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About yeaocrzybitch

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    Sometimes, I want to give up

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  • Gender
  • Location
    South Florida
  • Interests
    Not working, painting, writing, reading, self help books, videos, my cat, laying in the sun, empowering moments, relief, sex & tattoo's, kick as tunes, good movies, good food, people that don't lie and are real even if the reality isn't pretty.
  1. I mean, I don't have too much to explain here. Does anyone else suffer from this?? My gyno diagnosed me with PMDD because I was feeling suicidal a week before my period every month... I have been keeping a daily mood tracker for about 6 months now. It is completely obvious that my depression starts worsening and worsening right after ovulation and only gives me relief when my period actually comes on till about when ovulation starts. The doctors have tried to increase my zoloft or whatever anti-depressant I am on at the time during that week, but I feel like that is just appeasing me with giving me a placebo effect because what meds work that quickly anyway?? It sucks because when it comes on... it feels SO much worse than the month before. It feels like I am hopeless, I am useless, I am missing too much work, I am too much of a burden to EVERYONE, I might as well just go be with God now because this is a miserable existence. I consider cutting myself, I have cut myself, Then I got a tattoo on my arm that says 'this too shall pass' and that actually has helped remind me that it will, becuase I forget. When I snap out of it I'm like holy crap... what the fuck was that? I don't want to die, I know life is good and I can almost act as if it didn't even happen but my poor family goes through it with my when I am open with them about it because sometimes it reaches the point I start to seroiusly consider a MAJOR life change because I just can't handle life on my own.. like moving back in with Daddy... many states away. Anyone relate?
  2. Welcome! I'm new too. early twenties, crazy.
  3. I'm so happy to see all the responses on this... so, I'm not crazy. (well, I still am) but I agree with dedoubt, it def it similar to the hypersensativity to touch because even just sitting with my legs crossed at work is way too arousing. I'm glad I posted because you guys are probably right, I guess it is a 'mania' type of mood. I've always identified my mania moods by just an extreme burst of energy, like going for a run when I don't normally evenTHINK about excersising or rearranging my entire living room. I'm almost scared to tell my doctor because I dont want t be put on YET another new medication that I may have side effects from and may give me the opposite effect of this. I just can't believe the timing of this. Years ago, I was in my addiction and I would have slept with anything breathing right now but I know the immense guilt & shame that comes from that. So, now.. I know this great guy and (thank God.. I still haven't slept with him yet) I want to wait. This is uncharted territory for me. I am not sure I've ever made it past 3 dates without sex. and NOW is when I am hypersexual??? awesome.
  4. Alright so, I am 23. I was FINALLY diagnosed as Bipolar Type 1 two months ago. I also have PMDD. I was already on 100 mg of zoloft & it was increased to 200mg during that one week of the month prior to my period. (one week prior to my period I feel... suicidal, unmotivated, completely drained of all energy, useless, hopeless and experience some fun crying spells & thoughts of cutting myself.) That med alone was not doing the trick. I am also on Birth Control - Lutera. They put me on Zoloft... 200 and 250mg during the 'bad week' plus 100mg of Lamictal. Eh, not much of a difference. Now, I am on Prozac instead of zoloft and double dose of Lamictal (200 mg)..... I am insanely horny. I am normally a very sexual person as it is... but now, I can't even concentrate at work.. A week ago I had to drive somewhere that was 30 minutes away... I just rubbed myself outside of my pants and had two orgasms on the way....while driving! I may be a bit of a sexual freak but, I have never done that before. Yesterday, I masterbated & had 3 orgasms in a row.. then I went on my third date with a guy... which went OH so well as I am trying to be the good respectful woman yet imaging getting down & dirty with him the whole time. So, after the date I had another little sesh and had three orgasms. Today.. at work, it was all I could think about. I actually left early and had my 3-O sesh again. JEEZ!!!! Is this normal??? I mean if I was in a committed relationship I may not be complaining, but it also is only a momentary relief when I actually orgasm. It may leave me kind of satisfied for like an hour after MAYBE, but then the little libido monster comes back full force. Whats up with this?I haven't reached the end of my cycle yet, so I'm not really sure how much the meds help other wise...
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