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At age 50, I'm getting to know myself. I'm fairly disconnected to my body and emotions.

So here it is. Lately, I've been curious as to why when I was around 6 or 7, I would scream bloody murder after being put to bed. I was terrified and I don't remember why. I would get yelled at to be quiet. I can still feel that fear.

Also,when I was 3-5 my parents would lie about where we were going, but really take me to the doctors. I wouldn't get out of the car and would scream bloody murder. I didn't want him checking in my underware.

Clinically speaking, what do you think was going on? Sexual abuse? Separation problems from being adopted? Psychological issues? 

I know you can't diagnose, I just need a little input please. Thank you

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IDK but sexual abuse seems like a possibility. I have to say that the stuff you describe is also just shitty parenting. Lying to you about going to the doctor? Come on.  My son has trauma related to doctors and I always, always tell him where we are going and what they are going to do, prepare him beforehand. And yelling at you for being scared? Man. I’m sorry.

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Oh definitely shitty parenting. No doubt. Abuse on all levels. Fucked me up.

I have always suspected sexual abuse, but my brain can't take it. 

She used to stand me naked on the toilet and violently scrub my body. Including my privates, until I would cry outin pain.

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