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Everything posted by HAL9000

  1. I haven't been on this board for a long time so I probably shouldn't just jump in the middle. Anyway thanks for letting me jump in because its on my mind right now. The Docs are telling me "Its all in your head" and had the bizzare incident of more then one doctor telling me to take my Diazapam/Valium more. How often does that happen? Never to me. It seems more like people asking me do I really need them at all and maybe I should not use them... I think the real problem right now is I get serious anxiety when I start thinking I know whats physically wrong and its obvious but they just don't get it. And I'm getting to the point where I just am sick of talking to a wall. Oh yeah I've been around I'm aware of the daily benzo prescriptions a lot of people are prescribed a daily dose. And if their problem can only be solved by that? Who am I to say? Long lasting Benzos I've never used. I know someone told me they had made Xanax last longer which seems like a good idea. Anyway don't take what I say very serious. I'm not trained or anything and would say whatever the doctor says. Personally like with Xanax I worry a little bit about it being a problem. Actually it was a problem because the crap scared me so much I didn't take anything and thats no fun at all. I have a doctor who is strict on Benzos and some of the other controlled stuff. She does the whole no notice bring in your pills thing and random screenings. I might be the only patient where she did the call for a pill check (The first time) and I was so anal about my Anxiety I had a run down of what was going on for every pill I took. She was counting out the pills while I went over dates and she just stopped and said something to the effect of some people have an addictive personality and then there is me. Guess I'm weirder then the typical nut she takes care of. Anyway it doesn't stop her from doing random checks and always telling me to take as few as possible.
  2. The anxiety level is way up with me but I think its more physical health related stuff more then Corona Virus stuff. I'm no fool I know a pandemic is bad news but I just keep doing what I'm doing and try to keep out of crowds, keep my fingers off my face. I already wash my hands and haven't done much more of that. Interesting drug. I was on Xanax PRN but the stuff really scared the hell out of me. The effect (while strong) was a little too good and very short lasting in my case. I asked about switching to something in the opposite direction and the PDoc I went to asked me what I had in mind and I said Valium. Its effect for me was not the Xanax POW!!! YOU FEEL GOOD GOOD GREAT!!!!........OK thats done now your freaking out. Valium is more of a hummmm I feel pretty normal. My anxiety seems gone. Yeah I think so... where did it go? Hummm.... stupid valium it doesn't do anything or does it? Why I think it does! The next time I saw the PDoc he said thats exactly the effect he wanted to hear and one reason he personally didn't like prescribing Xanax except in specific cases. It tends to make you feel TOO good then dumps you way too quickly. This effect (He thought) was why it was easier to get addicted or at least more dependant on Xanax. Not that people can't get screwed up with Valium. Finding the dose that eliminates an anxiety attack without you getting euphoric is the real trick to prescribing I think. What I hate is that I always seem to get little to no effect from low dose anything. What is it that breaks down a drug that can be so overactive that low doses just don't do anything? Your Liver?? As to asking for a PRN dose to go up I would not be shy and I would not put it off. If its not working be up front and just tell her/him that its not doing what you need and ask for a change. It might just be the wrong drug not the dose. One thing I think (personally) I would try to avoid is just taking it daily at the same time to avoid anxiety. Its taking it that way that seems (again just my opinion) to get people into trouble. Some drugs just don't work as good if your using them too often and Benzos have a really bad reputation which I think is more due to that then the drug. PRN stuff is the best way to take them. I should add this is all the advise of a patient so this is just 2 cents worth. I did have a good friend who really screwed himself up with Xanax btw so some of that might be coming across so if Xanax really works for you just ahhhhhh forget about what I said.
  3. A friend who might be one of the earliest telecomuters was getting nothing done and wearing a bathrobe all day. So... He sets the clock at a normal time for work. Showers and puts on a shirt and tie (I never saw him with a tie ever!) Then he puts his lunch in a briefcase and walks down the street for (I don't know how far) comes around and goes to his garage which now has a desk and a phone plus his work stuff. He tells his wife and kids that they aren't allowed to bug him (Other then emergencies) and to just act like he is gone to work. So..... He tells me he starts working hard because he doesn't know what the rest of us are doing and he starts producing the best work he ever did. And the work load of like 3 people!!! After a while he doesn't need to do the shirt tie and briefcase thing but he said he had to wire his brain that being at home wasn't being at home when he was working. BTW this pisses off people at work because he is making them look like lazy slobs and they conspire to get rid of him. No one should be allowed to work at home! What jerks.....
  4. I just wanted to say this message explains a lot. I would never have considered that a dose a tad too high would induce sleep. Anyway here is where you can get some info from people who actually take the meds.
  5. I try to be patient and not flip out if someone stabs me then has to retry but I had this nurse going on her fourth try and I said "HEY 3 strikes and your out. Like out of here." like that worked... She got it on the 5th try. When I go in and see someone I don't know doing blood draws I flick my veins myself. If the nurse asks "What are you doing?" I cringe. This might be the old school way to do it but it does work.
  6. I have kind of a start date to where I was curled up on the kitchen floor sobbing with my kids puppy trying to chill me out so I don't have the problem of thinking MI is just some made up thing. Sometimes I wonder about the meds and think (Stupidly) I feel fine now. Maybe this pill isn't REALLY doing anything? They I don't take it. A non MI drug for OAB (Over active Bladder) I talked to my Urologist about it causing some nasty side effects and she said I could try not taking it but to jot down how often I was running back and for to pee. 6 to 8 is pretty normal. When I got to 12 I had that "Ahhhh... So taking this really DOES do something!?" Benzos for me are strange (Or they have the dose exactly right) when I have an anxiety attack and take a valium I feel "normal" or to be more specific I don't feel like I'm having an anxiety attack. I think our doctors try for this effect and when they do a good job? I dunno... Thats my experience.
  7. I'm a bad person to ask about Lyrica. I'm one of the 0.004 % that totally loose their minds on that drug. Like suddenly not knowing how to operate my car (While driving) I managed to get it stopped (But running) got out, leaving the door open. Walked into work and called the doctor who almost had a stroke listening to my reaction to the drug. Anyway its one I would be wary of but thats just the 0.004 of us that can't take it.
  8. Hi Smurf. Long time no see. I decided to unfreeze myself and check out old friends to see how they are doing? The light box thing seems to help me a bit with depression. That or I guess the Vit D which I seem to lack.
  9. I'm unthawed from being off the computer for ?? years. Anyway I wanted to look up old friends and say hi. Great news on the pdoc. Hope you found a keeper! Also congrats on getting married! Wow! thats pretty cool. Just realizing I'm replying to a year old post. Anyway hope you are doing well.
  10. I haven't been on CB in a long time but the insomnia problem is one that has been on my radar thanks to the shifting formulary of my health plan. I would steer away from benzos of you take them on a nightly basis. They just have too much baggage for addiction and tolerance and many are so short acting you can't expect sleep to last very long. Its probably unusual to say this because there have been some negative vibes going on about taking the Z drugs for any length of time but I had been taking Ambien Cr for the last couple of years and had little to no problems as it helps me get to sleep and sleep for a decent length of time. I've had to go to a different drug and have been trying different doses of the generic for Lunesta. I find a couple of things different. For one I often dream at night and can remember some of them. Which I feel is a plus! With Ambien and prior to ambien having any memory of dreams was near zero. In addition Lunesta seems to act quickly. Its not like Ambien with a gradual feeling sleepy then sleepier its more sudden. Bang I'm asleep. I had rare instances of me talking in my sleep on Ambien (Nothing weird like driving cars, sex etc) but so far nothing like that with Lunesta. The dose that works for me (Like everything it seems) is the stronger dose. Lower doses do help me go to sleep but at the lowest dose (1mg) I was asleep for 3 hours. At 2mg maybe 5 hours. At 3mg I get around 7 hours of sleep. One last comment. I was told its a very dangerous combination to take benzos at the same time as a Z drug. So if you do have Ambien or Lunesta prescribed you want to have 8 hours between that and taking benzos such as Xanax, Valium etc. I guess the combo can in some instances stop you from breathing. Good luck! Sorry you have insomnia. Its a bitch.
  11. My favorite dog(s) were Samoyds. I had an insulated Dog House which went unused. Although she did block the front for a non arctic dog that would run into it if I left them out anymore then a few minutes.
  12. This is probably over simplification but I think a significant number of people don't believe in Evil. People with MI does not = Evil people. Are some both? Of course but some guy who is cheating on his wife and murders her could be "rational" correct? Its not right. Its wrong. Its Evil shit. MI as a blanket excuse for every bad thing people do is just wrong. How many people with MI do we know that couldn't hurt a fly? I think the sanity defense is simply someones inability to know right from wrong? Is it mental illness to think self castration and killing yourself is evil? Mental Illness? or just stupidity? I think you could make a case for any or all of the above. MI btw is often getting mixed up with being stupid which I think is a very poor assumption. A lot of people who are very smart drive themselves a bit over the edge. I'm sure you can all think of examples.
  13. If they aren't arctic type (like Samoyds or Huskey) I wonder why the owners aren't jailed. If they really are arctic dogs that have developed winter fur? Thats different.
  14. I've been on it for a fair length of time. No side effects to report. It seems to help raise the floor where depression goes from me being functional to being a mess. LIke it just doesn't let it reach the danger zone. I've lost and gained weight but I think thats more from Anxiety problems.
  15. Tried the sleep hygene thing and the laptop IS a problem. I have Ambien CR back on the formulary but GDoc is (I think) waiting for my yearly physical to talk meds? Anyway I've been using the Valium which I would rather save for Anxiety overloads.
  16. I really shouldn't comment too much about selection of meds and such since I'm not even close to knowing what I'm talking about. I do take a combo and without all three I think I would be fairly screwed up. Chronic pain stuff (I think) is a good reason to see a doctor that is focused on just that. And "fuzzy thinking" is a term that frankly scares me. Mine was bad. Like REALLY REALLY bad. To the point that I had to just stop my car and get out and walk because I couldn't remember (Don't laugh too hard) how to stop it. Like which foot does what so I ended up punching it and slamming on the brakes which is great if your a teenager trying to do a burn out but.. All I wanted to do was not run over someone. The pain thing for me took some surgery after a number of well thought out tries with various injections etc. For mental health I had to be put on a couple different things to find ones that worked together and took care of two things. Three pills for one problem. The waiting for the anti depressants to kick in really was the most difficult part for me. It "seemed" like it had to get to the point where I was sure they weren't going to ever work and then... They just did but its never a magic BLAMO your not depressed. Its more of a "Hummm... Today seems to be going ok. Whats going on?" Oh yeah these pills I've been taking for 5 weeks. Maybe thats it? Subtle stuff... The anxiety stuff which is so much more in my face and really messing up my day seems those drugs start working really fast. Benzos (For my whenever everything else isn't working) take maybe 10 15 minutes and I can feel that change. Buspar which I guess is really hit or miss from what others say is more like the subtle makes me functional drug so I guess I'm one of the lucky ones that it has some effect on.
  17. I had the worst reaction to lyrica for pain. It just totally screwed up my thinking so I was having difficulty operating my car. I had trouble understanding people and anyway... I'm the small percentage who the drug is really REALLY bad for. I take Wellbutrin myself and I had to go to the highest dose for it to work. I think there are three things. Try a drug. Give it 6 weeks to kick in and if its not working increase the dose. If you top out at the maximum dose and its not working try another drug. Adding a drug to one that doesn't work makes no sense to me but... I didn't got to medical school so what I say is just personal experience. The waiting 6 weeks thing was the hardest part. The finding a drug that worked for depression but had too many side effects and having to switch sucked. However... The end result is (I think) worth it. If a drug works I think going off it should be done only under careful examination of the effect. My impression is a lot of people feel better on some medication then just stop because they are "ok" *I don't know what that had to do with anything. Just something on my mind.
  18. I have my GDoc do the meds. She is very scientific about it and follows up so I feel better since she knows me. The PDoc she had me see to double check everything didn't do therapy and thought she was doing an excellent job except one time when he and I agreed Valium was a better choice then Xanax. He said the short acting strong affect made it a popular drug to abuse and that depending on it was less likely since it didn't last very long. I guess just saying he felt it was the "worst" says enough. Anyway I saw a PDoc before him and she got really uptight about me assuming she did therapy. She was just there to write prescriptions. So you walk in and have a DX - her job was to be the pill o matic. I "fired" her. *She was kinda nasty and who needs that regardless of what type of doctor you see?
  19. Hi Seal. Its good to see you since chat was shut off I never "talk" and I miss it. If your depression is bad (Yours sounds very bad) I would run (Not walk) to my GDoc and make it a plan to find something to deal with it that I could take daily. My depression got bad enough that I wasn't functional. Everything everyday was just a suckfest or shit. I've only tried two antidepressants and both eventually did work. I say eventually because it took many weeks for them to kick in. I wouldn't think taking on for a couple days would have any effect? Anyhow when they have kicked in I can still feel blue or upset but I think the meds keep me from flooring out. I think we talked about this in chat? Anyway I'm not sure I have anything of value to say on the gender issue other then this. If its important (Which I'm guessing it must be) and you don't address it you have a weight to carry along with the depression. Or could the two be connected? I don't know anything but just me thinking out loud. I have a friend who said she had problems with it like this. She got married (Born Male) it felt totally wrong (Divorced) so she assumed she was gay and tried to live that way and that wasn't any better. Someone had to suggest what the core issue was and anyway she did therapy and hormones and surgery and the last time we talked she was married to "mr wonderful" and things went "right" for her. I don't know if she was every taking antidepressants but by how miserable she felt I think a good case could have been made for to talk to an expert and see what that could do. I hope you find some peace and feel better. *Have a fish!
  20. It was hot and humid yesterday so all I did was fiddle with my car and managed to work up a sweat. I don't think that counts.
  21. I've tried both. Xanax is like "pow" but it wears off so quickly that I didn't find it too be that great. PDoc said he hates Xanax because in his opinion that "pow" is what makes people like using it too much. The short lived part of it naturally makes them want to take it more often and then you have someone with a problem. That not only scared me but I frankly thought its worthless to have an anxiety attack and chill it out for a tiny amount of time (Then it comes back) So... Valium. To me at the dose I take it kind of leaves me feeling normal. If I'm having a panic attack and take a Valium its not like POW your feeling doped up for a little while its more like "Wait? Wasn't I freaking out a little while ago?" Oh... Thats why God invented Valium. I told my TDoc about a particularly bad time and how that seemed like a Valium worthy time and she "BLANK Yeah"
  22. Our anchient kitty got out of the back yard for the first time since I catproofed it. But the neighbors spotted her and kept her inside until we saw a facebook message "Friendly cat found" However... Somehow they understood she was our cat and thought she was an outdoor cat but.... We found her back in our yard (Excaped back into the yard??) wet and cold but ok. She purred loud enough that you could hear it! *She is a quiet one in the purring department but an air raid siren when its time for a can of stinky cat chow.
  23. I had anorgasmia with the first drug. Switched to Wellbutren and I think it helped us stay togeher.
  24. Possibly betrayed and having some anxiety that is valium worthy. I really wnt it to kick in its 3AM
  25. My Endo put me on a diet that worked. "The Man Diet" is where you eat protean within an hour of waking up. Eggs, meat etc. Thats it. If you can handle extra try to make breakfast the big meal. Lunch just whatever and Dinner attempt to make that the smallest meal. If you can handle a third thing try to stop eating at 6 pm. ie no 9PM dinner. If you just do the first thing (And your male) this should work. Its all about metabolics. If your female there are some diets that work and the one that is the easiest is the "Yes Diet" I don't remember the particulars but I think its something like this. 8 cups of water a day and 30 grams of fiber. Whatever you do for breakfast, lunch and dinner is up to you. The same Endo said this was the easiest diet because it doesn't forbid things and its not an annoying count calories run on treadmills all day thing. One thing that I personaly advise is to not weigh yourself all the time. Both of these diets are slow but sure. Weighing yourself everyday will just cause a lot of anxiety because its not a loose 10 pounds in a week thing. It is a loose weight at a safe steady rate and not have to ruin your body with those diets that go up down up down in weight. Plus no Zoomba required! I think its helps to do something physical. But has nothing to do with diet. Treadmill for half an hour (Or work up to that) and try to do it 3 or 4 times a week. Yes, its boring. This is where earphones and a phone full of music or talk radio or whatever comes in handy. It makes the time fly.
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