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HAL9000

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About HAL9000

  • Rank
    Whats wrong with me?

Profile Information

  • Gender
    male
  • Location
    In the infamous Hipster HQ - Minneapolis (burbs), Minnesota
  • Interests
    Computer Science, Making original Music, Solutions to health issues. My RX8 Midlife Crisis mobile.

Recent Profile Visitors

4,899 profile views
  1. I try to be patient and not flip out if someone stabs me then has to retry but I had this nurse going on her fourth try and I said "HEY 3 strikes and your out. Like out of here." like that worked... She got it on the 5th try. When I go in and see someone I don't know doing blood draws I flick my veins myself. If the nurse asks "What are you doing?" I cringe. This might be the old school way to do it but it does work.
  2. I have kind of a start date to where I was curled up on the kitchen floor sobbing with my kids puppy trying to chill me out so I don't have the problem of thinking MI is just some made up thing. Sometimes I wonder about the meds and think (Stupidly) I feel fine now. Maybe this pill isn't REALLY doing anything? They I don't take it. A non MI drug for OAB (Over active Bladder) I talked to my Urologist about it causing some nasty side effects and she said I could try not taking it but to jot down how often I was running back and for to pee. 6 to 8 is pretty normal. When I got to 12 I had that "Ahhhh... So taking this really DOES do something!?" Benzos for me are strange (Or they have the dose exactly right) when I have an anxiety attack and take a valium I feel "normal" or to be more specific I don't feel like I'm having an anxiety attack. I think our doctors try for this effect and when they do a good job? I dunno... Thats my experience.
  3. I'm a bad person to ask about Lyrica. I'm one of the 0.004 % that totally loose their minds on that drug. Like suddenly not knowing how to operate my car (While driving) I managed to get it stopped (But running) got out, leaving the door open. Walked into work and called the doctor who almost had a stroke listening to my reaction to the drug. Anyway its one I would be wary of but thats just the 0.004 of us that can't take it.
  4. Hi Smurf. Long time no see. I decided to unfreeze myself and check out old friends to see how they are doing? The light box thing seems to help me a bit with depression. That or I guess the Vit D which I seem to lack.
  5. I'm unthawed from being off the computer for ?? years. Anyway I wanted to look up old friends and say hi. Great news on the pdoc. Hope you found a keeper! Also congrats on getting married! Wow! thats pretty cool. Just realizing I'm replying to a year old post. Anyway hope you are doing well.
  6. I haven't been on CB in a long time but the insomnia problem is one that has been on my radar thanks to the shifting formulary of my health plan. I would steer away from benzos of you take them on a nightly basis. They just have too much baggage for addiction and tolerance and many are so short acting you can't expect sleep to last very long. Its probably unusual to say this because there have been some negative vibes going on about taking the Z drugs for any length of time but I had been taking Ambien Cr for the last couple of years and had little to no problems as it helps me get to sleep and sleep for a decent length of time. I've had to go to a different drug and have been trying different doses of the generic for Lunesta. I find a couple of things different. For one I often dream at night and can remember some of them. Which I feel is a plus! With Ambien and prior to ambien having any memory of dreams was near zero. In addition Lunesta seems to act quickly. Its not like Ambien with a gradual feeling sleepy then sleepier its more sudden. Bang I'm asleep. I had rare instances of me talking in my sleep on Ambien (Nothing weird like driving cars, sex etc) but so far nothing like that with Lunesta. The dose that works for me (Like everything it seems) is the stronger dose. Lower doses do help me go to sleep but at the lowest dose (1mg) I was asleep for 3 hours. At 2mg maybe 5 hours. At 3mg I get around 7 hours of sleep. One last comment. I was told its a very dangerous combination to take benzos at the same time as a Z drug. So if you do have Ambien or Lunesta prescribed you want to have 8 hours between that and taking benzos such as Xanax, Valium etc. I guess the combo can in some instances stop you from breathing. Good luck! Sorry you have insomnia. Its a bitch.
  7. My favorite dog(s) were Samoyds. I had an insulated Dog House which went unused. Although she did block the front for a non arctic dog that would run into it if I left them out anymore then a few minutes.
  8. This is probably over simplification but I think a significant number of people don't believe in Evil. People with MI does not = Evil people. Are some both? Of course but some guy who is cheating on his wife and murders her could be "rational" correct? Its not right. Its wrong. Its Evil shit. MI as a blanket excuse for every bad thing people do is just wrong. How many people with MI do we know that couldn't hurt a fly? I think the sanity defense is simply someones inability to know right from wrong? Is it mental illness to think self castration and killing yourself is evil? Mental Illness? or just stupidity? I think you could make a case for any or all of the above. MI btw is often getting mixed up with being stupid which I think is a very poor assumption. A lot of people who are very smart drive themselves a bit over the edge. I'm sure you can all think of examples.
  9. If they aren't arctic type (like Samoyds or Huskey) I wonder why the owners aren't jailed. If they really are arctic dogs that have developed winter fur? Thats different.
  10. I've been on it for a fair length of time. No side effects to report. It seems to help raise the floor where depression goes from me being functional to being a mess. LIke it just doesn't let it reach the danger zone. I've lost and gained weight but I think thats more from Anxiety problems.
  11. Tried the sleep hygene thing and the laptop IS a problem. I have Ambien CR back on the formulary but GDoc is (I think) waiting for my yearly physical to talk meds? Anyway I've been using the Valium which I would rather save for Anxiety overloads.
  12. I really shouldn't comment too much about selection of meds and such since I'm not even close to knowing what I'm talking about. I do take a combo and without all three I think I would be fairly screwed up. Chronic pain stuff (I think) is a good reason to see a doctor that is focused on just that. And "fuzzy thinking" is a term that frankly scares me. Mine was bad. Like REALLY REALLY bad. To the point that I had to just stop my car and get out and walk because I couldn't remember (Don't laugh too hard) how to stop it. Like which foot does what so I ended up punching it and slamming on the brakes which is great if your a teenager trying to do a burn out but.. All I wanted to do was not run over someone. The pain thing for me took some surgery after a number of well thought out tries with various injections etc. For mental health I had to be put on a couple different things to find ones that worked together and took care of two things. Three pills for one problem. The waiting for the anti depressants to kick in really was the most difficult part for me. It "seemed" like it had to get to the point where I was sure they weren't going to ever work and then... They just did but its never a magic BLAMO your not depressed. Its more of a "Hummm... Today seems to be going ok. Whats going on?" Oh yeah these pills I've been taking for 5 weeks. Maybe thats it? Subtle stuff... The anxiety stuff which is so much more in my face and really messing up my day seems those drugs start working really fast. Benzos (For my whenever everything else isn't working) take maybe 10 15 minutes and I can feel that change. Buspar which I guess is really hit or miss from what others say is more like the subtle makes me functional drug so I guess I'm one of the lucky ones that it has some effect on.
  13. I had the worst reaction to lyrica for pain. It just totally screwed up my thinking so I was having difficulty operating my car. I had trouble understanding people and anyway... I'm the small percentage who the drug is really REALLY bad for. I take Wellbutrin myself and I had to go to the highest dose for it to work. I think there are three things. Try a drug. Give it 6 weeks to kick in and if its not working increase the dose. If you top out at the maximum dose and its not working try another drug. Adding a drug to one that doesn't work makes no sense to me but... I didn't got to medical school so what I say is just personal experience. The waiting 6 weeks thing was the hardest part. The finding a drug that worked for depression but had too many side effects and having to switch sucked. However... The end result is (I think) worth it. If a drug works I think going off it should be done only under careful examination of the effect. My impression is a lot of people feel better on some medication then just stop because they are "ok" *I don't know what that had to do with anything. Just something on my mind.
  14. I have my GDoc do the meds. She is very scientific about it and follows up so I feel better since she knows me. The PDoc she had me see to double check everything didn't do therapy and thought she was doing an excellent job except one time when he and I agreed Valium was a better choice then Xanax. He said the short acting strong affect made it a popular drug to abuse and that depending on it was less likely since it didn't last very long. I guess just saying he felt it was the "worst" says enough. Anyway I saw a PDoc before him and she got really uptight about me assuming she did therapy. She was just there to write prescriptions. So you walk in and have a DX - her job was to be the pill o matic. I "fired" her. *She was kinda nasty and who needs that regardless of what type of doctor you see?
  15. Hi Seal. Its good to see you since chat was shut off I never "talk" and I miss it. If your depression is bad (Yours sounds very bad) I would run (Not walk) to my GDoc and make it a plan to find something to deal with it that I could take daily. My depression got bad enough that I wasn't functional. Everything everyday was just a suckfest or shit. I've only tried two antidepressants and both eventually did work. I say eventually because it took many weeks for them to kick in. I wouldn't think taking on for a couple days would have any effect? Anyhow when they have kicked in I can still feel blue or upset but I think the meds keep me from flooring out. I think we talked about this in chat? Anyway I'm not sure I have anything of value to say on the gender issue other then this. If its important (Which I'm guessing it must be) and you don't address it you have a weight to carry along with the depression. Or could the two be connected? I don't know anything but just me thinking out loud. I have a friend who said she had problems with it like this. She got married (Born Male) it felt totally wrong (Divorced) so she assumed she was gay and tried to live that way and that wasn't any better. Someone had to suggest what the core issue was and anyway she did therapy and hormones and surgery and the last time we talked she was married to "mr wonderful" and things went "right" for her. I don't know if she was every taking antidepressants but by how miserable she felt I think a good case could have been made for to talk to an expert and see what that could do. I hope you find some peace and feel better. *Have a fish!
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