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About rosarx

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    Crazy Cat Lady - urban version

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  • Location
    atlanta, ga
  • Interests
    Computers, crochet, philosophy, and politics
  1. been told it's got a name: avolition Most of what is out there mentions it as a symptom of schizophrenia but its also a possible symptom of Bipolar and depression and can exist outside depression. While knowing that has not helped me bathe it has let me put a name on it and be more gentle to myself as well as look up what might work.
  2. Was not really sure where to post this. That is part of the problem. I dont feel sure about anything anymore. Over the years I have had so many diagnosis that it really is just crazy. Just crazy? Maybe that is the answer. Since I was a teenerger I have felt that I feel to much emotionally, that other people dont feel things with the intensity that I do. Memeories are often as vivid as being there or hearing there. I find myself feeling others emotions. I get wrapped up in where they are. Ive stopped trying to explain that because it just leads to a quick jump to conclusion and
  3. Ive kept myself away from this somehow for a few years but I have become a baloon. There is a lot of stress. I broke my pelvis in a hard fall. So sick of myself I am doing 'good' to top 500/day. Really dont feel that is good... you know. It does not feel at all natural to eat or drink calories when I am such a disgusting lard ass. Its got ahold me in a raging way. wheelchair equaled rapid weight gain and i was not doing so well to start with. im fat or lean. i cant get inbetween because I either pig out all the time and pack it on or I dont eat hardly anything and strip it off. Problem is
  4. Right now I am totally sick of myself. The only thing i like is my hair and nails. trying to convince myself to eat something but the idea how i look makes me feel ill at the thought. and i feel like - at THIS size why fight it anyway?
  5. I went down on my Invega from 6mgs to 3mgs about 8 days ago. The first three days went fine. I had been having lack of interest in everything and my interest started coming back but then I was hit with this heavy very physical feeling tiredness. For a couple days my hear kept skipping beats. I get out of breath and my heart stared racing just cleaning up a room and hunting for something. I'm wondering if this is going to go away. I know its not anxiety or depression. It doesn't feel like that. Mentally I'm not depressed or anxious and feel better than I have on this drug - its just physical. I
  6. It is very hard for me to know, even now, that something is wrong with me in terms of delusions. I recognize the hallucinations most of the time but the delusions seem to go right past me. I don't know why. I was diagnosed at 15 but did not believe the diagnosis until well into my 30's. I believed they had put me in the state hospital because of my politics and it did not help that they did make this a big focus and try to change what I believed. I believed that the medications were for mind control. It took the love and patience of a very special friend to get me to finally try to be me
  7. its not about depression but: Psychiatrist to his nurse: Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying it's a madhouse. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?
  8. I start doing this a lot when I get depressed. I have a close friend online and I will get very upset if he doesn't answer me on aim or facebook or write me back on email the same day even though I know he is extremely busy. This also really makes me isolate myself from people and make things worse. I stop relating to people because I start feeling no one likes me or wants to put up with me. I also get concerns about people talking about me or laughing behind my back. It was a major problem when I was working because it would make rifts between me and my co-workers. I've always attribute
  9. Two blondes were in a bar watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge that was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said Betty. "Bet you $10 he won't," replied Amber. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second blonde hands the first her money. "I can't take your money," said Betty. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said Amber. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
  10. I had a strange experience like that when I was camping in the park with Occupy. This man came up to me and started talking to me. The first thing he said was "i know your diagnosis - your schizophrenic' and then he told me how he knew. He said it was because I was figiting with my hands and holding my jaw so tightly. He said that the medication did that to him, too.
  11. My ex and I would argue because of this. The yes and no questions - I would feel like I needed to explain more because yes or no seemed misleading to me. I've had others complain about it too. Essay questions always gave me a hard time. Everything will seem so related that I cant sort out what needs to be said. I dont know if that is the same thing but maybe?
  12. I stopped having my period on Haldol when I was a teenager. It was crazy because my mom thought I was pregnant and all hell broke out.
  13. yup. yup. that's about right. I kept looking for my mom and my 400 pound step-sister in stretch pants.
  14. oh gawd I would so post that on my son's fb if he would not kill me lol
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