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Everything posted by Derek

  1. I'm not alone in this I see. It seems to really rattle me, has me questioning if I should keep going really...
  2. It's after seeing my psychologist. I have a psychiatrist that doesnt quite hit me the same with anxiety.
  3. I've been panic/anxiety free for quite a few years now. However recently I was asked once again to attend therapy as my life has not progressed like I hope it would have. So the problem is I typically have anxiety return after going to the PDoc. Like I'll see him, and then that night and the following be a bit nervous until I get back on my usual schedule. Anyone hear of anything like this, or experience anything like this? This is one of the main reasons I was reluctant to go, because I feel like it opens up a seal I just want to remain shut. I don't want to end up avoiding it either, but you know how the anxiety demon can get. So it's a bit of a strange predicament, should I keep going and see what I discover, or just abandon it for more comfortable surroundings.
  4. You may be confusing the stimulation with anxiety. Majority of people have some level of anxiety over everything you list.
  5. That's understandable really. Have you considered that the surgery made you a bit anxious for a week and you'll be back on track here in a few days? Usually a trauma will rattle you a bit, but then the anxiety slowly disappear with time. So if you went a year without a panic attack, it's reasonable to assume that the further you get away from the surgery, the calmer you will feel. I'm dealing with a similar situation, my grandfather is passing away. However, dont look at it as "it's all happening again." I acknowledge my grandfather is passing away and that anxiety and depression are natural to feel during this time. Even having a panic attack is understandable. Having anxiety going into surgery is about as common as it can get...
  6. Just from my own experience, I typically always felt worse going on the medication and way better coming off of it. I had a fear of mindaltering drugs to begin with... However the medication typically did work in helping to calm things. The medication for anxiety is generally trying to stop you from bouncing off the wall a bit, inevitably you will feel calm and relax, but maybe a bit too sedated. Anxiety typically takes time to get away from...also, dont be surprised if you feel a bit depressed when the anxiety subsides, that's normal and will go away eventually.
  7. Oh, I understand what you're saying. My "thing" is losing control of myself or mind, which never happens, yet can bring about a panic. I'm not 100% sure it's completely random though. I think there has to be a series of traumas that takes place prior to panic attacks. (A panic attack itself I consider a trauma) I went about 3 years now without a single panic attack. However, my grandfather is on his death bed now, and that set my anxiety off a bit, along with the griefing. The problem with accepting it being random is that you do build anxiety leading up to it and make it worse, so I refuse to think it is random. I believe there's a pattern that places your mind into a vulnerable state. And then you are more sensitive to the unusual fears you might have. Since I've told myself that this is part of the grieving process, I havent paniced any more. Just been down. There's many times where I can usually dump anxiety off on another reason, and this alleviates panic, not sure if it works the same with others. For instance if I'm "sick" then anything that happens while I'm sick can be explained by that rather than being afraid of anxiety or recurring panic. I think it's usually "trauma/stress, anxiety, panic attacks, anxiety about ridiculous things, mild to severe depression, rebound to static state" That's the cycle that's happened to me for years. The good news being I eventually do rebound.
  8. Hello. I have suffered from GAD all of my life. Well I didnt actually call it that, I just thought I weaker than most that I wanted to be reclusive, shy, etc.....Anxiety eventually have way to Panic disorder, which I still struggle with to this day, although I am much better thanks to doctors and medication. People sometimes downplay the medication for anxiety, but having a safety net is usually enough to keep you floating. I am that guy that carries around that same one pill of ativan for years without having to use it. Anyhow, one thing I have really tried to uncover is if there is a common denominator in panic disorder. So far I have only seen the obvious ones, such as stress, "triggers," no sleep etc. but in my opinion there is more to it than just that. I do not know if most of you have it the same way I do, but typically my "state of mind" has to be in a certain position before a panic attack will occur. Meaning, unless it is at this point, there won't be a panic attack no matter how much worrying I do, if that makes sense. In fact I can go years without having any kind of panic, but then some kind of trauma will throw me into this state. It's hard to convey what it is like to anyone that doesnt have panic attacks. Many will say that "you" are talking yourself into it, however this is typically not the case for me. Typically my mind will slide into this vulnerable position I described, and a panic attack will occur at even the lowest of triggers. At the end of the day we all have to try our best to squeeze into these bodies, but having an anxiety disorder sure didnt make it any easier. I wanted to get some insight straight from other panic attack sufferers and not from a pamphlet or a Dr. going through the motions.
  9. yes, that's how i feel extremely fatigued
  10. Interesting, that's exactly what my GF would say. "everyone I've known is gone, why am I still here" I also wanted to ask about the panic attack I had. I havent had one in years, but with the news of my grandfather I woke up with one. I guess that's pretty normal, however it does bring up some worries for me because I've had panic disorder in the past. Do you think it will pass as part of the grieving process?
  11. thanks, i try to view it as he made it to 92 years old, that's not bad, but it still feels like being swallowed by a void
  12. Thanks, we do have family nearby, but it's never easy
  13. I wanted to ask some of you how you cope with loved ones passing away. My family is the quiet type, not really emotional. Emotional, but not expressive if that makes sense. My grandfather is going to hospice and he was a big part of my life growing up. He is 92 now and has kidney failure. So I woke up today in a panic attack, is that typical for somewhat with that condition during a time like this? I dont really know and I am not good at dealing with relatives passing on. I just don't handle it well, not that anyone does. But I havent had panic attacks since being on the medication, do you think I should look at this as part of the grieving process? Also, any tips on how you deal with grief would be most helpful. I feel very sick right now.
  14. I may get some flak for this but not sure you should be relying on drugs for something like that. That's more of a work it out yourself type of thing. You get into that frame of mind you might be taking it all the time. If you have to go out and deal with the public, and have to take them, I understand that, but not every situation is going to be handled with Ativan. I take ativan for panic attacks and anxiety before sleeping mostly.
  15. Hi, I'm on 300mg XR Effexor right now, and while it really has been a godsend for anxiety and depression, I'm starting to get more and more annoyed by some of the side effects. When I first started taking it about 3 years ago, I didnt mind the side effects, as long as I started feeling emotionally more stable, but now I'm questioning how much longer I want to be on it. Basically I've narrowed down the side effects that I'm absolutely sure are being caused by Effexor. I have general fatigue all day long. Dizziness. About the same time daily I'm having migraines. My blood pressure has always been a few points higher since I began Effexor (not too big a concern, but still....) So that's where I'm standing. My PDoc is pretty cool with helping me, but he's always about staying with the drug. He talked about a dosage decrease to 225mg, yet I refused thinking about the world without Effexor and the fact that I'm simply scared to go back there. So what do you suggest? And no, I really don't want to take any more medications. Have you ever ran into so many side effects that you want to jump ship? What did you do?
  16. unfortunately yes, I had a brief psychotic episode last time I tried to go off Ativan I havent been officially diagnosed with psychosis. It was more a perfect storm of stress, family problems, relationship problems, and financial problems, all collided within about the same month I was withdrawing from Ativan. It was quite a ride as you can imagine. I'm looking for a rough estimate. Can you tell me example, "after 3 months" you wont be experiencing withdrawals, only your own anxiety.
  17. I've been taking 1mg ativan nightly for approx 3 years now. I plan on stopping as I'm tired of being tired, however I do expect withdrawals, been on and off ativan for years. If I were to stop how long should I expect the withdrawals to go on for? Rough estimate will work.
  18. You might simply be in the clear, I'm planning on going off Ativan too soon, because I feel so tired all the time.
  19. I assumed the majority of withdrawal complaints would come from the fact, the drug is being pulled out, and so the bad mood may or may not return. But if your body is building up a tolerance to the drug, and it stops working, does that mean the withdrawals will not be there, or are the withdrawals from something else?
  20. ...and you stop the AntiDepressant, will you still have the same withdrawals? Let's imagine the AntiDepressant hasnt been working for 2 months as an example. (even tho it's impossible to actually know this) My Psych Nurse tried to explain this to me at one point, saying there's other things within the drugs that cause the withdrawals, however I found it to be confusing. If you were on a drug, and it stopped working, wouldnt you simply be able to toss it and feel the same (same as in Poop out effect) Maybe someone with a bit of experience could explain, I'm very curious about this though.....
  21. When I was in hospital I tried it, but it didnt agree with me. Effexor is actually excellent for me as far as wiping out depression, anxiety, and OCD , but I feel like I might need to loosen up on it cause it does make me drowsy.
  22. I understand people here arent doctors, however I've tried everything else from drinking lots of water, exercise, getting good night sleep etc....But every day I'm feeling extremely drowsy. My medications are 50mg Seroquel, 1mg Ativan, 300mg Effexor XR. The seroquel and ativan help me get to sleep which is nice. I'm wondering which of these you think would be best to loosen up for a little less sedation? I havent really wanted to tamper with it, because I've felt decent on this combo, but I'm just way too tired now. Thanks in advance.
  23. It certainly was for me, and it landed me into ecstacy, hallucinogens, which further landed me into panic attacks/depression, which now has me on Effexor and benzos. Drug use really just isnt worth it. I hate that I'm on these drugs now, but I accept I have to take them and they help. But if I could go back in time, I would stop my drug use at caffeine, because ever since drugs I haven't found a stable me. When I stop taking meds, my panic attack return and the cycle starts over again. Just remember folks, what goes up, will eventually have to come down.
  24. I'm not an expert or bipolar, but that doesnt sound like hallucinating. That could easily just be the medications. I've been on and off several that have given that side effect of brightening rooms or dimming them. For me a lot of the time colors will go bold and then light at different times, if that makes sense, which may be a symptom like psychosis. However I see that more as side effects from the meds than an actual psychosis. What's terrible about these things is that you can't really be sure which is what or rationalize with it, so sometimes you just have surrender to whatever comes your way. At least I try to, but we all get scared again and again. My problems originated also with hallucinogens just as social panda described. HPPD describes well what I had to deal with, and it was relatively unknown back when it started, so I was just dealing with PTSD as most people would describe. I've regained most of my senses for the most part, but not totally.
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