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Everything posted by mellifluous

  1. I'm back from traveling to see my father and feel like my head is jumbled. Everything went well, even my small girl on sixteen hours of plane each way. But we discussed my mum whilst there and I know I have shit to work through and I just don't know whether it's worthwhile in a way. Does her death affect me still? I was hospitalized last month and my small girl visited me there on my birthday. Am I part of a repeating cycle?
  2. In my experience therapy is for processing things, which resurfacing/reexamining can be as painful as the original event(s). Condolences on your loss. My best friend died similarly over seven years ago and I still find myself overcome with grief at times. It will likely take you significant time to process his death and his life and how you feel about everything. Try to be patient with yourself. xx
  3. Agree with zyprexa, suggest dissolvables as less likely to produce weight gain. Also agree with haldol suggestion. I've had numerous haldol injections for acute episodes and they mix it with cogentin and maybe Ativan, those shots have cut my hospital length of stays in half. But that's if you really need to get a handle on something maybe.
  4. Aghast at the American government. So discouraged by basically everything but especially this detention ICE situation. It is and has long been outrageous and horrifying what's happening.
  5. I would ask about taking 5 or even the 2.5 mg ones (unknown if you're using the dissolvables, but I think the lowest they go is five). Seriously, if you typically are super sensitive to meds, I think you need an adjustment ASAP. Im not super sensitive to antipsychotics and even I titrate up. What steos can you take to get some more immediate relief? I would call the nurse again. And over and over.
  6. Only read your opening post but what're you trying to treat? I habe schizophrenua so you may be different, but I notice you don't have any typicals/first generation antipsychotics on your list. They are more likely to cause movement issues and I always take them with either propranolol, cogentin, or artane, but if you don't want to go the clozapine route, I have had much success with loxipine, navane, stelazine, haldol depot, and prolixin depot at various points in my life. Thorazine even worked for a while before I maxed out on it. Best of luck with whatever route you choose. PS I'm currently on clozaril and zyprexa. Among other things.
  7. I can't speak to mania as I have schizophrenia and not an affective disorder, but I agree with iceberg that's a higher dose to start than I would've expected for someone with no history of taking zyprexa. Apart from side effects, is it helping your mania? i would be in touch with psychiatrist or psych nurse and let someone know. It may be too much too fast and you'd eventually find the side effects subside, but it sounds to me like you need a dosage adjustment. Are you taking it at night to minimize daytime sluggishness?
  8. I have some anxiety about IOP. I have to speak with the psychiatrist to get my meds refilled as they only gave me a fourteen day supply at discharge from IP and that means I'll run out Friday. The IOP psychiatrist is hard to get a read on. She has no facial expressions.
  9. I got pregnant naturally at forty (but of a surprise actually) and gave birth to a healthy small girl at forty (then turned forty-one a couple of months later) i have read that there's a hereditary component and if women in your family conceive and successfully deliver late in life, you are more likely to be able. This is very true in my family.
  10. Yes, I have. Did you check the links in that blog entry? I need to look over it some more and I'm talking with my psychiatrist on Wednesday to get his input. I want to do more digging before I post that but there definitely appears to be more women with mood disorders getting ppp, but I'm unsure the risk of ppp for the average women with a mood disorder I hope that made sense I'm just now waking up so tell me if it didn't If you a source you could share I'd love to look it over and include it. Cheers!
  11. yes to all of this! exactly....exactly the problem... i fear them and they fear me and i fear for them and they fear for me...but nobody can just have a conversation instead of being overwhelmed... my small girl is awake, but i wanted to read and comment quickly. talk soon xx
  12. I take clozaril now and I would definitely get some sound medical advice before switching to it with the intention of getting pregnant.
  13. I write a blog entry on postpartum disorders and found information on postpartum ptsd. It's some that affects 9% of women so you're totally not alone. Here's the entry: I hope it helps xx
  14. Nervous. Lots of anxiety about seeing in laws so soon after a hospitalization. It's only 8:00 AM so abut early to start the PRNs but my morning Ativan isn't chipping away at this at all.
  15. I hope residential goes well, aura im going up to Marin to see in laws. They're aware of my most recent hospitalization and I hope they don't bring it up. Dare to dream. V anxious.
  16. i also don't work, but i have a small girl and suspect people think i'm a stay-at-home mum. really i've been deemed "permanently and completely disabled" by schizophrenia. i think the reason it matters to me to at least try and have some....if not friendships, then at least casual friendly acquaintances, is that i don't want my child to be the kid whose mum is bonkers. or somehow be left out because i can't seem to get on with non-MI mums, if that makes sense...?
  17. how's that working for others? i'm getting to this point where people who don't have mental illness maybe aren't sustainable actual friends for me. the thing is, though, my partner ...i've been with him for almost fifteen years (will be fifteen years in july, married for eleven)...has no diagnoses. and not like he's undiagnosed but has MI...he's got a little social anxiety, but nothing diagnosable. he doesn't "get it" in the way that some of those posting in the SZ section or commenting on my blog entries get it...but he's not perpetuating stigma against mental illness either and he's super supportive. i don't know if it's because i'm getting older and less able (or have less patience) to put up with people who really don't get it or if it's that i have so little time for friendships now that i have a small girl that i can't put the effort in to explaining why telling me "when i get sick of taking pills that cause suicidal thinking" is fucking idiotic and super irresponsible. i have so few friends left, thanks to this ailment of mine, that i don't want my in-the-flesh support to dwindle further, but i'm having a hard time seeing how being friends with people who aren't mentally ill is even possible. can anyone relate? x
  18. i think that's available but i've not done it. thank you so much for the well wishes! i wish you the best, too! x
  19. what's wild is that i usually can't (i have schizophrenia), but i think the strength of the zyprexa-clozaril combo is making it possible. my most recent inpatient psychiatrist put me on prozac (switched me off zoloft) only because i'm not a good candidate for chlomipramine. i might be misspelling that...but i've read that it's the best one for OCD, but its side effect profile leaves something to be desired, so it might not be a good choice for you either.
  20. goodness, sorry your practitioner endured that and had to cancel. glad to hear you can make it until monday and i hope they find something useful to try. x
  21. wow! i'm sorry to hear that 20 mg has had such a detrimental effect on you! can you talk to a psych nurse today?
  22. ah, i see. i also see your meds listed in your signature...sorry i didn't notice that before. x it makes sense that we simply don't know why and work with it anyway. thank you for your kindness.
  23. that makes sense. have you taken prozac for OCD before, jt? never said it was a "big deal" just confirming that's the case and wondering if anyone knows why. i feel like whenever you've replied to a post of mine you are purposefully hostile. there's no need for that.
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