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    Having fun with my kids, day trips, nature walks, music, writing, astrology, sex, watching football & baseball, bargain hunting, making sense of the madness.

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  1. I sympathize with you. I had to hear a jackhammer outside my former apartment for the whole summer once, as there are only two seasons in New England- winter and road work hehe. Do earplugs work? Maybe get a rocking sound system with your type of music? Maybe pack your days with out of the house activities? I hope this situation is temporary and you can find some peace! (I hate NOISE too!!)
  2. Thank you for posting this. My hubby grimaces a lot, and I used to think he was mad at me. He hates when he can't do something, and minimizes the pain he feels. I have cried for him, and with him. Empathy does go a long way.
  3. That was an excellent read! Thank you! Today it seems so many poeple are selfish or too independent to take another's needs into consideration. A relationship forum I frequent reads just like those key points of the failure of a marriage.
  4. The only therapy that helped me was solution based through workbooks. DBT (green book on Amazon is great!), CBT (online at MoodGym or Ecouch), behavioral threapy and ACT therapy. I find that therapists just echoed my thoughts and words, and I wanted solutions, not a parrot. This is different for everyone, though, and there are therapists that are good, I'm sure. Just sharing what has worked for me.
  5. I stopped reading when you said you were married. If you are doing or saying anything to this other guy that you would NOT want your hubby to hear, you are having an emotional affair. Confide in your hubby instead.
  6. If someone has to be convinced of something, what's the point? I honestly don't know if there is a god or not, but I try my best to let people have their own opinions on the matter.
  7. Hi and welcome to the place where brain cooties aren't just preferred- they are required. Hope you enjoyn your stay!
  8. I feel bad for you. I would never think to check my college aged kids' homework. I would take out loans and scholorships to live at school, as my daughter has. It might be worth it in your situation.
  9. Thanks Stickler- I know you. You are cool too! Turns out I had been manic for awhile, and when pdoc put me on geoden last month, I only got worse. Although I thought I was fine! Shit, I can destroy anything or anyone without even realizing it. Scary shit. Be well all!
  10. I hate this disorder! It takes your sanity, your mind, and sometimes your life.
  11. Too much snow. No where to put it. Sick of snow. Very cold, think I live near Melissa cuz windchills are horrible. Nearly 90 inches of snow this winter (so far!) Not looking forward to breaking the record. I love the snow, just not so much of it!
  12. Parenting (at least for me) goes through these stages- love- guilt- worry, repeat until you die because your kids are always your kids. I think some kids are more resilient than others. Some people go through hell and come out, some stay there. Support, empathy, and love are what everyone wants and needs, kids and adults. Your post was vague, but that is my experience so I thought I would share.
  13. Thank you both for replying. It turns out I was in a mixed episode. On abilify now and everything is so much better. The day before all this happened I walked 3 miles home from Dunkin' Donuts in the middle of the street, that should have maybe clued me in! We got married because of health and financial reasons mostly. The sad thing is my mother talked to DH, don't know what he said (he says nothing bad, just that he didn't know how to handle me.) The next day she left six hand written pages of bible verses (not even related to marriage) on our kitchen table. She has BP, but denies it and is a born again Christian. I assume she thinks we are doomed and has told everyone in the family, just because that's what she does. This is what I deal with when I confide in her, but I guess I was outta my mind and am reaping what i sowed. This disorder is just horrible for everyone. I kinda wish I never met DH or had kids, as they are drawn into this hell. Then I feel so guilty for thinking like that- what mother would have such thoughts? It gets better, but then it always gets worse. I sometimes wish I had cancer instead, because then at least you either die or get better. (No offense to those dealing with cancer, just my personal thoughts at this time.) Mental illness is the only disease that denies itself, even in death. No proof you had it, no sure treatment, high suicide rate. I'm just so tired.
  14. Please don't move this to the relationship forum with the cobwebs. Please anyone, help me. In October I got married, after being with the same guy for 24 years. I am happy to be married, but I am manic right now. He used to know what to say, what to do, how to be compassionate. Now granted he is in constant pain awaiting surgery, he triggers me- but I love him so much. He is mean, and says I am mean. I can't trust my mind. We have both talked divorce, when we have never broken up for the 24 yrs prior. Never said "I am gonna leave you" never uttered a threat to hurt one another. He says I feel I have a pass because of my MI. But we go through this once or twice a year (my episodes) for 24 years, now he thinks I am manipulating him, faking it, or something. I take my meds, go to my pdoc, do self help workbooks, but he KNEW this is a degenerative disease that only gets worse. I made that cleasr many times. I am afraid he doesn't love me and resents me for my MI, not being able to work (recently took his FIRST ever stab at this saying that if maybe I had a job I could afford homemade chocolates for our sons.) Am I insane and overreacting? Could he be feeling he might die during his surgery (He's said this to me) and is pushing me away? Or am I really a wacko cunt, and if so, WHY would he marry me? I am lonely for the first time in 25 years, and now that I told my mom he swore at me and he talked to her, I feel everyone is against me.
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