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Lurkie

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  • Content Count

    12
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About Lurkie

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    Random Crazyass

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  • Location
    USA
  • Interests
    life, death, and pie
  1. LOL, I want the Fukitol thing as my wallpaper now...
  2. Hi chUCKIT, thanks for the reply. Yeah, I guess I am blaming my mom for this one. But, I really feel like it's on her for triggering me like that! What am I supposed to do with those feelings? I can't just eat them and pretend they're not there. Is it wrong to feel this way? No, there really aren't any other relatives I can live with. My mother is my only relative in North America. Well, technically, my father is in the Carribean, but living with him would be much worse. He would actually start hitting me, as opposed to just getting in my face and threatening me. I just feel really du
  3. ***THIS MAY TRIGGER YOU. IT SURE TRIGGERED ME!*** Well, my mother flipped out on me last night. We were having a minor argument, and then she just completely lost it. She started screaming at the top of her lungs and getting into my face. She was cussing me out and just throwing insults. Then she went on and shoved me and jabbed at me repeatedly. At one point, she was about two inches from my face, and she opened up her mouth with her tounge out like she was gonna bite me. Completely invading my personal space, pulling me around by my shoulders. Then, when she raised a hand, I thought she w
  4. Thanks again, guys. This is all good advice. I'm glad that people out there relate to me. I'm still worried about what's causing this, though. I know you guys aren't cerified to give medical advice, but I'd just like some opinions here. Do you think this is a symptom directly linked to Bipolar I, such as the delusions present in a manic or mixed phase, or do you think that it's a seperate mental illness, such as OCD or paranoid schizophrenia?
  5. Thanks for the detailed reply, stonering! Well, I feel like I should mention that my symptoms get less severe when I'm busy or distracted, though I guess that applies to all sorts of illness. I do think about this stuff a lot, though, so I guess it is a serious problem. Oh no, you've discovered my firewood plot! Now my plan is foiled j/k Yes, I see a psychologist and a psychiatrist, but not on a very regular basis. I'm supposed to see them both next month, I think. I guess I should talk to them about it. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who hears stuff at night. It's
  6. Thanks for the support, H. I guess you're right, they have seen it all, and I bet my psych doc has seen people a lot crazier than me. Still, I wonder how my other docs will react: the ones that treat my physical illness. I couldn't stand to be called a hypochrondriac or a somatizer when I know for certain that my physical pain is real, just like I know that my paraniod thoughts are false. I still don'y get what this is, anyway.
  7. I'm kind of scared to talk about this. Aright, so, I've been diagnosed with BP I. Years ago, I had a very severe manic episode with heavy delusions. I've never talk about it, and I haven't told any docs. It's hard to desribe, but I basically developed a messiah complex and thought I had achieved enlightenment, perhaps as a reincarnation of the Buddha. Luckily, it only lasted about half a day, then I just returned to hypomania and was pretty much okay. For the past few weeks, I've been manic. I did hallucinate slightly during my week in the psych ward last month, but the psych. doc said it
  8. Hi there. I've been experiencing the same symptoms as you. Actually, I was supposed to go to the gyn earlier today, but they cancelled because they had to go deliver a baby Anyway, up to this point, I've assumed that mine are a side effect of my chronic illness, interstitial cystitis. Interstitial cystitis is the chronic inflammation of the bladder wall, in the abscence of infection. I'm starting to wonder if it's something else, though, as it seems that my periods get more severe each time. About half the time, I end up vomiting. I have pretty much all the same symptoms as you. Do you, by
  9. Hi guys, I'm going to bitch and whine now! Ironically enough, that's what got me into this mess in the first place. Last year, I had friends. This year, I don't; and I know a big chunk of it is my fault. BACKSTORY: There has been a lot of shit going on in my life lately. I was put in a mental ward for about a week just at the end of last month. My biological father is making threats to come back to America to "handle matters himself", since he's apparently not comfortable with how my mother is doing. He claims not to be drinking or using using using substances anymore, but that's probably
  10. Hi guys, I'm going to bitch and whine now! Ironically enough, that's what got me into this mess in the first place. Last year, I had friends. This year, I don't; and I know a big chunk of it is my fault. There has been a lot of shit going on in my life lately. I was put in a mental ward for about a week just at the end of last month. My biological father is making threats to come back to America to "handle matters himself", since he's apparently not comfortable with how my mother is doing. He claims not to be drinking or using using using substances anymore, but that's probably bullshit. M
  11. WARNING: This is gonna be a long story. You might wanna bust out the pillows and the sleeping bag. Or, if you're a mod, you might think that this post is TOO long for the "Just who the hell are you anyway? - Introductions" forum. Sorry, but I guess i havn't lurked hard enough to know all the rules. Move me if you like, I'm cool with it. Hey guys, I just got outta the loony bin! Don't worry, I didn't bust out, they actually let me! Anyway, I've been lurking around here for a while, as well as on other crazy message boards, and I've elected this one to be my Bipolar One support group, becau
  12. I hope this won't trigger anyone, but I'm curious about what age everyone began cutting. I began self-mutilating when I was six. I used to systematically grow my nails out, sharpen them through biting, and then slash at my wee little belly. My bellybutton used to be scarred from it. I didn't start using tools until I was about 12, when I cut my neck. It was such a pathetically small cut too, far from the "short sweet suicide" I had planned. It didn't even bleed. Ah, the angsty pre-teen life. Well, it's been 10 years since I started, and I'm still cutting. It's all very sporadic: sometimes
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