways. It's just not as important. I'm past the age of finding someone to "be a couple" with...no I'll never define who I am that way. I'm too old for kids and of course at this point I should've had grandchildren. There will be no one to take care of me as I get older. I literally hope God takes me out while I can still walk and am living on my own. I never want to be institutionalized in an assisted living/nursing home type of situation.
Thanks for reading this.
I am currently trying to figure out how to best put a stop to my compulsive/binge eating. I am doing my best to explore potentially useful medications, and had a question for all of you. Have any of you tried zonisamide (zonegran) for these issues? I know that topiramate has a much wider user base, but zonisamide seems to be better tolerated than topiramate does. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find many testimonies online in regards to its use to help curb overeating. I am currently taking 50 mg naltrexone, and it has largely lost its effects, so I am searching for an additional medication to see if it might help. Anyway, any feedback is greatly appreciated!
This is my first post on this website. I'm posting because I have a few questions regarding compulsive/binge eating and naltrexone. First off, a little background on me. I have a pretty long history with eating disorders; I was diagnosed with anorexia when I was thirteen, and I am now twenty. In this time I have been all over the spectrum, from anorexia to bulimia to binge eating and back again. I'm so exhausted of all of this, and I just want to move on with my life. Anyway, my latest "cycle" has been in the form of compulsive/binge eating and some purging (although not very often.) I use these different terms because sometimes I will "binge" (eat a large amount in a short time) and other times I will "eat compulsively"(eat a large amount throughout the course of the day.) These differing episodes have been occurring every day for nearly three weeks, and needless to say my health has been negatively effected because of it. I became so desperate that I began researching medications that might help with this, and the one that seemed most promising was naltrexone. So, I asked my psychiatrist and she prescribed me 50mg/day. I have been taking it for nearly two weeks now, and while I have seen a bit of improvement, I still find myself overeating (in fact I had a pretty bad binge today, which is what prompted me to post here.) It is strange because it seems as though my ability to feel satiated or full is completely missing; no matter how much I eat I still want more, and my body/brain don't turn off the hunger cues. My stomach can become very distended, but I still feel "empty." Anyway, My questions are:
Have any of you had success with this medication?
What has been the optimal doseage for you? As I said I take 50mg/day, but I think that 100mg would be better (I sent an email to my psychiatrist today requesting an increase.)
How long did it take for you to see marked improvement? As stated above, I have been taking it for nearly two weeks with a bit of improvement, but not nearly what I was hoping. Does it take time to "build up" or to introduce the full effect?
I understand that medication is not a fix-all for these issues, and that work is required on my part. I would simply like to lessen or stop the constant rumination on food and eating that I experience in all my waking hours. It's driving me crazy!
Sorry for the long-winded post, I'm just making sure that all relevant information is avaliable to you. I am also more than happy to answer any questions you may have for me. I appreciate any feedback or thoughts, and I look forward to interacting with you all in the future! Thanks for reading.
Hey I am new. Long-time eating disorder sufferer. Started with anorexia and morphed into bulimia, then went to drugs, then went back to EDs, then went orthorexic/exercise bulimic. Went to treatment for the second time a couple years ago and have a treatment team. Noticed that once I started working hard on my ED, I was spending like crazy. Also was on Rexulti at that time. Spending comes and goes but gets bad when my eating gets better. Drives me nuts! Brain needs the rush. Feel like I can't escape. I hate spending, but drugs and bulimia seem worse? Anyone else struggle with this?
i am prescribed 30mg Adderall XR TID and 10mg IR PRN. I always take one of my 30mg XR in the morning, an hour before I need to wake up. Then I go back to sleep and somewhere within 45 min to 1.5 hours, the adderall gets me up. (I have a hard time getting up in the AM). Anyone else do this or am I weird? Lol