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I’ve been dealing with major depressive disorder and anxiety for several years now. I’ve read a lot of books on psychology and neurology. But I’ve only recently started seeing a psychiatrist. I was getting prescriptions from general physicians. Currently I’m on Wellbutrin and it works great for my depression but my anxiety still shows up. I told my doctor that it feels like an under-lying current. The anxiety is constant but I keep it at bay. He prescribed me Seroquel 25mg. Today is my second day on it. I don’t think I really knew how to describe my anxiety before today because today my brain feels silent. It’s like before there was a constant negative voice, my own voice - I guess, that would always repeat any negative thought I ever had. All my doubts were vocalized by this voice. I’ve never described it as a voice before because I always associated it with just thoughts. But today those thoughts are not there. I’m calm and that’s weird. So my question is, is it really anxiety?
One of my most problematic symptoms is the voice that says horrible things to me. It can be either silent just in my head or I can say it out loud. Examples are: Everybody hates you. You're pathetic. You stupid bitch. You're useless. You fucking idiot. These insults are relentless and happen when I'm alone. Often it's when I'm in bed and I have to yell out something like shut up get out of my head. But this is endless and the voice will come back, guaranteed. What are some good strategies for when the voice speaks to you? It's really torturing me and the constant criticism is destroying what little self esteem I have.
Too in your head to be voices, too loud to be normal thoughts? MAybe i'm talking about different things here... Do you know what I'm saying if I say thoughts that won't stop talking? Not always a bad thing, but I'm very unresponsive to outside stimulation when I'm like this. It's llike all this information just goes into your mind like BAAM BAM usually accompanied by visuals in the brain (not usually literally visual) just being supper "absorbed" idk is that the right word? sometimes its random "voices", "loud thoughts" NOT auditory. saying something just plain random.ex "Jerome, I kow you aint been at the grocery store!" or. .. "that's why old ladies don't buy eachhothers facewash" etc... maybe I'm all over the place here maybe I'm looking for some direction. ALso idk I this is EVEN RELATED but hearing the wrong the wrong words out of people's mouths. Like, they say "something" nd I hear "what a fuckin bitch" or I hear "that was in ur head" and I say "wtf did u just say?!" and they sa y "something"..................... one more thing is that I SOMETIMES INVOLUNTARILY repeat the same phrase over n over(in my head or outloud) . why. if u have ny insight into one or more of these things I woud like to hear about it.. thnx for reading ttyl