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resonance

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  1. That sounds pretty obnoxious. I usually need to drink more water than I want to, but at least I still get some feeling of thirst. I've done the phone alarm thing in the past though. Salt can be bad for you but dehydration's pretty bad for you too. Maybe the tradeoff is something you could ask a doc about? (pdoc or gp) The only other suggestions I can think of are all about making water more entertaining to drink: - A tiny bit of lemon juice. Your mouth is slightly more acidic than water is and making water more acidic makes it taste better, IIRC. I've also gotten citric acid in little packets that I think advertised themselves as imitation lemon juice or something similar. - Mess with the temperature. Cold water, hot water, lukewarm water. - Carbonated water. (The cheap stuff, don't drive yourself broke with Perrier) My husband has a machine that makes carbonated water out of tap water and I use that, but you can also buy club soda (or whatever it's called where you live). - A small amount of lemonade or fake lemonade. I used to use the store-brand version of Crystal Light because Crystal Light tastes bitter to me for some reason. - Some people put slices of cucumber in their water although personally I prefer to keep my salad out of my drink (and my drink out of my salad). - Herbal tea.
  2. I did two in 2005 (one three weeks, one one week) and they were both helpful, mainly due to being able to make a lot of med changes and to having external regulation for my schedule. It would have really helped to be in for longer the second time but my insurance wouldn't pay because I wasn't suicidal, I was just too depressed to make food for myself and eat and stuff. The therapist and pdoc I saw while in the program were both pretty good. I wanted to keep them while I was out of the program but they didn't have room in their practices. Edit: The one I was in was partly PHP and partly semi(?)-inpatient - it included people who'd been inpatient and didn't need to be fully inpatient but who weren't ready to go home yet. So there was a range of functionality but most people were on the upper end. It was also a mood-disorders-specific program and most people were in there for depression with a few (not many) for bipolar. I felt kind of out of place demographically - almost everyone was older, I was 25 at the time and I think everyone was early thirties or older with a couple exceptions. I was the only person there in school, although I think some people had jobs that they were on leave from. I thought the music therapy was kind of lame, but they had sparkly gel paints in art therapy. I still have a painting I did. I also liked group therapy and getting to hear about other people's lives and problems.
  3. It really sounds like going back on lithium so you can get yourself to a safe situation as fast as possible might be the optimal thing to do. Not having emotions is disturbing, and it is not a good long-term strategy, but you are not in a safe place right now and it is going to be much easier to find good long-term strategies when you are. That said, if you think that it is best to ask your doctor about wellbutrin or cymbalta, one thing you could try is writing down what you're going to say ahead of time, and planning to read from it, so that if you start panicking you'll at least have clear instructions for what to say right in front of you. Other things might include dropping by when he's busy and leaving a written note for him at the front desk, or calling and leaving a voicemail after hours. You might still have follow up with him in person, but if you have some of the communicating already done it might make the rest easier. I will also say: don't give up on antipsychotics. I had bad experiences with the first three I tried, but the fourth was a godsend. If you can, put off worrying about your other issues in the attic until you can get out of there. You have enough to worry about right now.
  4. I wish I had something better to suggest to you, but: you mentioned that lithium made you more functional even though it took away your feelings. Is going back on it until you can get yourself to somewhere safer, with more treatment options, an option for you?
  5. I've had a lot of trouble with therapists as well - I was in a headspace for a long time where trying to address specific issues in therapy was a trigger itself. Not fun. Tryp mentioned the skills focus that DBT group therapy has, and I've found that much more helpful than talking about past events. In DBT the individual therapy is supposed to be more about helping you apply skills you learn in group to current events in your life, rather than a more traditional talk-therapy approach to talking about past events - not all therapists may do that to the same degree, though. I've seen two DBT therapists (my regular one is on maternity leave) and they had very different therapy styles - my current one is much more focused on concrete action and planning than my previous one was. (My previous DBT therapist was very receptive to my asking early on to focus on here-and-now issues, though.) You might have a different experience with a different DBT therapist (assuming there's one near you, which there may not be). You can look here: http://behavioraltec...sources/crd.cfm
  6. Ack! Are you me? I thought I was me. Ok, you seem like a more social and less anxious version of me, but, as you note, those are not the actual issue. Yes, I know what you are talking about. I can't go into my backstory at the moment (work crunch time and I am too exhausted to be social until it passes and I can rest some) but I will pm you and maybe we can set up a time to chat over IM. FWIW, I don't see a lot of people who are exactly this but I have found the following demographic combo useful in locating people with experiences similar to my own: autism spectrum, female, not diagnosed until adulthood (if at all) largely due to extensive effort put into consciously and deliberately teaching themselves social skills. The nerdiness 24/7 + social issues / how the world works thing isn't a shoo-in even then, but I think it's a consequence of a heavily systemizing approach to the world combined with a strong interest in social things, which people rarely take a systemizing approach to if at all. I don't know if those combo boxes fit your situation, although to be honest that would be my guess. There are people who see autism spectrum characteristics as primarily strengths rather than deficits. I'm not one of them for several different reasons, but I mention that because I don't want you to think I'm trying to sell you on a specifically deficit-based understanding of what might be going on for you. Also FWIW I found a partner during graduate school (behavioral sciences) and we are happily married as of last fall. It's hard for me to believe he could be the only guy like that out there, although I don't know how common it is. I have not run into anyone else like him, but I'm also not very socially outgoing.
  7. I did a 3-week partial hospitalization and later an 8-day partial hospitalization in 2005, both at the same place. It was really helpful, and I wish I could have stayed longer the second time (insurance cut me off because I wasn't suicidal). Some of it was very helpful (ability to make rapid med changes, having lunch provided). Some of it didn't do much for me, like music therapy. Some of it was fun but didn't seem all that relevant to mental health, like art therapy, although I have a painting I made that I still like a lot and eventually framed and put up. Some of it was a little obnoxious (the CBT class wasn't helpful to me, YMMV). But overall it was a good experience and I'm very glad that I went. I saw a psychiatrist there who was helpful and I liked seeing, and I saw a social worker for therapy. She was quite good and more focused on concrete solutions to problems than most other therapists I'd seen, which worked well for me.
  8. I was prescribed Lyrica (pregabalin) for migraines, and it didn't do anything for migraines but it made me sleep thoroughly and well (probably better than anything else I've taken). When I discontinued it I felt awful for a while (sleep messed up etc). I don't think they prescribe it for sleep, but it's the only thing I can think of that I haven't seen mentioned yet.
  9. I have/have had that happen as well. Sometimes about things that probably really don't matter, sometimes about things that do. It feels like being attacked by thoughts, and for a long time I would pick up a new thought pretty much every time I attended some kind of social event. Even when the thoughts reflected situations where I really had done something embarrassing/inappropriate, their frequency and emotional intensity and long-lastingness was way out of proportion. I also had similar problems with some non-social intrusive thoughts and when I brought those up with my psychiatrist he suggested they were an "OCD spectrum" issue (same kinds of mental processes, not disabling to the degree that OCD is). For both the social and non-social thoughts, exposure and response prevention has been *extremely* helpful. It still happens sometimes but it isn't anywhere near as bad and it goes away much more quickly. I found two self-help books particularly useful - The OCD Workbook by Bruce Hyman and Cherry Petrick (sp?) and another book by Bruce Hyman as well. I think they're both in the CrazyStore.
  10. The dialog box comes up, but it wouldn't let me continue from there (alerted me saying I had to choose a parent album, but there were no parent albums to choose). Luna made me one album, though, and then I was able to make my own using that as the parent album.
  11. When I go to gallery -> upload -> new album, it won't let me continue unless I select a parent album from a dropdown, but there are no entries in the dropdown. If I try gallery -> upload -> select album, it gives me a popup list of albums with no albums in it.
  12. The desire to want someone to notice is pretty understandable, I think. Especially when you have reasons to not want to tell people, but still know that social support could help. Learning what to communicate to whom and when and how can be really hard. I've found that there are some people to whom I can say I how I'm feeling, and they're able/willing to listen and acknowledge how I feel, and either commiserate or help me figure out strategies for dealing with with the problem, depending on what I'm able to handle at that moment. I think often people build those kinds of relationships over time and a bit at a time, by putting out a small part of what's going on and seeing how the other person responds to it. Or by coming to places where there are lots of people going through similar things. It's still hard. Someone who knows and understand you well might be able to pick up on how you're doing with fewer clues. Or they might not. With some people it really is better to hide things. But communicating to other people is kinda the only way that they'll know. Or at least not hiding it.
  13. That used to happen to me too although it doesn't anymore. It would last about half an hour. I have diary entries from when I was 10 or 11 describing it. They were more frequent when I was young and less frequent as I got older, like every 6 months or so. I remember thinking in high school that I wouldn't mind feeling as awful as I did nearly all the time if I had those experiences more frequently.
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